The Leopards Hit The Deck!

Panic! Panic! Andy, Frankie, Fabu, Stuey and Maxime all hit the deck within 10km of starting the race today, Stage 10.

Phew! They're all up and running again.

Several of them needed new bikes - is it me, or is it becoming more common to change bikes than it is to change wheels?

I know I mentioned the dastardly possibility of Contador cheating (*sharp intake of breath, surely not*) a while ago, involving motorized bikes: but the more I watch this race, the more I am seeing bikes being changed almost as a matter of course.

Is it possible that the brakes/gears etc are getting less reliable? Or, before I get shot by some bike manufacturers, are the bikes getting so technical that wheel removal can throw other components out of alignment?

I did read somewhere yesterday that Astana (or Katusha, possibly) were having to send home for more bikes and more parts, as they'd written off so many already. At at 8k euros each, hmm, well, let's hope that the sponsors are paying for them.

I also read a slightly scare-mongering article somewhere today, which suggested that the lightweight carbon fibre bikes which are now popular amongst pro-cyclists are less able to absorb impact than the old steel ones, and could be contributing to the general feeling that cyclists are going down harder these days. Anyone have a thought on that?

Talking of which, I received a strange suggestion via email today - you are most welcome to email me, by the way, if there are things you wish to say but don't want to put up as a comment. I don't check my mailbox every single day (*blushes guiltily*) but I generally pick messages up every couple of days...

Anyway, it's been suggested that I am doing Blogging "wrongly". Apparently I'm not supposed to answer back in the comments section, that's for you lot to use: if something needs an answer, I am supposed to answer it in my next blog entry.

Any thoughts on that? I rather like the to-and-fro of the comments column, personally. And this is intended to be an interactive blog - you know, you ask questions, I ignore answer them: I pinch your ideas turn to you for inspiration: and in return hopefully provide a bit of entertainment. With a teeny tiny Schleck-flavour.

Which reminds me, as we seem to be slightly losing sight of OGL, here is what he looks like:

Still a tiny hint of a moustache, Andy my pet: when shaving the legs (and yes, we can all visualise that Very Clearly Indeed thanks to Susanne) don't forget the upper lip.

Oh, must tell you (*jumps up and down with excitement*) this tiny thought on the subject of Andy's girlfriend, Jil (oh blimey, I've just ruined this blog again for search terms: I kid you not, the post which I foolishly entitled "Andy Schleck you-know-what 2011" has received 9 times as many page views as any other page! Where was I? Oh yes: Jil.).

So, we all speculate from time to time what it must be like to go out with Andy Schleck someone a bit famous who rides a bike, don't we?

I was reading about "the girlfriend" of "a cyclist" - it would be a bit mean to give names - who didn't know a thing about cycling when she was introduced to "the cyclist" by a friend who at that time trained with him.

She's now trailing around France with her parents, waiting for odd moments to meet up with him. She says that after the race they are piled on to the bus and taken off to the next place, so there's not much chance to meet up after the race.

And she rather wisely says that she doesn't like to get in the way at the start of a race. So she grabs a few moments with him when she can - and says she's managed to sneak in a couple of times. (That sounds fun!) (And rather reminds us of the *sighs gently* Monza video. Remember Andy showing "attitude"? Sitting on the stairs outside the room because Frankie's girlfriend was visiting him...)

So what's her take on being part of the Tour? Does she adjust his brake blocks for him? Check that his saddle is level? Spray that stuff on his cleats? No - she cheerfully admits that she doesn't know one end of a bike from the other, and says “I don’t have a clue – I keep as far away from the bike as possible."

After spending a day or two topping up her tan - her words, not mine - she said  “But on Tuesday in particular it was pouring down and I was on the side of a mountain with cream shoes. It was a bad idea, I don’t know why I had cream shoes on the side of a mountain.”

A-ha-ha neighing! Sorry, shouldn't laugh, these things always lose something in the translation, ("She has to live with this for the time of my career.” comes to mind) but she does seem a little, er, unconnected. I would have thought that to be the girlfriend of a rising star, you need to put in a bit of effort to help them, wouldn't you?

And what does this have to do with Jil? Not a lot, I was just wondering how involved she is: has she managed to fix it so she can follow the Tour? Does she manage to see him now and again? Does Frankie have to sit on the stairs, in his turn?

Not terribly exciting stuff, I know, but it keeps me off the subject of French Cars and what should be done to their drivers. Latest news is that Sky are suggesting that they won't sue the driver in order to avoid offending ASO, who were kind enough to give them a wild card invite to the Tour last year, before they were a pro team. Uh? I mean, grateful, yes, but grateful enough to overlook a French driver knocking over their rider? I think not.

Oddly enough, no-one in the cycling press has pointed out that the French TV car took out a Spaniard riding for a UK team,  and a Dutchman, leaving the two Frenchmen (and another rider) perfectly unharmed.

I can't imagine that any of you missed it, but here's the car hitting Flecha:

The plot appears to be thus: the car contains personnel from French TV: not actually filming, just what they call "support personnel" ie guests, visitors, managers having a nice day out, you decide.

The car was told not to overtake the riders, but to make way for the Europcar team car which was on it's way to the front to give Voeckler a water bottle.

Instead of doing as it was told, this car pulled out to overtake the breakaway, then swerved into the road to avoid a tree growing in the verge. They could have braked: they could have waited: but no, too important to wait, they drove on, swerved out, hitting Flecha with the wing of the car thus knocking him heavily to the ground, and Hoogerland then went into the back of Flecha and was catapulted a couple of feet into the air and then into a barbed wire fence, at some speed.

And this is what remains of poor Johnny Hoogerland after he was catapulted through that fence:

33 stitches, Schlecklanders, 33 stitches. And a rest day spent mostly lying in an ice bath, apparently, ugh. Oh, and he had to have a new pair of shorts in order to finish the race - now, I know these boys aren't particularly body-shy, but I wouldn't fancy having to strip naked by the roadside with camera bikes, helicopters, cars etc all cruising slowly past, gawping. And it wouldn't be a quick strip and change, would it, with all those cuts?

Flecha, meanwhile, is worried that his elbow is damaged, but he's determined to carry on the race.

Darn, I didn't mean to get started on that subject. I think you can tell that I'm pretty cross on the subject, and although I have taken Team Sky's words to heart, I have made my decisions:

1) Sack that driver from the Tour. Check.
2) Sack that driver from French TV. Check.
3) Ban all "jolly" cars, leaving just team cars, medical cars, commissaires, neutral service cars, ditto bikes plus camera bikes, and the yellow bike with the chalkboard. All others banned.
4) Give all drivers a good talking to and remind them of who is important in this race: all together now, "THE CYCLISTS"
5) At the very least, instruct all cars to take extra care. Check. I think they've given out instructions that all cars must be a certain distance away from the cyclists - well, that's a start. I think it's "two minutes away from the riders where the roads permit."

And finally, 6) Sue/prosecute that driver. Dangerous driving, and not stopping after an accident, for a start: had they been drinking?

Stop! Enough! Right.

Well, so much for botany homework, I really must stop now and do some, so here's a nice photo of Andy who didn't want to get wet getting from the team coach to the hotel, so he improvised a coat:

Little Black Riding Hood was the best comment.