Phew, *wipes sweat from brow*, Andy has been selected for the Tour, along with Frankie, now recovered from his concussion we hope: also Jensie, and Fabs.
The others are Gregory Rast, Danny van Poppel (presumably Brother Boy is still in disgrace for shoving at the Tour de Suisse), Markel Irizar, Haimar Zubeldia and Matthew Busche.
The team keep changing their tune as to what they plan to do - one minute it's all "no GC, we're going for stages" then today it's "Andy is riding to support Frankie and Irizar" - so I guess we will just have to wait and see.
Personally I'd be happy to see Andy and Jensie getting in breaks every day, lots of screen time: with Frankie and Irizar doing their bit at the end.
What am I saying? Personally I'm just delighted to see Andy on a bike again! Go, Andy!
Thursday 26 June 2014
Saturday 21 June 2014
Funding: the Belkin suggestion
Much gnashing of teeth this week, at the news that Belkin are breaking their two-and-a-half year contract and are ducking out of sponsorship at the end of this season.
Swines!
What is the point of having a contract if you don't keep to it? Grr, grrrrr, grrrr.
The team are now scratching around for another sponsor, and in the meantime have announced that they are asking for "crowd funding" - the news report said they are asking supporters to donate ten euros to help them keep going until they find a sponsor, and to demonstrate to any potential sponsors that they have a good level of support from the fans.
Reading the anonymous comments on the news report, it would appear that a lot of people don't understand what "donate" means: many of them were asking what they got for their money. These are people who have clearly never given to charity in their lives - when you donate, you don't expect to get anything, other than a warm internal glow and the knowledge that you are enriching your soul by doing something for someone else. Even though in this case, you are doing it in order to keep a team that you support going, which might be considered to be slightly selfish.
Other people queried what would happen to the money if the team did not get a sponsor, and had to fold - who would get it? They reminded us of the Kimmidge fund problem, where unscrupulous people can appropriate donated money. It's a valid point.
Then someone pointed out that on the Belkin website, it doesn't ask for "donations", they are in fact asking for money and in return you get "membership", so you are indeed getting something for your money.
When I read the terms and conditions of membership, however, I found it was a bit worrying:
"1. ‘Team Belkin Membership’ subscription at a price of € 10.00
2. ’Team Belkin plus Membership’ subscription at a price of € 25.
3. ‘Team Belkin Ride the Future Membership’ subscription at a price of € 75.00
4.2 The Subscriber shall pay the Subscription fees in advance. The Agreement enters into effect when the Subscriber purchases one or more of the Belkin Pro Cycling Subscriptions. Subscriptions run for one year. At the end of the duration Subscriptions and thereby the Agreement will be tacitly renewed for an indefinite duration. On renewal, the Subscriber’s Subscription is automatically converted into a Belkin plus subscription. Every Subscriber therefore pays, from the renewal of the Subscription, an annual subscription fee of 10 euros"
There are a couple of points here that concern me - "tacitly renewed"? Once you are assimilated, there is no escape, apparently. For an "indefinite duration". That'll be "for ever more" then, as there does not seem to be a mechanism for cancelling it.
It also says that on renewal, your membership is upgraded, which presumably means that you have to pay the higher fee. For ever more. And the following para contains threats that if subs are not paid, the subscriber is liable to pay interest on the amount owed from the moment it becomes due. Scary! They don't specify who will come round to your house and collect the unpaid sub and the interest (for ever more, remember): I suppose if they are going to send round a skinny domestique it wouldn't be so bad, I think I could probably hold my own against one of them, but what if they sent a beefy mechanic?
In case you are wondering what you get for your money, for 10 euros you get an annual email newsletter, for 25 you get the newsletter plus a flag and a bidon, for 75 you also get a replica team shirt. Huh, bet they don't do one in my size! *laughs*
Bearing in mind that I am reading a translation of the website, I thought it wasn't entirely clear whether they were asking for people to join as members, or to just give them money, so it might be that you can donate your 10 euros just the once. But I wouldn't bet on it, and because of that, I won't be contributing.
Some people were very rude about the idea, and talked of "putting out the begging bowls" and suggested "if they want to make money they could sell bidons". That suggestion is a bit behind the times, several pro teams offer bidons and musettes (at exorbitant cost) on their websites, although I have to say they would probably do well if they set up a stall at the team buses at races, selling stuff to the crowd. You might remember the efforts I had to make to acquire musettes at the Tour of Britain last year...
One person even suggested that they should put a collecting box on the bikes, and we can throw coins into it as they pass.
Hey, great idea! Oh, hold on, that means that every race will be won by a complete unknown, as all the favourites will be weighed down by all the coins (mental picture of Andy having to be pushed uphill, with his collection bowl overflowing). Maybe the more popular riders would have to periodically hand their bowl to a domestique who would take it back to the team car for emptying?
Perhaps they will have to have Unloading Zones as well as Feed Zones, where they tip the money out. Or perhaps each team can send round a motorcycle, like the one that gives out bidons, but with a chute for tipping the coins into.
Better still, instead of tossing coins, we could tuck euro notes into their pockets, their armbands, and up the leg of their shorts - that would work best on very steep climbs, I think, when they are pedalling quite slowly. Not so easy on the descents, I do admit.
Meanwhile, once you have donated to a team, you should definitely be allocated a specific item that your 10 euros has paid for. One of the bolts holding the stem, perhaps? Two rolls of bar tape? Four square inches of the driver's seat cover on the team bus? One inch of the left-hand windscreen wiper on the team car? Maybe if we clubbed together, we could get one leg of Andy's skinsuit?
The mind boggles.
Swines!
What is the point of having a contract if you don't keep to it? Grr, grrrrr, grrrr.
The team are now scratching around for another sponsor, and in the meantime have announced that they are asking for "crowd funding" - the news report said they are asking supporters to donate ten euros to help them keep going until they find a sponsor, and to demonstrate to any potential sponsors that they have a good level of support from the fans.
Reading the anonymous comments on the news report, it would appear that a lot of people don't understand what "donate" means: many of them were asking what they got for their money. These are people who have clearly never given to charity in their lives - when you donate, you don't expect to get anything, other than a warm internal glow and the knowledge that you are enriching your soul by doing something for someone else. Even though in this case, you are doing it in order to keep a team that you support going, which might be considered to be slightly selfish.
Other people queried what would happen to the money if the team did not get a sponsor, and had to fold - who would get it? They reminded us of the Kimmidge fund problem, where unscrupulous people can appropriate donated money. It's a valid point.
Then someone pointed out that on the Belkin website, it doesn't ask for "donations", they are in fact asking for money and in return you get "membership", so you are indeed getting something for your money.
When I read the terms and conditions of membership, however, I found it was a bit worrying:
"1. ‘Team Belkin Membership’ subscription at a price of € 10.00
2. ’Team Belkin plus Membership’ subscription at a price of € 25.
3. ‘Team Belkin Ride the Future Membership’ subscription at a price of € 75.00
4.2 The Subscriber shall pay the Subscription fees in advance. The Agreement enters into effect when the Subscriber purchases one or more of the Belkin Pro Cycling Subscriptions. Subscriptions run for one year. At the end of the duration Subscriptions and thereby the Agreement will be tacitly renewed for an indefinite duration. On renewal, the Subscriber’s Subscription is automatically converted into a Belkin plus subscription. Every Subscriber therefore pays, from the renewal of the Subscription, an annual subscription fee of 10 euros"
There are a couple of points here that concern me - "tacitly renewed"? Once you are assimilated, there is no escape, apparently. For an "indefinite duration". That'll be "for ever more" then, as there does not seem to be a mechanism for cancelling it.
It also says that on renewal, your membership is upgraded, which presumably means that you have to pay the higher fee. For ever more. And the following para contains threats that if subs are not paid, the subscriber is liable to pay interest on the amount owed from the moment it becomes due. Scary! They don't specify who will come round to your house and collect the unpaid sub and the interest (for ever more, remember): I suppose if they are going to send round a skinny domestique it wouldn't be so bad, I think I could probably hold my own against one of them, but what if they sent a beefy mechanic?
In case you are wondering what you get for your money, for 10 euros you get an annual email newsletter, for 25 you get the newsletter plus a flag and a bidon, for 75 you also get a replica team shirt. Huh, bet they don't do one in my size! *laughs*
Bearing in mind that I am reading a translation of the website, I thought it wasn't entirely clear whether they were asking for people to join as members, or to just give them money, so it might be that you can donate your 10 euros just the once. But I wouldn't bet on it, and because of that, I won't be contributing.
Some people were very rude about the idea, and talked of "putting out the begging bowls" and suggested "if they want to make money they could sell bidons". That suggestion is a bit behind the times, several pro teams offer bidons and musettes (at exorbitant cost) on their websites, although I have to say they would probably do well if they set up a stall at the team buses at races, selling stuff to the crowd. You might remember the efforts I had to make to acquire musettes at the Tour of Britain last year...
One person even suggested that they should put a collecting box on the bikes, and we can throw coins into it as they pass.
Hey, great idea! Oh, hold on, that means that every race will be won by a complete unknown, as all the favourites will be weighed down by all the coins (mental picture of Andy having to be pushed uphill, with his collection bowl overflowing). Maybe the more popular riders would have to periodically hand their bowl to a domestique who would take it back to the team car for emptying?
Perhaps they will have to have Unloading Zones as well as Feed Zones, where they tip the money out. Or perhaps each team can send round a motorcycle, like the one that gives out bidons, but with a chute for tipping the coins into.
Better still, instead of tossing coins, we could tuck euro notes into their pockets, their armbands, and up the leg of their shorts - that would work best on very steep climbs, I think, when they are pedalling quite slowly. Not so easy on the descents, I do admit.
Meanwhile, once you have donated to a team, you should definitely be allocated a specific item that your 10 euros has paid for. One of the bolts holding the stem, perhaps? Two rolls of bar tape? Four square inches of the driver's seat cover on the team bus? One inch of the left-hand windscreen wiper on the team car? Maybe if we clubbed together, we could get one leg of Andy's skinsuit?
The mind boggles.
Tuesday 17 June 2014
Concussion... poor Frankie!
Oh dear, poor Frankie is out of the Tour de Suisse with concussion after a nasty fall which no-one saw, due to the terrible road conditions at the time.
Watching it, it was hard to believe that there was all that fuss in the Giro about a neutralised (or not) descent in weather which was nowhere near as bad as that on the pass. I know that our eyes can often see more than the camera can, and I know that these guys are professionals, but blimey, I couldn't make out who was who, or where the road was going. No wonder there is no footage of the crash!
At one point LLB and I were both lunging forward out of our seats, screaming "nooooooo!" as two riders slid towards the barrier - as though we could do anything about it! - and luckily neither of them went over it, but phew, it was a close call. It rather brought back memories of this Tour in 2008, (was it that long ago?) when Frankie flipped over the barrier on a bend, and for a short time it looked as though he'd never be seen again, although on that occasion he reappeared, unharmed, and continued.
According to news reports, there were a lot of shunts in the fog: Andy went down, but not badly, and indeed he had a pretty good day, he was up there with the front of the peloton, looking very comfortable indeed in 5th or 6th place (good positioning - safe, but not in the wind) on the big climbs.
However, Frankie went down hard, and although he bravely finished the race, he was taken off to hospital and has now been pulled out of the race with concussion.
Obviously we send him lots of Schleckland hugs, and wishes for a speedy recovery.
Alas, I don't have a pic of Andy in action, but here's one of JVS:
He's pulling the entire peloton along, as usual, in the early/middle stages of the race, as usual, and oh look, he has his sleeves tucked up!
What is is with JVS and tucking up his sleeves? His arms are probably six inches longer than anyone else, so it's not as though the white band makes the sleeve uncomfortably long.
Does anyone know if he has a twitter account? Can we ask him? Perhaps I could ask Fran Miller to ask her brother about it?
Leaving JVS aside and returning to Andy for a moment, there's a not-very-pleasant news report out this morning which reports that his team manager has stated that if he is selected for the Tour, he won't be going for GC as he's just not good enough, and that he is going to have to prove that he has some form now, in the Tour de Suisse, otherwise he won't even be selected.
Oh, that's nice, tell the whole world, why not! What happened to managers having a quiet word with the person concerned? Warning, Schlecklanders, don't read the comments at the bottom of the report, they will only make you cross. I don't really see the point of issuing this sort of statement: Andy himself already knows that he has to perform or he won't be selected, so why tell the journalists, and add even more pressure to the guy?
Or is that the idea? Pro riders have to be incredible athletes, made of steel, and they also have to be able to take the pressure of uninformed, biased idiots making stupid comments about them.
I do hope that Andy doesn't read these reports... TinkerJil! Don't let him read them! Make him look at some Lolcats or something, instead!
Watching it, it was hard to believe that there was all that fuss in the Giro about a neutralised (or not) descent in weather which was nowhere near as bad as that on the pass. I know that our eyes can often see more than the camera can, and I know that these guys are professionals, but blimey, I couldn't make out who was who, or where the road was going. No wonder there is no footage of the crash!
At one point LLB and I were both lunging forward out of our seats, screaming "nooooooo!" as two riders slid towards the barrier - as though we could do anything about it! - and luckily neither of them went over it, but phew, it was a close call. It rather brought back memories of this Tour in 2008, (was it that long ago?) when Frankie flipped over the barrier on a bend, and for a short time it looked as though he'd never be seen again, although on that occasion he reappeared, unharmed, and continued.
According to news reports, there were a lot of shunts in the fog: Andy went down, but not badly, and indeed he had a pretty good day, he was up there with the front of the peloton, looking very comfortable indeed in 5th or 6th place (good positioning - safe, but not in the wind) on the big climbs.
However, Frankie went down hard, and although he bravely finished the race, he was taken off to hospital and has now been pulled out of the race with concussion.
Obviously we send him lots of Schleckland hugs, and wishes for a speedy recovery.
Alas, I don't have a pic of Andy in action, but here's one of JVS:
What is is with JVS and tucking up his sleeves? His arms are probably six inches longer than anyone else, so it's not as though the white band makes the sleeve uncomfortably long.
Does anyone know if he has a twitter account? Can we ask him? Perhaps I could ask Fran Miller to ask her brother about it?
Leaving JVS aside and returning to Andy for a moment, there's a not-very-pleasant news report out this morning which reports that his team manager has stated that if he is selected for the Tour, he won't be going for GC as he's just not good enough, and that he is going to have to prove that he has some form now, in the Tour de Suisse, otherwise he won't even be selected.
Oh, that's nice, tell the whole world, why not! What happened to managers having a quiet word with the person concerned? Warning, Schlecklanders, don't read the comments at the bottom of the report, they will only make you cross. I don't really see the point of issuing this sort of statement: Andy himself already knows that he has to perform or he won't be selected, so why tell the journalists, and add even more pressure to the guy?
Or is that the idea? Pro riders have to be incredible athletes, made of steel, and they also have to be able to take the pressure of uninformed, biased idiots making stupid comments about them.
I do hope that Andy doesn't read these reports... TinkerJil! Don't let him read them! Make him look at some Lolcats or something, instead!
Tuesday 10 June 2014
Dauphine - day 1
Having been disappointed with the total lack of TV coverage of the Tour of Luxembourg, I was happy to find that we've been given hours and hours of the ITT stage of the Dauphine - then I found out that the only reason for the scheduling was in the hopes of getting viewers "hooked" before the football coverage started. Still, who cares, all coverage is good!
It was a shame not to see any of the Tour de Lux, but LLB reminded me of our hilarity at last year's TT, when all we had was a static camera somewhere near to the finish line (but not close enough to actually show the finish) which was very poor quality, and appeared to be a cctv camera. It had a very limited swivel action, and rather unfortunately there was a woman with enormous breasts who had chosen to stand just within the sweep range of this camera, so it looked as though whoever was operating it was completely fixated on her massive frontage, and not very interested in the cycling.
Dauphine - much better, proper cameras, and lots of coverage.
I did like the "Tube" as they called the tunnel - very extravagant, with lights and moving pictures, although if I walked along it, I might be a bit concerned by the "portholes" showing fish and other underwater scenes. Oh, all right, I admit it, if I lived there, I would be unable to resist taking a felt pen along and adding fake cracks around the portholes... LLB commented that it would be an ideal place from which to watch a TT, as it wouldn't matter what the weather was doing!
Just as our coverage started, David Millar was setting off, and apparently this is going to be his last season. I thought at first that he was wearing a water bottle strapped to his tummy, in the style of Frankie, but I think he was just breathing deeply. Bumfluff (Teej Van Garderen) had already gone, so I wasn't able to make rude comments about his chin coverage, but I could certainly make comments about Cunego, who was riding bow legged and looked terrible, especially as he did a "fifty-pence-piece" corner on a nasty hairpin, avoiding what looked like an oil slick covered in sand on the road. Our commentators mentioned that a car had just leaked either fuel or oil over the road, which must have caused a major panic for the organisers. They seemed to think that he was really pushing on, but I was not convinced: and as it turned out, he came in over a minute down (on a 10k TT!) so I think I was right.
The alleged controversy over Wiggins and the Tour continues to rumble on, but having checked the cycling news, it's all just media hype; Team Sky don't seem to be bothered, they are making the usual insulting tweets to each other (Ian Boswell has started a campaign "Luke Rowe For The Tour!") and nice Sir David Brailsford has been forced to issue a statement saying that he has not yet announced the Tour team, so it's a bit premature to suggest that Wiggo will not be riding it. *sigh*. Personally, I think Wiggo started the issue, simply by being who he is - he has an unfortunate knack of saying things that come out the wrong way (assuming that he does not actually want to be considered an arrogant, aggressive, un-co-operative little weasel), and the media do love to jump on everything he says.
Eventually our commentators get back to the job in hand, just in time to see the lovely Jakob take the start ramp - he even manages to look good in the Ass-t'na onesie pyjama suit, but where is the visor? He is at least wearing wraparound glasses, but no visor? Surely with all that attention to aero clothing and hats, someone would have pointed out the beneficial effect of smoothing out the eye sockets? At least he doesn't have the word Latex printed across his shoulders, as the poor Omega Pharma Armbands guys do.. makes me laugh every time! Properly speaking, it's "Latexco" and apparently they make memory foam mattresses, but honestly, it just makes me snigger: I always think of Mulder in X-files saying "Come on Scully, you know you love to snap on a latex" and the Look that she gave him...
After a very precarious and unprofessional hand-over to Eurosport international, we see Ryder "Doper" Hesjerdal - there's something about him that is so ungainly on a bike, don't you think? He always looks as though his bike is too small for him. I assume that Garmin have had him properly fitted for a bike (they are a pro team, after all) so I can only assume that his bike fits him from the waist down, but his upper body is too long and out of proportion, giving him that bow-legged elbows look. He goes round Oily Corner looking somewhat like a daddy-long-legs on a bike. Not pretty.
Ah, Cofidis! How nice to see that red and white off-the-shoulder kit again! I'm really not sure about the seriously old-school full aero pointy helmet though, especially as it's bright yellow. Old stock? Left over from the glory days of leading the team competition? Stinkoff hand-me-downs? Who knows.
Carlton Kirby, commentating, is suddenly referring to riders leaving the start ramp as "de-ramping" which makes them sound like some sort of cargo being unloaded. Not so silly, actually, as we see Jensie thundering round the course, heading for the finish line in the unstoppable juggernaut style that we have come to expect. He's out of the saddle, he has his teeth out, and he's pedalling ferociously, putting in much more effort than many other riders. Go, Jensie! Meanwhile Pozzato and his moustache - given only 3 out of 10 by Carlton - de-ramps, and is then seen taking the inside line around Oily Corner, causing several of us to make that sharp intake of breath through the teeth: both LLB and I did it, and I think I heard Carlton do it, too.
Sky's top robot domestique, and Schlecklander pet Vasil Kiryienka, does a cracking ride and pushes himself into the top 5, which makes me jump up and down and wave my home-made Sky flag - that's an amazing ride considering he's not a TT expert.
At last we are on to the final few: Nibali and his nose-strip (but no visor) head off, and Conti takes the ramp, looking very flustered and fiddling with the back of his enormous aero helmet. Maybe he had to snatch it back off the Cofidis guy and slap the Stinkoff stickers on it. He appears to be wearing a low scoop neck skinsuit with no zip, making me wonder just how stretchy lycra really is. Could it be possible to wriggle in via the neck hole? He's pretty skinny, of course, but is a zip really that non-aero?
Froomey does a good start, he's last to go, and we are pleased to see that he remembered to remove his nose plugs this time.
Ah, a back view of Contador - his skin suit has a short zip running down the back. Huh? That seems odd: either he put it on back to front, or they've developed a skinsuit which requires two people to get into, as it seems to lack that long swinging tag that wet-suits have...
Froomey takes the wobbly inside line at Oily Corner just as our commentators are jumping up and down with excitement to tell us that Nibali is fastest at the split point, faster than Conti, and Froomey. Apparently he hasn't learned to do the negative split, though, and finally comes in at 8th place, while Froomey zooms home to win by the "massive" margin of 8 seconds. Not massive in race terms, of course, but in the context of a short TT where the top ten were separated by only 6 seconds before he arrived... in that context, phenomenal! Go, Froomey!
So, there we are, Dauphine under way, and hopefully it won't be full of broken limbs and non-aero stretchy bandages, as the Giro of Destruction was. I was hoping to follow the Tour de Lux via the Trek Factory Racing website, but I gave up as it's the crappiest, worst website I have ever encountered, worse even than the RadioShambles one, which was pretty bad. I have counted how long it takes each page to load, and some of them take 14 seconds!! In this day and age! I have been forced to check the SkodaTour page for the results, and I can see that Frankie came 9th, 56 seconds down on an 18 hour race: Andy came 50th, 14 minutes down, out of 65 finishers. Not a stellar performance, but I'm happy to see that he finished the race all in one piece!
It was a shame not to see any of the Tour de Lux, but LLB reminded me of our hilarity at last year's TT, when all we had was a static camera somewhere near to the finish line (but not close enough to actually show the finish) which was very poor quality, and appeared to be a cctv camera. It had a very limited swivel action, and rather unfortunately there was a woman with enormous breasts who had chosen to stand just within the sweep range of this camera, so it looked as though whoever was operating it was completely fixated on her massive frontage, and not very interested in the cycling.
Dauphine - much better, proper cameras, and lots of coverage.
I did like the "Tube" as they called the tunnel - very extravagant, with lights and moving pictures, although if I walked along it, I might be a bit concerned by the "portholes" showing fish and other underwater scenes. Oh, all right, I admit it, if I lived there, I would be unable to resist taking a felt pen along and adding fake cracks around the portholes... LLB commented that it would be an ideal place from which to watch a TT, as it wouldn't matter what the weather was doing!
Just as our coverage started, David Millar was setting off, and apparently this is going to be his last season. I thought at first that he was wearing a water bottle strapped to his tummy, in the style of Frankie, but I think he was just breathing deeply. Bumfluff (Teej Van Garderen) had already gone, so I wasn't able to make rude comments about his chin coverage, but I could certainly make comments about Cunego, who was riding bow legged and looked terrible, especially as he did a "fifty-pence-piece" corner on a nasty hairpin, avoiding what looked like an oil slick covered in sand on the road. Our commentators mentioned that a car had just leaked either fuel or oil over the road, which must have caused a major panic for the organisers. They seemed to think that he was really pushing on, but I was not convinced: and as it turned out, he came in over a minute down (on a 10k TT!) so I think I was right.
The alleged controversy over Wiggins and the Tour continues to rumble on, but having checked the cycling news, it's all just media hype; Team Sky don't seem to be bothered, they are making the usual insulting tweets to each other (Ian Boswell has started a campaign "Luke Rowe For The Tour!") and nice Sir David Brailsford has been forced to issue a statement saying that he has not yet announced the Tour team, so it's a bit premature to suggest that Wiggo will not be riding it. *sigh*. Personally, I think Wiggo started the issue, simply by being who he is - he has an unfortunate knack of saying things that come out the wrong way (assuming that he does not actually want to be considered an arrogant, aggressive, un-co-operative little weasel), and the media do love to jump on everything he says.
Eventually our commentators get back to the job in hand, just in time to see the lovely Jakob take the start ramp - he even manages to look good in the Ass-t'na onesie pyjama suit, but where is the visor? He is at least wearing wraparound glasses, but no visor? Surely with all that attention to aero clothing and hats, someone would have pointed out the beneficial effect of smoothing out the eye sockets? At least he doesn't have the word Latex printed across his shoulders, as the poor Omega Pharma Armbands guys do.. makes me laugh every time! Properly speaking, it's "Latexco" and apparently they make memory foam mattresses, but honestly, it just makes me snigger: I always think of Mulder in X-files saying "Come on Scully, you know you love to snap on a latex" and the Look that she gave him...
After a very precarious and unprofessional hand-over to Eurosport international, we see Ryder "Doper" Hesjerdal - there's something about him that is so ungainly on a bike, don't you think? He always looks as though his bike is too small for him. I assume that Garmin have had him properly fitted for a bike (they are a pro team, after all) so I can only assume that his bike fits him from the waist down, but his upper body is too long and out of proportion, giving him that bow-legged elbows look. He goes round Oily Corner looking somewhat like a daddy-long-legs on a bike. Not pretty.
Ah, Cofidis! How nice to see that red and white off-the-shoulder kit again! I'm really not sure about the seriously old-school full aero pointy helmet though, especially as it's bright yellow. Old stock? Left over from the glory days of leading the team competition? Stinkoff hand-me-downs? Who knows.
Carlton Kirby, commentating, is suddenly referring to riders leaving the start ramp as "de-ramping" which makes them sound like some sort of cargo being unloaded. Not so silly, actually, as we see Jensie thundering round the course, heading for the finish line in the unstoppable juggernaut style that we have come to expect. He's out of the saddle, he has his teeth out, and he's pedalling ferociously, putting in much more effort than many other riders. Go, Jensie! Meanwhile Pozzato and his moustache - given only 3 out of 10 by Carlton - de-ramps, and is then seen taking the inside line around Oily Corner, causing several of us to make that sharp intake of breath through the teeth: both LLB and I did it, and I think I heard Carlton do it, too.
Sky's top robot domestique, and Schlecklander pet Vasil Kiryienka, does a cracking ride and pushes himself into the top 5, which makes me jump up and down and wave my home-made Sky flag - that's an amazing ride considering he's not a TT expert.
At last we are on to the final few: Nibali and his nose-strip (but no visor) head off, and Conti takes the ramp, looking very flustered and fiddling with the back of his enormous aero helmet. Maybe he had to snatch it back off the Cofidis guy and slap the Stinkoff stickers on it. He appears to be wearing a low scoop neck skinsuit with no zip, making me wonder just how stretchy lycra really is. Could it be possible to wriggle in via the neck hole? He's pretty skinny, of course, but is a zip really that non-aero?
Froomey does a good start, he's last to go, and we are pleased to see that he remembered to remove his nose plugs this time.
Ah, a back view of Contador - his skin suit has a short zip running down the back. Huh? That seems odd: either he put it on back to front, or they've developed a skinsuit which requires two people to get into, as it seems to lack that long swinging tag that wet-suits have...
Froomey takes the wobbly inside line at Oily Corner just as our commentators are jumping up and down with excitement to tell us that Nibali is fastest at the split point, faster than Conti, and Froomey. Apparently he hasn't learned to do the negative split, though, and finally comes in at 8th place, while Froomey zooms home to win by the "massive" margin of 8 seconds. Not massive in race terms, of course, but in the context of a short TT where the top ten were separated by only 6 seconds before he arrived... in that context, phenomenal! Go, Froomey!
So, there we are, Dauphine under way, and hopefully it won't be full of broken limbs and non-aero stretchy bandages, as the Giro of Destruction was. I was hoping to follow the Tour de Lux via the Trek Factory Racing website, but I gave up as it's the crappiest, worst website I have ever encountered, worse even than the RadioShambles one, which was pretty bad. I have counted how long it takes each page to load, and some of them take 14 seconds!! In this day and age! I have been forced to check the SkodaTour page for the results, and I can see that Frankie came 9th, 56 seconds down on an 18 hour race: Andy came 50th, 14 minutes down, out of 65 finishers. Not a stellar performance, but I'm happy to see that he finished the race all in one piece!
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