At last, a news report that made me smile!
This morning, Velonation are carrying a very encouraging report on Our Andy, in which he says that next year's Tour is going to be good for him.
Well, look at it - five mountain finishes, just what Andy is good at, and only one, shortish, time trial. Excellent! In fact, very good indeed, as the time trial comes right at the end, by which time the usual TT specialists will be exhausted from the climbs, so they are unlikely to do spectacular times. Which means that Andy and Frankie will lose less time against them.
OK, he's going to be in a "new" team, and new teams usually have teething troubles, but at least he will be with management he trusts, a DS who knows him well, and team-mates that he already knows, so it will be a better "first" year than for many start-up teams.
Frankie sounds as though he is also all revved up and raring to go: he's obviously already tired of people asking him about the cobbled section (last time he rode it, he broke his collarbone) and he says "That is past. I have long since finished with this topic." *laughs* Go, Frankie!
Andy said:
"On Sunday if the sun is out I will start the first kilometre in preparation for next year. I will give it full throttle."
Fingers crossed, Schlecklanders one and all, for good weather in Luxembourg over the weekend.
At least, I assume that they are training in Luxembourg? *looks around, questioningly* Anyone know where they are training these days?
Oh, and hey, the Tour starts in England next year, hmm, Leeds: let me see, if they start at Leeds... and have to get back to the south coast for ferries, channel crossing etc... they'll have to come through the middle of the country... yes, there is a chance that I will be able to wave at Andy as he goes past!
Friday 25 October 2013
Wednesday 23 October 2013
Stinkoff gets the brush-off -yay!
Excellent news today for those of us who were horrified at the ranting, unpleasant tweets of nasty Mr Tinkoff, deeply disappointed at the way he dropped SaxoBank like a hot potato just because he didn't think they had won enough, and seriously worried at the idea of him transferring his lack of understanding of cycling over to the Cannondale Chipmunks.
Dorel, the company who own Cannondale, have increased their share of Cannondale, and negotiations with Stinkoff have apparently ceased.
Yay!
Yes, I realise that at a time like this, cycling needs all the sponsors it can get, but I really think that there is no place for sponsors like Mr Tinkoff and Mr Becca, who clearly don't know the difference between Investment (all together now - "money in, money out, hope to get more out than you put in") and Sponsorship ("money in, gone without a trace, but you get publicity in return").
In my opinion, based on what we've seen over the past couple of years, there really is no point in individuals sponsoring teams - unless your "name" is getting the benefit, your "brand" is getting the return in advertising/product placement, then eventually they are going to tire of just pouring in their own money. And, as we have seen repeatedly, they seem to think that they "own" the team and can therefore dictate who runs it, who rides, where they go, and what they do.
At a lower level, personal sponsorship can be a lovely philanthropic gesture, as seen in Nigel Mansell, who for several years has sponsored UK Youth, the British domestic professional team (as opposed to Pro-Team, that is). However, an individual will eventually come to the end of their budget, which is now happening, and although we are very grateful to Nigel Mansell for all his money, it's a bit disappointing that now they are closing down the team, unless a sponsor steps in at the last minute *hopeful look*
So, it's good news that Cannondale will continue to be professionally-sponsored, not individually-sponsored, and I hope they have a great year next year.
Dorel, the company who own Cannondale, have increased their share of Cannondale, and negotiations with Stinkoff have apparently ceased.
Yay!
Yes, I realise that at a time like this, cycling needs all the sponsors it can get, but I really think that there is no place for sponsors like Mr Tinkoff and Mr Becca, who clearly don't know the difference between Investment (all together now - "money in, money out, hope to get more out than you put in") and Sponsorship ("money in, gone without a trace, but you get publicity in return").
In my opinion, based on what we've seen over the past couple of years, there really is no point in individuals sponsoring teams - unless your "name" is getting the benefit, your "brand" is getting the return in advertising/product placement, then eventually they are going to tire of just pouring in their own money. And, as we have seen repeatedly, they seem to think that they "own" the team and can therefore dictate who runs it, who rides, where they go, and what they do.
At a lower level, personal sponsorship can be a lovely philanthropic gesture, as seen in Nigel Mansell, who for several years has sponsored UK Youth, the British domestic professional team (as opposed to Pro-Team, that is). However, an individual will eventually come to the end of their budget, which is now happening, and although we are very grateful to Nigel Mansell for all his money, it's a bit disappointing that now they are closing down the team, unless a sponsor steps in at the last minute *hopeful look*
So, it's good news that Cannondale will continue to be professionally-sponsored, not individually-sponsored, and I hope they have a great year next year.
Monday 21 October 2013
Andy ate a burger -big deal!
I just came across this -
Along with headlines screaming "Andy Schleck has relapse in Belgian Burger bar", or some similar rubbish.
This dates back to August of this year, so I'm well behind the times as usual, but it made me laugh while rolling my eyes, so I thought I'd share it with you.
The somewhat spiteful report seemed to be claiming that Andy has a long-standing problem with burger dependency, had promised not to eat them ever again, but was so weak that he broke his own promise and scoffed a burger.
The report is dated 12th August but there is no clue as to when the photo was taken, other than the fact that he's wearing current RadioShambles kit, so it could be any time in the last year.
Now, I'm sure that all you faithful Schlecklanders will remember the famous "lake" video, where Frankie gleefully describes how much meat they eat - "greeeasy meat, dirrrdy meat" - as part of their general training regime, and I would say that burgers definitely come into that category. So I can't quite see them being on a banned list, unless actually mid-race, perhaps.
And there is no proof anywhere in the report or the photo - taken by "our mobile reporter", or more likely, some Andy-hater with a mobile phone who thought they'd make a quick buck from selling the photo - that he's actually ordering burgers, he could just as easily be on a training ride and in need of a cold drink, or a coffee: or even just the use of the loos.
So I don't have a lot of respect for this report.
But hey, it's a picture of Andy that I haven't seen before, so it's worth sharing!
Along with headlines screaming "Andy Schleck has relapse in Belgian Burger bar", or some similar rubbish.
This dates back to August of this year, so I'm well behind the times as usual, but it made me laugh while rolling my eyes, so I thought I'd share it with you.
The somewhat spiteful report seemed to be claiming that Andy has a long-standing problem with burger dependency, had promised not to eat them ever again, but was so weak that he broke his own promise and scoffed a burger.
The report is dated 12th August but there is no clue as to when the photo was taken, other than the fact that he's wearing current RadioShambles kit, so it could be any time in the last year.
Now, I'm sure that all you faithful Schlecklanders will remember the famous "lake" video, where Frankie gleefully describes how much meat they eat - "greeeasy meat, dirrrdy meat" - as part of their general training regime, and I would say that burgers definitely come into that category. So I can't quite see them being on a banned list, unless actually mid-race, perhaps.
And there is no proof anywhere in the report or the photo - taken by "our mobile reporter", or more likely, some Andy-hater with a mobile phone who thought they'd make a quick buck from selling the photo - that he's actually ordering burgers, he could just as easily be on a training ride and in need of a cold drink, or a coffee: or even just the use of the loos.
So I don't have a lot of respect for this report.
But hey, it's a picture of Andy that I haven't seen before, so it's worth sharing!
Friday 18 October 2013
Chris Horner - you missed a few.
Once again, Chris "Mad Dog" Horner is in the cycling news, perpetuating the perception that he is just, ever so slight, bonkers.
No, I'm trying to be tactful, simply because he's been a team-mate of Andy and Frankie: in reality, he is completely bonkers. Ever heard him being interviewed, prior to the Vuelta? He is almost incomprehensible, despite having that lovely American fluency when he talks. In fact, it was his post-stage interviews in la Vuelta, rather than his staggering performance, that made me think he might be on drugs - not necessarily banned ones - as I've never heard him speak so sensibly before. But that's beside the point. Back to the news:
After winning la Vuelta, and conspicuously not being offered a new contract with Trek, or any other contracts for that matter, he recently released a series of odd tweets.
If you go to his Twitter account, and go back to the 7th October, you can read them all. They seem to be a series of descriptions of the things he has achieved, with the hash-tag "I did that" as though we are supposed to be so impressed with his great long list of sacrifices and setbacks, that we will rush to offer him a contract.
And as though every other pro cyclist out there hasn't suffered and sacrificed along the way..
The ones he missed were, of course:
You do realise that I made those ones up, of course.
And he's entirely overlooked the extremely well-known phenomenon whereby any rider having a really great, best ever season will have a totally crap following year. So by the time he's in any sort of position to earn his money, he'll be 43. What team is going to offer him a contract, now?
Velonation have a report on him today, in which it is stated that he has been disappointed not to be offered the high salary that he "deserves", which shows a disgraceful lack of appreciation for the state that cycling is in at the moment, with teams folding all around, and riders like de Gent (age 27, with years of winning ahead of him) having to take an 80% pay cut for a new contract, and being grateful to get it.
Not to mention his ungainly riding style - ever noticed it? He's bow-legged at the ankles.
And now his latest tweet is saying unequivocally that he will be riding for someone else next year, and thanking the RadioShambles team for their support in the past.
Perhaps he should consider writing a book - "How To Make Friends And Get A New Contract. Not. "
No, I'm trying to be tactful, simply because he's been a team-mate of Andy and Frankie: in reality, he is completely bonkers. Ever heard him being interviewed, prior to the Vuelta? He is almost incomprehensible, despite having that lovely American fluency when he talks. In fact, it was his post-stage interviews in la Vuelta, rather than his staggering performance, that made me think he might be on drugs - not necessarily banned ones - as I've never heard him speak so sensibly before. But that's beside the point. Back to the news:
After winning la Vuelta, and conspicuously not being offered a new contract with Trek, or any other contracts for that matter, he recently released a series of odd tweets.
If you go to his Twitter account, and go back to the 7th October, you can read them all. They seem to be a series of descriptions of the things he has achieved, with the hash-tag "I did that" as though we are supposed to be so impressed with his great long list of sacrifices and setbacks, that we will rush to offer him a contract.
And as though every other pro cyclist out there hasn't suffered and sacrificed along the way..
The ones he missed were, of course:
You do realise that I made those ones up, of course.
And he's entirely overlooked the extremely well-known phenomenon whereby any rider having a really great, best ever season will have a totally crap following year. So by the time he's in any sort of position to earn his money, he'll be 43. What team is going to offer him a contract, now?
Velonation have a report on him today, in which it is stated that he has been disappointed not to be offered the high salary that he "deserves", which shows a disgraceful lack of appreciation for the state that cycling is in at the moment, with teams folding all around, and riders like de Gent (age 27, with years of winning ahead of him) having to take an 80% pay cut for a new contract, and being grateful to get it.
Not to mention his ungainly riding style - ever noticed it? He's bow-legged at the ankles.
And now his latest tweet is saying unequivocally that he will be riding for someone else next year, and thanking the RadioShambles team for their support in the past.
Perhaps he should consider writing a book - "How To Make Friends And Get A New Contract. Not. "
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Tour of Beijing - Day Three
This day's coverage started in high good humour, as the Movistar team were seen tickling each other on the sign-in podium: there was much giggling and nudging of arms to prevent each other signing in:
Ah, *sigh* these carefree youngsters! Ah, *sigh*, what it is to have a firm sponsor commitment for next year!
I was pleased to see that today, the podium girly had managed to find some proper shoes, so her feet now appeared to be the right size for her body. She was doing a good job of getting the pens out and back again, although she didn't look over-warm in her strapless mini-dress: amongst the riders there were lots of gilets and armwarmers on show - not much of that "heat haze" today, eh, Carlton?
Our coverage begins with 48k to go, and we are told that Costa, in his rainbow jersey, did a proper job by taking part in the first sprint of the day. He only came third, but he got the jersey out there, and that's the main thing!
Today's break is very much the pro-teams, with an exciting fight for the KoM points, then another super swooping descent. I'm no cyclist, but even I can feel the urge to race downhill on those wide, perfectly tarmac-ed roads, with regular sweeping bends, no nasty surprises, and nice strong barriers.
("Frankie! Noooooo!")
The bends are so spectacular, with the road falling away below them, that the coverage just cries out for a motor-sport soundtrack, or a James Bond-style car chase. Magnus is again drooling, and no doubt regretting his retirement from road cycling...
Carlton comments on the lack of litter and graffiti ("if that long flat wall were anywhere else, it would be covered in graffiti by now.") just as LLB comments on the lack of crops, and of people.
Hmm, wonder if the two are connected?
Or is it more to do with the repressive regime out there? Carlton and Magnus spend some time discussing the difference between "officially sanctioned banners" such as the one we are now looking at on the top wall of a reservoir (which presumably says "admire our beautiful reservoir, built by the glorious empire for the benefit of all") (except those whose houses were drowned out by the rising water, of course, but that's a shortcoming of dams all over the world) and casual graffiti.
Mind you, when your language is written in ideograms, even graffiti looks lovely! For all we know it could be saying "Go home, cursed westerners" or worse. A thought which often comes to me when in Chinese restaurants - they have those delicate wall-hangings, beautiful to look at, but I always wonder if they actually say "die, pig-dog Englishers" or "we spit in your food, mwah ha ha!" or something like that.
During this discussion, the break was caught, and a new break went away, we have no idea how important this break is, as we have no idea how many kms there are still to go.
So we watch idly, until Adam Hansen of Lotto pings off the front and gets the last 3 second time bonus at the sprint point, and we are told there is 24k to go. We are also told that he, Adam, has ridden the last seven consecutive Grand Tours: all three this year, all three the year before, and the Vuelta the year before. That's quite an achievement!
Apparently he also makes his own cycling shoes: no, he doesn't sit cross-legged on the floor of the team bus, stitching away, he has designed his own range of carbon-fibre shoes. Well, why not - it seems logical that someone who participates in a sport would have the best idea of what they require from the kit, after all. And Dave Zabriskie - shamed ex doper, now retired - had his own range of chamois cream. Perhaps Andy will one day have his own range of helmets, with special tuft-enabled venting.
15k to go and Hansen is still out front all alone, starting on the final climb with just 40seconds on the peloton, and yes, he's wearing his self-made shoes, which might give him wings, but which don't prevent the peloton catching him 3k later.
10k to go and Tony Martin is thundering down the descent, with everyone making comparisons to his heart-breaking lone Vuelta breakaway, where he stayed out for 174km, but was caught within the last 100metres. He has won both the previous editions of this race, so presumably he thinks that he ought to at least make the effort.
This time, we are all pretty certain he'll be caught long before then, but it's good to see that he hasn't lost heart or confidence in himself, and off he goes, swinging smoothly round all those lovely easy bends, at what appears to be about a thousand miles an hour. However, appearances, or rather, camerabikes, are deceptive, and he never gets far ahead of the peloton, who sweep him up with 4k to go, and thunder on towards the finish.
It's a repeat of yesterday, and Bouhanni wins the day, and keeps the jersey.
Two more days to go, and we're off to the "mountains" tomorrow!
Tuesday 15 October 2013
Tour of Beijing - Day 2
This day's coverage started with the sign-in board again, and today they have blanked out the names, leaving just the numbers, after the confusion of yesterday.
Once again our commentators were rudely interrupted by the appalling and unrealistic travelogue, and poor Magnus Backstedt was chatting away, clearly not aware that we viewers were being forced to see faked pictures of China in the sun, with tinny music, instead of seeing the race and listening to his interesting comments.
Eventually it stopped, and we were presented with a break of five up the road, including De Ghent, he of the "80% pay cut but it's better than nothing so I'm grateful for it". We have no idea whereabouts in the race we are, as we once again have no on-screen graphics at all, so we just watch idly, listening out for coughing in the background - ah, it's Magnus's turn to be coughing today while the miles roll past.
The main climb of the day is a mere 5%, but it's clear that Magnus' earlier comments about riders being tired at the end of the long, long season is true, as even that modest climb splits the lead group of five riders into three groups.
At the summit, we get a sudden flash of a graphic, 47k to go, and they move into a long, sweeping, "easy" descent, which has Magnus drooling and wishing that he were still riding in the peloton, who - lead by BMC - quickly catch three of the original leaders , while the two in front appear to be relaxing, as they are sitting up and the gap is shrinking.
Suddenly - ooh! spectators! In the middle of nowhere, there is a neatly corralled bunch of them, all madly waving pink flags. Maybe it's a business of some kind, way out in the hills? A small commune of very unequal age distribution? A holiday camp? They seem happy, at any rate.
The two leaders are definitely slacking, and Bouet from AG2R, having hoovered up the last of the sprint points, decides he's had enough, and gives Kiesan from Lotto a great big shove on the back, to send him on his way.
We're not entirely sure, judging by the look on his face, that he actually intended to continue with a lone break: it's quite possible that he was hoping to sit up as well? But, with no choice, he pedals gamely off into the distance, while Bouet slows down and drops to the side of the road.
We all know what's coming, but does the camera bike? Apparently not, as we now get a lovely shot of Bouet having a natural break while we, along with Carlton, are shouting at the camera bike to pan away.
A short while later, the much relieved Bouet is swallowed by the peloton - oh look, more natural breaks - and Magnus discusses disc brakes on road bikes, and how they have been around for quite some time, but the UCI rules on bike equipment have lead to a stagnation in development. I could look this up for you in the UCI rules and regs, but frankly I can't bear to have my soul sucked out again, not when dear Brian Cookson is starting to work his way through, getting rid of some of the more ridiculous ones, like the one that states that women's cycling teams have an upper age limit of 28, for example. I will say right here and now that I am not the slightest bit interested in women's cycling, but it's staggering in this day and age that men can ride until they drop, but women have to stop at 28. That's not only sexist, arbitrary and insulting, it's senseless.
Anyway, back to the race... the pace is up, the peloton are flying, poor old Kiesan is going slower and slower. At 10k to go they have him in sight, he looks over his shoulder and sees them approaching, and sags with relief.
The last 4k is just one long big sprint, with various lead-out trains fighting it out: this time, FdJ get it right, and Bouhanni wins it, in full skinsuit and aero helmet, proving the point that the right kit does indeed make a difference!
Once again our commentators were rudely interrupted by the appalling and unrealistic travelogue, and poor Magnus Backstedt was chatting away, clearly not aware that we viewers were being forced to see faked pictures of China in the sun, with tinny music, instead of seeing the race and listening to his interesting comments.
Eventually it stopped, and we were presented with a break of five up the road, including De Ghent, he of the "80% pay cut but it's better than nothing so I'm grateful for it". We have no idea whereabouts in the race we are, as we once again have no on-screen graphics at all, so we just watch idly, listening out for coughing in the background - ah, it's Magnus's turn to be coughing today while the miles roll past.
The main climb of the day is a mere 5%, but it's clear that Magnus' earlier comments about riders being tired at the end of the long, long season is true, as even that modest climb splits the lead group of five riders into three groups.
At the summit, we get a sudden flash of a graphic, 47k to go, and they move into a long, sweeping, "easy" descent, which has Magnus drooling and wishing that he were still riding in the peloton, who - lead by BMC - quickly catch three of the original leaders , while the two in front appear to be relaxing, as they are sitting up and the gap is shrinking.
Suddenly - ooh! spectators! In the middle of nowhere, there is a neatly corralled bunch of them, all madly waving pink flags. Maybe it's a business of some kind, way out in the hills? A small commune of very unequal age distribution? A holiday camp? They seem happy, at any rate.
The two leaders are definitely slacking, and Bouet from AG2R, having hoovered up the last of the sprint points, decides he's had enough, and gives Kiesan from Lotto a great big shove on the back, to send him on his way.
We're not entirely sure, judging by the look on his face, that he actually intended to continue with a lone break: it's quite possible that he was hoping to sit up as well? But, with no choice, he pedals gamely off into the distance, while Bouet slows down and drops to the side of the road.
We all know what's coming, but does the camera bike? Apparently not, as we now get a lovely shot of Bouet having a natural break while we, along with Carlton, are shouting at the camera bike to pan away.
A short while later, the much relieved Bouet is swallowed by the peloton - oh look, more natural breaks - and Magnus discusses disc brakes on road bikes, and how they have been around for quite some time, but the UCI rules on bike equipment have lead to a stagnation in development. I could look this up for you in the UCI rules and regs, but frankly I can't bear to have my soul sucked out again, not when dear Brian Cookson is starting to work his way through, getting rid of some of the more ridiculous ones, like the one that states that women's cycling teams have an upper age limit of 28, for example. I will say right here and now that I am not the slightest bit interested in women's cycling, but it's staggering in this day and age that men can ride until they drop, but women have to stop at 28. That's not only sexist, arbitrary and insulting, it's senseless.
Anyway, back to the race... the pace is up, the peloton are flying, poor old Kiesan is going slower and slower. At 10k to go they have him in sight, he looks over his shoulder and sees them approaching, and sags with relief.
The last 4k is just one long big sprint, with various lead-out trains fighting it out: this time, FdJ get it right, and Bouhanni wins it, in full skinsuit and aero helmet, proving the point that the right kit does indeed make a difference!
Sunday 13 October 2013
Tour of Beijing - Day 1
Ah, the unlovely Tour of Beijing.
Created by the unlovely Mr McQuaid: shoved in after the end of the season, when everyone is tired and needing a rest; thousands of miles away from Europe and the centre of cycling (with apologies to the Tour Down Under); in a country with little understanding of pro cycling (First year - "no spectators will be allowed at the finish line") and a terrible, terrible smog problem.
Oh, and possessed of wide, flat, ie boring roads, and practically no hills.
Not exactly what we want to watch.
But *sigh* it's a UCI race, it has all the pro teams in it, so we may as well watch it, even though many teams have not sent a full complement, and most teams have not sent their big names.
The welcome ceremony seemed to go all right - the riders were up on a stage without bikes, and in trainers, so that must have been moderately comfortable for them. I always feel sorry for the riders, watching them having to clatter up steps in cycling shoes, carrying their bikes...
Movistar are there, we see Rui Costa proudly wearing the rainbow jersey of the Worlds: I wonder how he is going to enjoy it? The good side is that he will now be sent to all the big races, in fact to as many races as he can possibly manage (mental image of an exhausted Costa, with training wheels on his bike, being towed along by his team-mates with a musette), in order to get the jersey out there. The bad news is that every camera will be on him, so every weakness or failure will be well documented. Just look at poor PhillyGilly this year - didn't win a thing until about a fortnight ago.
Of course, the smiles on the Movistar management are a bit strained, as Costa is moving to Lampre for next year, so they won't get the benefit... maybe that's why Alex Dowsett is looking so glum. Err, no, he always looks like that. Cheer up, Alex!
Ah, there's Vacansoleil, their last appearance before the name change to Wanty (too many opportunities for mis-spelling that one) and the drop to Pro-Conti level.
Oh, and there's Euskaltel, another team under sentence of death - also Champion systems, the Chinese Pro-Conti team who are also folding at the end of the year.
Shack have sent just seven riders - no Andy, boo hiss - mind you, we still haven't heard what happened at the Giro de Lombardia. Andy was booked to start, our commentators made just one reference to him: "there was an early crash," they said, then "Andy Schleck has abandoned" but we never heard if it was due to the crash, or to a recurrence of the sinus infection that pulled him out of Milano-Torrino, or any other problem. The RadioShambles site doesn't even mention him in their own news report, which seems pretty mean, but then they do seem to be downplaying him as much as they can.
Anyway, getting back to Beijing: here's a nice picture of the arch at the start:
Anything strike you about this arch?
Organiser 1: "Right, let's get a nice big arch arranged for the start."
Organiser 2: "Errr, this is a UCI race, right?"
Organiser 1: "Well, yes, of course it is."
Organiser 2: "So all the pro teams will be here?"
Organiser 1: (somewhat impatiently) "Yes, all of them. Every single one."
Organiser 2: "Including O'Rica?"
Organiser 1: (long suffering tone) "Yeeeessssss."
Organiser 2: "OK let's go for the open topped arch then."
(pause)
Organiser 1: (briskly) "Very good. Open top arch. Well done."
At the sign-on, they even had a sort of podium girly, handing the pens to the riders and trying to get them back for the next person. She was wearing a fetching little red and white number, slightly tasteless in that it was strapless (which may be ok for evenings but looks odd during the day)(and on plump-shouldered bridesmaids, but that's just my opinion), and somewhat spoiled by her clunky shoes, which looked like trainers, and made her feet look enormous.
Richie Porte was seen approaching the sign-on board, going straight for the 151 slot, pausing, twisting himself round to read his own number, (yes, it was 151) looking back at the board in some confusion, as the team 15 numbers said Radioshack. Sky had been put at line 17, which was Saxo's numbers. Radioshack were actually team 14.
Oh dear.
He signed himself in on slot 151 anyway, so he's now riding for Radioshack.
There's no prologue, and no TT, we go straight into a day of racing, with the standard underwhelming start, for which "relaxed" is an understatement. Even been at the start of a race? The commentators do their best to whip everyone up into a state of high excitement, getting the crowd whooping and hollering, then someone fires a gun - in this case, three Chinese gentlemen fired guns simultaneously, all we needed was for a couple of dead pigeons to flutter down - and the riders lazily get onto their saddles, stop chatting over the barriers to spectators, finish signing autographs, and get under way in a leisurely manner. It's hard to explain this to non-fans.
Carlton Kirby is our commentator on Eurosport, along with Magnus Backstedt, and he puts the first nail in his coffin by referring to the "heat haze" that we can see. No, Carlton, it's smog.
We have barely got racing under way when the commentary is unceremoniously over-ridden by the first of the interminable travel adverts for China, showing unrealistic sunny, blue-sky weather and beautiful scenery, none of which we ever see in the background of the actual race footage.
It's a fairly normal flat day - a break of four riders gets away quite early, and stays out there for mile after mile. One of them is a Vacansoleil rider, we have no idea why he's make the effort other than to possibly get himself a contract with someone else next year. They cycle past miles and miles of bunting, just one single line of it: hardly any spectators, but lots of bunting. As always, I am amused to see that they paint the tree trunks at the roadside white to about chest height, presumably to save on street lighting for the cars.
Oh look, there's an Euskaltel rider having a natural break - LLB says "Are they allowed to do that in China?" I don't know, but I imagine there will be fines to pay later.
More bunting.
Suddenly we get a flash of a graphic on screen - 58k to go. Good to know. The four-man break are still out there, manfully pedalling - ooh! look! spectators! five of them! - and there is more bunting. One member of the break is Nishizone from Champion: another graphic pops up on screen, giving his name, but putting an Italian flag next to it. Hmm, he's Japanese. Carlton comments "the Japanese flag is not popular in China, for historical reasons." The graphics operator is either being very diplomatic, then, or is very incompetent.
As an aside, about the only good thing on this Tour is the "out and back" layout of the stages, such that the riders don't have to suffer great long transfers from hotel to hotel. In fact, I think that they are staying in the same hotels for the whole race, which must be quite a treat. Magnus describes at some length what a good thing this is, and also describes how most riders, at this time of year, would be wanting to wind down the mileage that they are racing, preferring the traditional end-of-season small one-day races, not a great long stage race like this one. It amuses me that even cyclists, who work in kms, refer to getting race miles in their legs, and in increasing or reducing their mileage. I guess there's no such a word as kilometerage.
Back to the race, and the peloton are doodling along, chatting merrily: I always find it interesting to watch them chatting, I always speculate about what they are saying (poor LLB, he has such a lot to put up with) and whether it could indicate transfers for next year.
There is yet more bunting, there seems to have been a single line of it almost the entire route so far, but it's only one side of the road - what we would call the off side. And by coincidence, the camera bike seems to be mostly sitting on the near side of the road, such that the bunting always appears in shot. Interesting.. something else that keeps appearing in shot is riders having a natural break, it's clear that the Chinese camerabikes don't know the protocol for discreetly turning away, or filming something else, or in desperate cases, pulling the focus. No, they just continue filming, and we are treated to several views of streams of pee.
Alex Dowsett displays again his terrible bidon-handling skills ( see Tour of Britain) as he bungs away a bidon, which bounces off some road furniture, pings back into the peloton and nearly takes down another rider. Oops.
At this point Carlton Kirby starts saying some very strange things about Mr Tinkoff - how good it is that he's staying in the sport, how great it is to meet people who are truly dedicated to cycling, what a good thing it is that Mr T is moving around within the sport, he uses the phrase "sharing the love" of cycling. Is he mad? Has he forgotten about the insane tweets, the insults, the huffy withdrawal of sponsorship right at the end of the season? I am beginning to wonder if this is all politically motivated, along with the insistence of calling the choking smog "heat haze".
The break has been down to three riders for some time, but we don't know what happened to number four, or how long it's been going on, as we don't have any on-screen graphics.
Aha, another natural break is caught on camera - oh dear, one of the smaller scattered groups of spectators is coming up fast, and one of them has a video camera - oh no! He's going to get more than he bargained for, as the peeing cyclists scoots past... let's hope they're wearing waterproof coats, eh?
What! No bunting?? We're suddenly told that there is 27k to go, we appear to be heading back into town as we are getting concrete underpasses, and they have apparently run out of bunting. The break have also run out of steam, and are swept up by the peloton, all except for the Lotto bloke, who makes a brave bid for freedom and the stage win.
The helicopter shot, no doubt intended to give us a glorious panorama of Beijing with the brave lone Lotto rider being pursued, instead reveals a thickening haze of smog over the city. At last Carlton admits that smog is a problem, but immediately goes on to say that it occurs mostly in cities like Shanghai. He's definitely getting paid off. And let's hope he spends it on cough medicine, as we can hear him coughing and hacking in the background every time he hands over to Magnus. LLB comments that Carlton is probably getting a lot of stick on Twitter for his comments on Tinkoff, and for not admitting to the smog problem!
15k to go, it says: the teams are clumping, the gap is dropping, there is no bunting, and no spectators, and Carlton is asking Magnus increasing complicated questions in order to get him to talk for longer, so that Carlton can have a good hack in the background.
At 10k to go there are suddenly more spectators, and oh look! remember them? The grim-faced green-uniformed guards standing in the road, facing outwards, to keep the spectators under control. They don't show images like that in the travelogue bits, do they?
It's going to be a bunch sprint, and it looks really dangerous, as the road is smooth, wide, flat, and dead straight. I know that sounds illogical, but anyone who's watched much cycling knows that a narrow, technical finish is safer, as it gets everyone well strung out, and leaves only the lead-out teams (ie the ones who know what they are doing) at the front.
And indeed it's a huge bunch sprint, and Thor gets it, after Carlton nearly chokes with excitement. Come on Carlton, get a grip, and get some cough mixture!
Created by the unlovely Mr McQuaid: shoved in after the end of the season, when everyone is tired and needing a rest; thousands of miles away from Europe and the centre of cycling (with apologies to the Tour Down Under); in a country with little understanding of pro cycling (First year - "no spectators will be allowed at the finish line") and a terrible, terrible smog problem.
Oh, and possessed of wide, flat, ie boring roads, and practically no hills.
Not exactly what we want to watch.
But *sigh* it's a UCI race, it has all the pro teams in it, so we may as well watch it, even though many teams have not sent a full complement, and most teams have not sent their big names.
The welcome ceremony seemed to go all right - the riders were up on a stage without bikes, and in trainers, so that must have been moderately comfortable for them. I always feel sorry for the riders, watching them having to clatter up steps in cycling shoes, carrying their bikes...
Movistar are there, we see Rui Costa proudly wearing the rainbow jersey of the Worlds: I wonder how he is going to enjoy it? The good side is that he will now be sent to all the big races, in fact to as many races as he can possibly manage (mental image of an exhausted Costa, with training wheels on his bike, being towed along by his team-mates with a musette), in order to get the jersey out there. The bad news is that every camera will be on him, so every weakness or failure will be well documented. Just look at poor PhillyGilly this year - didn't win a thing until about a fortnight ago.
Of course, the smiles on the Movistar management are a bit strained, as Costa is moving to Lampre for next year, so they won't get the benefit... maybe that's why Alex Dowsett is looking so glum. Err, no, he always looks like that. Cheer up, Alex!
Ah, there's Vacansoleil, their last appearance before the name change to Wanty (too many opportunities for mis-spelling that one) and the drop to Pro-Conti level.
Oh, and there's Euskaltel, another team under sentence of death - also Champion systems, the Chinese Pro-Conti team who are also folding at the end of the year.
Shack have sent just seven riders - no Andy, boo hiss - mind you, we still haven't heard what happened at the Giro de Lombardia. Andy was booked to start, our commentators made just one reference to him: "there was an early crash," they said, then "Andy Schleck has abandoned" but we never heard if it was due to the crash, or to a recurrence of the sinus infection that pulled him out of Milano-Torrino, or any other problem. The RadioShambles site doesn't even mention him in their own news report, which seems pretty mean, but then they do seem to be downplaying him as much as they can.
Anyway, getting back to Beijing: here's a nice picture of the arch at the start:
Organiser 1: "Right, let's get a nice big arch arranged for the start."
Organiser 2: "Errr, this is a UCI race, right?"
Organiser 1: "Well, yes, of course it is."
Organiser 2: "So all the pro teams will be here?"
Organiser 1: (somewhat impatiently) "Yes, all of them. Every single one."
Organiser 2: "Including O'Rica?"
Organiser 1: (long suffering tone) "Yeeeessssss."
Organiser 2: "OK let's go for the open topped arch then."
(pause)
Organiser 1: (briskly) "Very good. Open top arch. Well done."
At the sign-on, they even had a sort of podium girly, handing the pens to the riders and trying to get them back for the next person. She was wearing a fetching little red and white number, slightly tasteless in that it was strapless (which may be ok for evenings but looks odd during the day)(and on plump-shouldered bridesmaids, but that's just my opinion), and somewhat spoiled by her clunky shoes, which looked like trainers, and made her feet look enormous.
Richie Porte was seen approaching the sign-on board, going straight for the 151 slot, pausing, twisting himself round to read his own number, (yes, it was 151) looking back at the board in some confusion, as the team 15 numbers said Radioshack. Sky had been put at line 17, which was Saxo's numbers. Radioshack were actually team 14.
Oh dear.
He signed himself in on slot 151 anyway, so he's now riding for Radioshack.
There's no prologue, and no TT, we go straight into a day of racing, with the standard underwhelming start, for which "relaxed" is an understatement. Even been at the start of a race? The commentators do their best to whip everyone up into a state of high excitement, getting the crowd whooping and hollering, then someone fires a gun - in this case, three Chinese gentlemen fired guns simultaneously, all we needed was for a couple of dead pigeons to flutter down - and the riders lazily get onto their saddles, stop chatting over the barriers to spectators, finish signing autographs, and get under way in a leisurely manner. It's hard to explain this to non-fans.
Carlton Kirby is our commentator on Eurosport, along with Magnus Backstedt, and he puts the first nail in his coffin by referring to the "heat haze" that we can see. No, Carlton, it's smog.
We have barely got racing under way when the commentary is unceremoniously over-ridden by the first of the interminable travel adverts for China, showing unrealistic sunny, blue-sky weather and beautiful scenery, none of which we ever see in the background of the actual race footage.
It's a fairly normal flat day - a break of four riders gets away quite early, and stays out there for mile after mile. One of them is a Vacansoleil rider, we have no idea why he's make the effort other than to possibly get himself a contract with someone else next year. They cycle past miles and miles of bunting, just one single line of it: hardly any spectators, but lots of bunting. As always, I am amused to see that they paint the tree trunks at the roadside white to about chest height, presumably to save on street lighting for the cars.
Oh look, there's an Euskaltel rider having a natural break - LLB says "Are they allowed to do that in China?" I don't know, but I imagine there will be fines to pay later.
More bunting.
Suddenly we get a flash of a graphic on screen - 58k to go. Good to know. The four-man break are still out there, manfully pedalling - ooh! look! spectators! five of them! - and there is more bunting. One member of the break is Nishizone from Champion: another graphic pops up on screen, giving his name, but putting an Italian flag next to it. Hmm, he's Japanese. Carlton comments "the Japanese flag is not popular in China, for historical reasons." The graphics operator is either being very diplomatic, then, or is very incompetent.
As an aside, about the only good thing on this Tour is the "out and back" layout of the stages, such that the riders don't have to suffer great long transfers from hotel to hotel. In fact, I think that they are staying in the same hotels for the whole race, which must be quite a treat. Magnus describes at some length what a good thing this is, and also describes how most riders, at this time of year, would be wanting to wind down the mileage that they are racing, preferring the traditional end-of-season small one-day races, not a great long stage race like this one. It amuses me that even cyclists, who work in kms, refer to getting race miles in their legs, and in increasing or reducing their mileage. I guess there's no such a word as kilometerage.
Back to the race, and the peloton are doodling along, chatting merrily: I always find it interesting to watch them chatting, I always speculate about what they are saying (poor LLB, he has such a lot to put up with) and whether it could indicate transfers for next year.
There is yet more bunting, there seems to have been a single line of it almost the entire route so far, but it's only one side of the road - what we would call the off side. And by coincidence, the camera bike seems to be mostly sitting on the near side of the road, such that the bunting always appears in shot. Interesting.. something else that keeps appearing in shot is riders having a natural break, it's clear that the Chinese camerabikes don't know the protocol for discreetly turning away, or filming something else, or in desperate cases, pulling the focus. No, they just continue filming, and we are treated to several views of streams of pee.
Alex Dowsett displays again his terrible bidon-handling skills ( see Tour of Britain) as he bungs away a bidon, which bounces off some road furniture, pings back into the peloton and nearly takes down another rider. Oops.
At this point Carlton Kirby starts saying some very strange things about Mr Tinkoff - how good it is that he's staying in the sport, how great it is to meet people who are truly dedicated to cycling, what a good thing it is that Mr T is moving around within the sport, he uses the phrase "sharing the love" of cycling. Is he mad? Has he forgotten about the insane tweets, the insults, the huffy withdrawal of sponsorship right at the end of the season? I am beginning to wonder if this is all politically motivated, along with the insistence of calling the choking smog "heat haze".
The break has been down to three riders for some time, but we don't know what happened to number four, or how long it's been going on, as we don't have any on-screen graphics.
Aha, another natural break is caught on camera - oh dear, one of the smaller scattered groups of spectators is coming up fast, and one of them has a video camera - oh no! He's going to get more than he bargained for, as the peeing cyclists scoots past... let's hope they're wearing waterproof coats, eh?
What! No bunting?? We're suddenly told that there is 27k to go, we appear to be heading back into town as we are getting concrete underpasses, and they have apparently run out of bunting. The break have also run out of steam, and are swept up by the peloton, all except for the Lotto bloke, who makes a brave bid for freedom and the stage win.
The helicopter shot, no doubt intended to give us a glorious panorama of Beijing with the brave lone Lotto rider being pursued, instead reveals a thickening haze of smog over the city. At last Carlton admits that smog is a problem, but immediately goes on to say that it occurs mostly in cities like Shanghai. He's definitely getting paid off. And let's hope he spends it on cough medicine, as we can hear him coughing and hacking in the background every time he hands over to Magnus. LLB comments that Carlton is probably getting a lot of stick on Twitter for his comments on Tinkoff, and for not admitting to the smog problem!
15k to go, it says: the teams are clumping, the gap is dropping, there is no bunting, and no spectators, and Carlton is asking Magnus increasing complicated questions in order to get him to talk for longer, so that Carlton can have a good hack in the background.
At 10k to go there are suddenly more spectators, and oh look! remember them? The grim-faced green-uniformed guards standing in the road, facing outwards, to keep the spectators under control. They don't show images like that in the travelogue bits, do they?
It's going to be a bunch sprint, and it looks really dangerous, as the road is smooth, wide, flat, and dead straight. I know that sounds illogical, but anyone who's watched much cycling knows that a narrow, technical finish is safer, as it gets everyone well strung out, and leaves only the lead-out teams (ie the ones who know what they are doing) at the front.
And indeed it's a huge bunch sprint, and Thor gets it, after Carlton nearly chokes with excitement. Come on Carlton, get a grip, and get some cough mixture!
Tuesday 8 October 2013
Stinkoff and Cannondale? Surely not!
Lots of rumours recently that nasty Mr Tinkoff - yes, he of the weird abusive and homophobic tweets, who suddenly pulled out of sponsoring Saxo Bank because Contador didn't win anything much this year - instead of starting his own new pro-team, as he had petulantly claimed, was going to join in sponsoring Cannondale.
Bad news, we all said.
Don't touch him! we all said.
He's bonkers! we all said.
Cannondale were denying everything earlier this week, then suddenly Mr Tinkoff was quoted as saying that it was true.
I considered this to be seriously bad news - I mean, the man has shown himself to be another of these results-focussed, not-serious-about-cycling rich people who have failed to understand the difference between Sponsorship (basically money down the drain, in return for publicity) and Investment (money in, money out: hopefully more out than you put in).
Just like dear Mr Becca. And possibly Mr Alonso, we don't know yet.
I know that the Cannondale Gerbils - no, not gerbils, what are those ratty things with stripes down their backs? Oh yes, chipmunks - ok, the Cannondale Chipmunks, are short of a sponsor and therefore looking for more money, but really, guys, come on: you can do better than Mr Tinkoff.
Then yesterday LLB told me that he'd read a report quoting Peter "More fun than a jammy dodger" Sagan as saying that if Mr Tinkoff came on board, he would be off.
Great stuff! Well done, Petter! He has now been promoted to definite Honorary Schlecklander, for standing up against proven bad behaviour and irresponsible sponsorship.
Incidentally, I do wonder why Peter Sagan is pronounced Petter, while Peta Todd (Cav's wife) is spelt Petter, but pronounced Peeeter.
It's the little things that intrigue me...
Anyway, back to Cannondale - no official news either way this morning, but I shall be watching wiht interest to see who denies what, next.
Bad news, we all said.
Don't touch him! we all said.
He's bonkers! we all said.
Cannondale were denying everything earlier this week, then suddenly Mr Tinkoff was quoted as saying that it was true.
I considered this to be seriously bad news - I mean, the man has shown himself to be another of these results-focussed, not-serious-about-cycling rich people who have failed to understand the difference between Sponsorship (basically money down the drain, in return for publicity) and Investment (money in, money out: hopefully more out than you put in).
Just like dear Mr Becca. And possibly Mr Alonso, we don't know yet.
I know that the Cannondale Gerbils - no, not gerbils, what are those ratty things with stripes down their backs? Oh yes, chipmunks - ok, the Cannondale Chipmunks, are short of a sponsor and therefore looking for more money, but really, guys, come on: you can do better than Mr Tinkoff.
Then yesterday LLB told me that he'd read a report quoting Peter "More fun than a jammy dodger" Sagan as saying that if Mr Tinkoff came on board, he would be off.
Great stuff! Well done, Petter! He has now been promoted to definite Honorary Schlecklander, for standing up against proven bad behaviour and irresponsible sponsorship.
Incidentally, I do wonder why Peter Sagan is pronounced Petter, while Peta Todd (Cav's wife) is spelt Petter, but pronounced Peeeter.
It's the little things that intrigue me...
Anyway, back to Cannondale - no official news either way this morning, but I shall be watching wiht interest to see who denies what, next.
Sunday 6 October 2013
Trek Factory Racing - seriously?
Wow, that's a catchy name for a team - not!
I'm hoping that Trek will come up something a little more stylish before they get the kit printed....
The UCI have announced the list of teams requesting Pro-team status, and would you believe it, there are exactly 18 teams applying for 18 places.
That should work out quite neatly, then, shouldn't it? Assuming that the Dark Lords are granted pro status again without all last year's faffing about, that is.
We never did get the full story about that, but rumour has it that it was to do with their ridiculously over-inflated travel budget - figures of 27 million euros were mentioned, compared to the mere 23 million which Team Sky spend on their entire operation - and the suggestion was that money-laundering was involved.
At least it was nothing to do with doping!
Unlike poor old Jonathon Tiernan-Locke, whose Biological passport shows irregularities after last year's Tour of Britain, but which only, mysteriously, came to light a couple of days before the British Cycling guy, Brian Cookson, was going up against Pat McQuaid in the UCI elections. Suspicious timing, huh? Make the UK guy look bad, huh? And who is JTL's manager, we ask ourselves? Oh yes, McQuaid's son. How very odd.
Leaving all that aside, Andy's been in the news again, for all the wrong reasons, *sigh* when he withdrew from Milano-Torino with a sinus infection. At least this time he didn't start, as opposed to DNF! *laughs* Yes, we have to be able to laugh at these things - although I bet he's not laughing much these days, poor boy.
So, OGL is booked to appear in Il Lombardie today, so fingers crossed that all goes well for him, and let's see a few of those Lux Ensign flags waving out there on the course - I've really missed seeing them along the course. I don't expect he'll be winning the race, but it would be good to see him pedalling well again.
That leaves just the Tour of Beijing *cough splutter* and the season is officially over, and hopefully we can look forward to a much, much better new year.
But really, Trek Factory Racing? Factory Racing? Might as well have "presented by" tacked on the back of it - sounds like a continental team, not a top level Pro Team. *sigh*
I'm hoping that Trek will come up something a little more stylish before they get the kit printed....
The UCI have announced the list of teams requesting Pro-team status, and would you believe it, there are exactly 18 teams applying for 18 places.
That should work out quite neatly, then, shouldn't it? Assuming that the Dark Lords are granted pro status again without all last year's faffing about, that is.
We never did get the full story about that, but rumour has it that it was to do with their ridiculously over-inflated travel budget - figures of 27 million euros were mentioned, compared to the mere 23 million which Team Sky spend on their entire operation - and the suggestion was that money-laundering was involved.
At least it was nothing to do with doping!
Unlike poor old Jonathon Tiernan-Locke, whose Biological passport shows irregularities after last year's Tour of Britain, but which only, mysteriously, came to light a couple of days before the British Cycling guy, Brian Cookson, was going up against Pat McQuaid in the UCI elections. Suspicious timing, huh? Make the UK guy look bad, huh? And who is JTL's manager, we ask ourselves? Oh yes, McQuaid's son. How very odd.
Leaving all that aside, Andy's been in the news again, for all the wrong reasons, *sigh* when he withdrew from Milano-Torino with a sinus infection. At least this time he didn't start, as opposed to DNF! *laughs* Yes, we have to be able to laugh at these things - although I bet he's not laughing much these days, poor boy.
So, OGL is booked to appear in Il Lombardie today, so fingers crossed that all goes well for him, and let's see a few of those Lux Ensign flags waving out there on the course - I've really missed seeing them along the course. I don't expect he'll be winning the race, but it would be good to see him pedalling well again.
That leaves just the Tour of Beijing *cough splutter* and the season is officially over, and hopefully we can look forward to a much, much better new year.
But really, Trek Factory Racing? Factory Racing? Might as well have "presented by" tacked on the back of it - sounds like a continental team, not a top level Pro Team. *sigh*
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