Happy New Year, Andy and Jil!

Well spotted, Schlecklanders - Our Andy is back on Twitter, and very kindly posted this lovely pic of himself and TinkerJil:






He's looking so happy,  she's looking gorgeous (and turning into Olivia Wilde, which is no bad thing!) and there's that Baby Bump for all to see.

And yes, there is still that delicate little ring on her third finger - we would have liked to have seen a hulking great wedding ring, but all things will come in time.

In answer to the question, I don't think it's a specific custom in Lux to have the wedding after the baby,  it's just that Frankie and Martine did it - they had their civil wedding on the New Year, quietly and privately, then had the beautiful big white dress day the following summer, after Leea was born.  So it's entirely possible that Andy and TinkerJil might do the same: it's their business, not ours, but yes, I would like to see them married.

And thank you, Barbara, for reminding us of that old Schleckland post: there was Martine on her "proper" wedding day, looking fabulous, holding a bouquet in one hand and baby Leea in the other, and I was cheeky enough to make a comment about Martine looking lovely, while repeating under her breath "hold baby, throw bouquet: HOLD baby, THROW bouquet".

Well, I thought it was funny!

It will be New Year in a couple of days' time, so here's best wishes to Andy and Jil, to all the Schlecklanders, and to all the riders, for a happy, prosperous and drug-free new year! (Oh, except for Jil, of course - she's allowed to have whatever she wants to get through the birth!!)

Merry Christmas, Andy!

Yes, Schlecklanders, it's that time of year - it's nearly Christmas, it's nearly the new season, and we haven't had any cycling to watch for weeks and weeks.

The transfer season has been the strangest ever, with no-one daring to leave a team which still has sponsors, meanwhile the remaining teams are hanging on and hanging on about making offers, in order to get the best possible bargain.

Even Sky "Huge Budget" Procycling have only announced a ream roster of 25: makes you wonder if they are waiting for a last-minute bargain somewhere.

We even have a rider who won a Grand Tour last year, without a contract for next year! (Mad Dog Horner, that is.)

Still, we can put all that behind us for now, and turn our thoughts away from racing, and towards the personal side of it all - with very best Schleckland wishes to Our Andy for a super, super Christmas.

Tinkerjil must be getting pretty "round" by now, with the new baby due about March/April time, we think - and the pair of them must be so excited. This time next year, they'll be having their first Christmas as a family - d'aaaw!

Hey Andy, if  you don't know what to get Jil for a gift - get her a wedding ring! Go on, do the right thing, do what Frankie and Martine did: nice quiet civil wedding now, then after the baby arrives, have a big summer outdoor "do" so that we can all come and throw gel wrappers confetti at you. (This is not an idle threat, I do have a passport now.) It's the right thing to do - avoids all that business with children not having the same surname as their parents, which is just confusing...

Christmas wishes also to Frankie and Martine:  he'll be off to the Tour Down Under in a few weeks (*waves to Leelu*) with Jensie,  can't wait to see the new kit - so go, Frankie, go! Stay, Jensie, stay!

And to all Schlecklanders past, present, and future, Have a Super Super Christmas!

Love to all of you,

Auntie Coug

Training can be a bit - "boar"ing

Frankie, mate, I hate to sound critical but I think you've been eating too much during your recent break from racing...

Stinkoff takeover - oh no!

Bad news today, it seems that Mr "Froth at the Mouth on Twitter" "Slightly Insane" Tinkov has actually bought out Uncle Bjarne, and will be taking over team Saxo Bank.

It's been rumoured for a couple of days, and there's going to be an announcement on Monday, apparently.

This is utterly  unwelcome news - as we all know, Tinkov is one of those Becca-style rich blokes, who knows something, but not quite enough, about how cycling works, and who knows nothing about the difference between Investment (put money in, get money out, preferably more than you put in) and Sponsorship (put money in, never see it again, but get kudos and publicity).

He's already spoiled the end of this season for Saxo, by throwing his toys out of the pram at Contador's "failure" to beat Frome at the Tour, and announcing that he - and his money - would be leaving the team. This threw them into a panicky search for another sponsor, at a time when sponsors are disappearing into the dust, and at a time when Uncle Bjarne himself is coming under scrutiny for his doping past.

Tinkov tried to buy into a couple of other teams, but failed: then he announced that he would build his own team, so there, nar nar nar nar: and now he's decided to buy Saxo for himself.

I can't imagine that this is going to end well.

Can you?

Lots of baby Schlecks!

As mentioned this morning, I can't answer any comments - wah! What on earth are google up to, I wonder?

Anyway, in answer to the comments on A New Schleck on the way,  I have this to say:

Frankie's own Twitter, huh, Brisbane Gal? Yes, I think that would count as a "good source" for the information!

I haven't so much as looked at Twitter in weeks, err, possibly months: I just haven't had the time. Work, work, work... and I finally had to buy a new pc, as the old one's operating system was no longer supported, plus I was finding it a bit tiring to have to keep turning the big handle on the side to get it to go.  And it's taking me forever to get it up and running properly, as every single thing I want to do is now a different version, many years improved from the versions I've been using, and therefore completely different. *sigh* So I haven't had much time for "playing" about on Twitter etc.

Midge! Hey! *big Schlecklander hug* Wow, thanks for that link, what a super interview. Wish Andy would give one that long, ha ha!  As my French is pretty rusty, I ran it through google translate and some of it was hilarious, if not quite what was intended...

And yes, more amusement, the new baby is due on Leea's birthday, which could be interpreted to say that they only get together once a year, on the same day... no! Only joking! Also, I note the confirmation that Jil is indeed expecting,  so yay! for them as well - and for older brother Steve. My goodness, the average number of Schlecks in Luxembourg is suddenly going to rise steeply, isn't it?

We'd better all start knitting baby clothes - if only we knew what the new team's colours are going to be...

A new Schleck on the way?

Great news! And thanks to Brisbane Gal for mentioning it on the last post, as I hadn't heard it myself - so, is it true that Frankie and Martine are having a second baby?

I do hope so, it's about the right time for Leea to have a little sister or brother - oh, probably a little brother, as Frankie hasn't been racing much in the past year.

Sorry, what was that?  Why do I say that?

Well - settle down now, children - a lot of cyclist subscribe to the theory which says that babies conceived during the heavy workload of a major Tour, or the middle of a busy season, are more likely to be girls, as the father is using up all his testosterone on racing.

It certainly worked for Marky Mark (Cav) as his little girl was conceived mid-Tour.

I don't think there has ever been any proper scientific research into the idea, which is odd, as it seems like quite an easy one to check. For as start, we could ask if Jensie would consent to comment on the idea - after all, he has a good number of test subjects to check on!

Anyway, this could be a new little brother then, a new nephew for Andy, and another cousin for Andy and TinkerJil's expected baby.

D'aaw!

I guess the only downside is that both families will be buying new baby clothes, instead of being able to pass them around.. or no, thinking about it, if TinkerJil is due in March, they might be able to economise by using Leea's outgrown clothes, then passing them back to Martine for her new baby a couple of months later... ah, it could all work out very well indeed!

Well, I have trawled the cycling news and not found any mention of it, but that's not surprising as the cycling journos have been very reticent to mention either Our Andy or Frankie (unless they can get the "D" word into the headline, of course) lately.

But we just have to hang on for a new more weeks - soon, we should start seeing leaked examples of the new team kit, and lists of the riders, and so on. So keep your eyes out, Schlecklanders, and do feel free to report back with any news that you spot!  I'm having a slightly strange problem with this blog at present, I can't respond to any of your comments directly, other than as "Anonymous" which would be a bit odd.  And might lead to certain people (you know who you are) pretending to be me, and getting me in trouble with the Andyhab overseers. So please don't be miffed if I don't respond to your comments! 

Rasmussen is a nasty little man...

...but I think we already knew that, didn't we?

He's the one they sometimes refer to as "the chicken", not because he is as skinny as a dead plucked chicken, and looks a bit like one, but (according to Wikipedia) because it was a nickname he was given during his early career. Like we cared.

He has a significant doping history, he's been banned, sacked, and sent home in disgrace a few times, and in the last year or two he's been trying to get back into cycling via a Continental team, then by trying to get into management, but he's been thwarted at every turn.

He's just released another book, in which he "outed" Ryder Hesjedal for doping over ten years ago.

What a git!

OK, I'm very disappointed in Hesjedal, and there won't be any more jokes about Mechanic Hesjedal etc, but for heaven's sake, it was ten years ago, Ryder can't be punished for it now, but he can be - and has been - shamed in front of everyone.  And what does this Rasmussen person get from it? A smug feeling of having dropped someone else in it, while getting lots of publicity for his book.

I think that's pretty despicable.

Laughably, though, it has backfired horribly, as not many people turned up to Rasmussen's book signing event in Denmark last week. How many, you ask? Have a guess. Couple of hundred? Nope. Couple of dozen? Nope. Just three. Three!  Bet the book-shop owner was mortified... and I certainly hope that Rasmussen was humiliated and laughed out of the shop by the crowd of media who turned up to film the event.

And as for Hesjedal.. well, ok it was a long time ago, he's very sorry, won't do it again, blah blah blah, but I would have thought more of him if he'd come clean about it while other members of Garmin-Sharp - Zabriskie, Danielson and Vande Velde - have been admitting it, helping the authorities with info, and taking their 6-month bans.

How can Hesjedal have sat there, watching his team-mates confess and be punished, and say nothing, knowing that he was as guilty as they were? OK, they were specifically being investigated by USADA as part of the Postal scandal, and Hesjedal is neither American (he's Canadian) nor a former Postal rider, but still, don't you think that that would have been the time to speak up, and get it over and done with?

I suppose, going back to the Rasmussen creature, that maybe this round of revelations might scare any other long-time-since dopers into coming out and saying it now, rather than skulking on in fear of exposure.  Would it scare you into confessing, if you'd been getting away with it for ten years or more? Is it better to have everyone confess and get it over with, or would another round of mass confession be even worse for cycling?

Sun on Sunday - fingers crossed!

At  last, a news report that made me smile!

This morning, Velonation are carrying a very encouraging report on Our Andy, in which he says that next year's Tour is going to be good for him.

Well, look at it - five mountain finishes, just what Andy is good at, and only one, shortish, time trial. Excellent! In fact, very good indeed, as the time trial comes right at the end, by which time the usual TT specialists will be exhausted from the climbs, so they are unlikely to do spectacular times. Which means that Andy and Frankie will lose less time against them.

OK, he's going to be in a "new" team, and new teams usually have teething troubles, but at least he will be with management he trusts, a DS who knows him well, and team-mates that he already knows,  so it will be a better "first" year than for many start-up teams.

Frankie sounds as though he is also all revved up and raring to go: he's obviously already tired of people asking him about the cobbled section (last time he rode it, he broke his collarbone) and he says "That is past. I have long since finished with this topic."  *laughs*  Go, Frankie!

Andy said:
 
"On Sunday if the sun is out I will start the first kilometre in preparation for next year. I will give it full throttle."

Fingers crossed, Schlecklanders one and all, for good weather in Luxembourg over the weekend.

At least, I assume that they are training in Luxembourg? *looks around, questioningly* Anyone know where they are training these days?

Oh, and hey, the Tour starts in England next year, hmm, Leeds: let me see, if they start at Leeds... and have to get back to the south coast for ferries, channel crossing etc... they'll have to come through the middle of the country... yes, there is a chance that I will be able to wave at Andy as he goes past!

Stinkoff gets the brush-off -yay!

Excellent news today for those of us who were horrified at the ranting, unpleasant tweets of nasty Mr Tinkoff, deeply disappointed at the way he dropped SaxoBank like a hot potato just because he didn't think they had won enough, and seriously worried at the idea of him transferring his lack of understanding of cycling over to the Cannondale Chipmunks.

Dorel, the company who own Cannondale, have increased their share of Cannondale, and negotiations with Stinkoff have apparently ceased.

Yay!

Yes, I realise that at a time like this, cycling needs all the sponsors it can get, but I really think that there is no place for sponsors like Mr Tinkoff and Mr Becca, who clearly don't know the difference between Investment (all together now - "money in, money out, hope to get more out than you put in") and Sponsorship ("money in, gone without a trace, but you get publicity in return").

In  my opinion, based on what we've seen over the past couple of years, there really is no point in individuals sponsoring teams - unless your "name" is getting the benefit, your "brand" is getting  the return in advertising/product placement, then eventually they are going to tire of just pouring in their own money. And, as we have seen repeatedly, they seem to think that they "own" the team and can therefore dictate who runs it, who rides, where they go, and what they do.

At a lower level, personal sponsorship can be a lovely philanthropic gesture, as seen in Nigel Mansell, who for several years has sponsored UK Youth, the British domestic professional team (as opposed to Pro-Team, that is). However, an individual will eventually come to the end of their budget, which is now happening, and although we are very grateful to Nigel Mansell for all his money, it's a bit disappointing that now they are closing down the team, unless a sponsor steps in at the last minute *hopeful look*

So, it's good news that Cannondale will continue to be professionally-sponsored, not individually-sponsored, and I hope they have a great year next year.

Andy ate a burger -big deal!

I just came across this -

Along with headlines screaming "Andy Schleck has relapse in Belgian Burger bar", or some similar rubbish.

This dates back to August of this year, so I'm well behind the times as usual, but it made me laugh while rolling my eyes, so I thought I'd share it with you.

The somewhat spiteful report seemed to be claiming that Andy has a long-standing problem with burger dependency, had promised not to eat them ever again, but was so weak that he broke his own promise and scoffed a burger.

The report is dated 12th August but there is no clue as to when the photo was taken, other than the fact that he's wearing current RadioShambles kit, so it could be any time in the last year.

Now, I'm sure that all you faithful Schlecklanders will remember the famous "lake" video, where Frankie gleefully describes how much meat they eat - "greeeasy meat, dirrrdy meat" - as part of their general training regime, and I would say that burgers definitely come into that category. So I can't quite see them being on a banned list, unless actually mid-race, perhaps.

And there is no proof anywhere in the report or the photo - taken by "our mobile reporter", or more likely, some Andy-hater with a mobile phone who thought they'd make a quick buck from selling the photo - that he's actually ordering burgers, he could just as easily be on a training ride and in need of a cold drink, or a coffee: or even just the use of the loos.

So I don't have a lot of respect for this report.

But hey, it's a picture of Andy that I haven't seen before, so it's worth sharing!

Chris Horner - you missed a few.

Once again, Chris "Mad Dog" Horner is in the cycling news, perpetuating the perception that he is just, ever so slight, bonkers.

No, I'm trying to be tactful, simply because he's been a team-mate of Andy and Frankie: in reality, he is completely bonkers. Ever heard him being interviewed, prior to the Vuelta? He is almost incomprehensible, despite having that lovely American fluency when he talks. In fact, it was his post-stage interviews in la Vuelta, rather than his staggering performance, that made me think he might be on drugs - not necessarily banned ones - as I've never heard him speak so sensibly before. But that's beside the point. Back to the news:

After winning la Vuelta, and conspicuously not being offered a new contract with Trek, or any other contracts for that matter, he recently released a series of odd tweets.

If you go to his Twitter account, and go back to the 7th October, you can read them all. They seem to be a series of descriptions of the things he has achieved, with the hash-tag "I did that" as though we are supposed to be so impressed with his great long list of sacrifices and setbacks, that we will rush to offer him a contract.

And as though every other pro cyclist out there hasn't suffered and sacrificed along the way..

The ones he missed were, of course:

You do realise that I made those ones up, of course.

And he's entirely overlooked the extremely well-known phenomenon whereby any rider having a really great, best ever season will have a totally crap following year. So by the time he's in any sort of position to earn his money, he'll be 43.  What team is going to offer him a contract, now?

Velonation have a report on him today, in which it is stated that he has been disappointed not to be offered the high salary that he "deserves", which shows a disgraceful lack of appreciation for the state that cycling is in at the moment, with teams folding all around, and riders like de Gent (age 27, with years of winning ahead of him) having to take an 80% pay cut for a new contract, and being grateful to get it.

Not to mention his ungainly riding style - ever noticed it? He's bow-legged at the ankles.

And now his latest tweet is saying unequivocally that he will be riding for someone else next year, and thanking the RadioShambles team for their support in the past.

Perhaps he should consider writing a book - "How To Make Friends And Get A New Contract. Not. "

Tour of Beijing - Day Three

This day's coverage started in high good humour, as the Movistar team were seen tickling each other on the sign-in podium: there was much giggling and nudging of arms to prevent each other signing in:

Ah, *sigh* these carefree youngsters!  Ah, *sigh*, what it is to have a firm sponsor commitment for next year!

I was pleased to see that today, the podium girly had managed to find some proper shoes, so her feet now appeared to be the right size for her body. She was doing a good job of getting the pens out and back again, although she didn't look over-warm in her strapless mini-dress: amongst the riders there were lots of gilets and armwarmers on show - not much of that "heat haze" today, eh, Carlton?

Our coverage begins with 48k to go, and we are told that Costa, in his rainbow jersey, did a proper job by taking part in the first sprint of the day.  He only came third, but he got the jersey out there, and that's the main thing!

Today's break is very much the pro-teams, with an exciting fight for the KoM points, then another super swooping descent.  I'm no cyclist, but even I can feel the urge to race downhill on those wide, perfectly tarmac-ed roads, with regular sweeping bends, no nasty surprises, and nice strong barriers.

("Frankie! Noooooo!")

The bends are so spectacular, with the road falling away below them, that the coverage just cries out for a motor-sport soundtrack, or a James Bond-style car chase. Magnus is again drooling, and no doubt regretting his retirement from road cycling...

Carlton comments on the lack of litter and graffiti ("if that long flat wall were anywhere else, it would be covered in graffiti by now.") just as LLB comments on the lack of crops, and of people.

Hmm, wonder if the two are connected?

Or is it more to do with the repressive regime out there? Carlton and Magnus spend some time discussing the difference between "officially sanctioned banners" such as the one we are now looking at on the top wall of a reservoir (which presumably says "admire our beautiful reservoir, built by the glorious empire for the benefit of all") (except those whose houses were drowned out by the rising water, of course, but that's a shortcoming of dams all over the world) and casual graffiti.

Mind you, when your language is written in ideograms, even graffiti looks lovely! For all we know it could be saying "Go home, cursed westerners" or worse. A thought which often comes to me when in Chinese restaurants - they have those delicate wall-hangings, beautiful to look at, but I always wonder if they actually say "die, pig-dog Englishers" or "we spit in your food, mwah ha ha!" or something like that.

During this discussion, the break was caught, and a new break went away, we have no idea how important this break is, as we have no idea how many kms there are still to go.

So we watch idly, until Adam Hansen of Lotto pings off the front and gets the last 3 second time bonus at the sprint point, and we are told there is 24k to go. We are also told that he, Adam, has ridden the last seven consecutive Grand Tours: all three this year, all three the year before, and the Vuelta the year before. That's quite an achievement!

Apparently he also makes his own cycling shoes: no, he doesn't sit cross-legged on the floor of the team bus, stitching away, he has designed his own range of carbon-fibre shoes. Well, why not - it seems logical that someone who participates in a sport would have the best idea of what they require from the kit, after all.  And Dave Zabriskie - shamed ex doper, now retired - had his own range of chamois cream. Perhaps Andy will one day have his own range of helmets, with special tuft-enabled venting.

15k to go and Hansen is still out front all alone, starting on the final climb with just 40seconds on the peloton, and yes, he's wearing his self-made shoes, which might give him wings, but which don't prevent the peloton catching him 3k later.

10k to go and Tony Martin is thundering down the descent, with everyone making comparisons to his heart-breaking lone Vuelta breakaway, where he stayed out for 174km, but was caught within the last 100metres.  He has won both the previous editions of this race, so presumably he thinks that he ought to at least make the effort.

 This time, we are all pretty certain he'll be caught long before then, but it's good to see that he hasn't lost heart or confidence in himself, and off he goes, swinging smoothly round all those lovely easy bends, at what appears to be about a thousand miles an hour. However, appearances, or rather, camerabikes, are deceptive, and he never gets far ahead of the peloton, who sweep him up with 4k to go, and thunder on towards the finish.

It's a repeat of yesterday, and Bouhanni wins the day, and keeps the jersey.

Two more days to go, and we're off to the "mountains" tomorrow!

Tour of Beijing - Day 2

This day's coverage started with the sign-in board again, and today they have blanked out the names, leaving just the numbers, after the confusion of yesterday.

Once again our commentators were rudely interrupted by the appalling and unrealistic travelogue, and poor Magnus Backstedt was chatting away, clearly not aware that we viewers were being forced to see faked pictures of China in the sun, with tinny music, instead of seeing the race and listening to his interesting comments.

Eventually it stopped, and we were presented with a break of five up the road, including De Ghent, he of the "80% pay cut but it's better than nothing so I'm grateful for it". We have no idea whereabouts in the race we are, as we once again have no on-screen graphics at all, so we just watch idly, listening out for coughing in the background - ah, it's Magnus's turn to be coughing today  while the miles roll past.

The main climb of the day is a mere 5%, but it's clear that Magnus' earlier comments about riders being tired at the end of the long, long season is true, as even that modest climb splits the lead group of five riders into three groups.

At the summit, we get a sudden flash of a graphic, 47k to go, and they move into a long, sweeping, "easy" descent, which has Magnus drooling and wishing that he were still riding in the peloton, who - lead by BMC - quickly catch three of the original leaders , while the two in front appear to be relaxing, as they are sitting up and the gap is shrinking.

Suddenly - ooh! spectators! In the middle of nowhere, there is a neatly corralled bunch of them, all madly waving pink flags. Maybe it's a business of some kind, way out in the hills? A small commune of very unequal age distribution? A holiday camp? They seem happy, at any rate.

The two leaders are definitely slacking, and Bouet from AG2R, having hoovered up the last of the sprint points, decides he's had enough, and gives Kiesan from Lotto a great big shove on the back, to send him on his way.

We're not entirely sure, judging by the look on his face, that he actually intended to continue with a lone break: it's quite possible that he was hoping to sit up as well? But, with no choice, he pedals gamely off into the distance, while Bouet slows down and drops to the side of the road.

We all know what's coming, but does the camera bike? Apparently not, as we now get a lovely shot of Bouet having a natural break while we, along with Carlton, are shouting at the camera bike to pan away.

A short while later, the much relieved Bouet is swallowed by the peloton - oh look, more natural breaks - and Magnus discusses disc brakes on road bikes, and how they have been around for quite some time, but the UCI rules on bike equipment have lead to a stagnation in development. I could look this up for you in the UCI rules and regs, but frankly I can't bear to have my soul sucked out again, not when dear Brian Cookson is starting to work his way through, getting rid of some of the more ridiculous ones, like the one that states that women's cycling teams have an upper age limit of 28, for example. I will say right here and now that I am not the slightest bit interested in women's cycling, but it's staggering in this day and age that men can ride until they drop, but women have to stop at 28. That's not only sexist, arbitrary and insulting, it's senseless.

Anyway, back to the race... the pace is up, the peloton are flying, poor old Kiesan is going slower and slower. At 10k to go they have him in sight,  he looks over his shoulder and sees them approaching, and sags with relief.

The last 4k is just one long big sprint, with various lead-out trains fighting it out: this time, FdJ get it right, and Bouhanni wins it, in full skinsuit and aero helmet, proving the point that the right kit does indeed make a difference!

Tour of Beijing - Day 1

Ah, the unlovely Tour of Beijing.

Created by the unlovely Mr McQuaid: shoved in after the end of the season, when everyone is tired and needing a rest;  thousands of miles away from Europe and the centre of cycling (with apologies to the Tour Down Under); in a country with little understanding of pro cycling (First year - "no spectators will be allowed at the finish line") and a terrible, terrible smog problem.

Oh, and possessed of wide, flat, ie boring roads, and practically no hills.

Not exactly what we want to watch.

But *sigh* it's a UCI race, it has all the pro teams in it, so we may as well watch it, even though many teams have not sent a full complement, and most teams have not sent their big names.

The welcome ceremony seemed to go all right - the riders were up on a stage without bikes, and in trainers, so that must have been moderately comfortable for them. I always feel sorry for the riders, watching them having to clatter up steps in cycling shoes, carrying their bikes...

Movistar are there, we see Rui Costa proudly wearing the rainbow jersey of the Worlds: I wonder how he is going to enjoy it? The good side is that he will now be sent to all the big races, in fact to as many races as he can possibly manage (mental image of an exhausted Costa, with  training wheels on his bike, being towed along by his team-mates with a musette), in order to get the jersey out there. The bad news is that every camera will be on him, so every weakness or failure will be well documented. Just look at poor PhillyGilly this year - didn't win a thing until about a fortnight ago.

Of course, the smiles on the Movistar management are a bit strained, as Costa is moving to Lampre for next year, so they won't get the benefit... maybe that's why Alex Dowsett is looking so glum. Err, no, he always looks  like that. Cheer up, Alex!

Ah, there's Vacansoleil, their last appearance before the name change to Wanty (too many opportunities for mis-spelling that one) and the drop to Pro-Conti level.

Oh, and there's Euskaltel, another team under sentence of death - also Champion systems, the Chinese Pro-Conti team who are also folding at the end of the year.

Shack have sent just seven riders - no Andy, boo hiss - mind you, we still haven't heard what happened at the Giro de Lombardia. Andy was booked to start, our commentators made just one reference to him: "there was an early crash," they said, then "Andy Schleck has abandoned" but we never heard if it was due to the crash, or to a recurrence of the sinus infection that pulled him out of Milano-Torrino, or any other problem. The RadioShambles site doesn't even mention him in their own news report, which seems pretty mean, but then they do seem to be downplaying him as much as they can.

Anyway, getting back to Beijing: here's a nice picture of the arch at the start:

Anything strike you about this arch?

Organiser 1: "Right, let's get a nice big arch arranged for the start."
Organiser 2: "Errr, this is a UCI race, right?"
Organiser 1: "Well, yes, of course it is."
Organiser 2: "So all the pro teams will be here?"
Organiser 1: (somewhat impatiently) "Yes, all of them. Every single one."
Organiser 2: "Including O'Rica?"
Organiser 1: (long suffering tone) "Yeeeessssss."
Organiser 2: "OK let's go for the open topped arch then."
(pause)
Organiser 1: (briskly) "Very good. Open top arch. Well done."

At the sign-on, they even had a sort of podium girly, handing the pens to the riders and trying to get them back for the next person. She was wearing a fetching little red and white number, slightly tasteless in that it was strapless (which may be ok for evenings but looks odd during the day)(and on plump-shouldered bridesmaids, but that's just my opinion),  and somewhat spoiled by her clunky shoes, which looked like trainers, and made her feet look enormous.

Richie Porte was seen approaching the sign-on board,  going straight for the 151 slot, pausing, twisting himself round to read his own number, (yes, it was 151) looking back at the board in some confusion, as the team 15 numbers said Radioshack. Sky had been put at line 17, which was Saxo's numbers. Radioshack were actually team 14.

Oh dear.

He signed himself in on slot 151 anyway, so he's now riding for Radioshack.

There's no prologue, and no TT, we go straight into a day of racing, with the standard underwhelming start, for which "relaxed" is an understatement. Even been at the start of a race? The commentators do their best to whip everyone up into a state of high excitement,  getting the crowd whooping and hollering, then someone fires a gun - in this case, three Chinese gentlemen fired guns simultaneously, all we needed was for a couple of dead pigeons to flutter down - and the riders lazily get onto their saddles, stop chatting over the barriers to spectators, finish signing autographs,  and get under way in a leisurely manner. It's hard to explain this to non-fans.

Carlton Kirby is our commentator on Eurosport, along with Magnus Backstedt, and he puts the first nail in his coffin by referring to the "heat haze" that we can see. No, Carlton, it's smog.

We have barely got racing under way when the commentary is unceremoniously over-ridden by the first of the interminable travel adverts for China, showing unrealistic sunny, blue-sky weather and beautiful scenery, none of which we ever see in the background of the actual race footage.

It's a fairly normal flat day - a break of four riders gets away quite early, and stays out there for mile after mile. One of them is a Vacansoleil rider, we have no idea why he's make the effort other than to possibly get himself a contract with someone else next year. They cycle past miles and miles of bunting, just one single line of it:  hardly any spectators, but lots of bunting. As always, I am amused to see that they paint the tree trunks at the roadside white to about chest height, presumably to save on street lighting for the cars.

Oh look, there's an Euskaltel rider having a natural break - LLB says "Are they allowed to do that in China?" I don't know, but I imagine there will be fines to pay later.

More bunting.

Suddenly we get a flash of a graphic on screen - 58k to go. Good to know. The four-man break are still out there, manfully pedalling - ooh! look! spectators! five of them! - and there is more bunting. One member of the break is Nishizone from Champion: another graphic pops up on screen, giving his name, but putting an Italian flag next to it. Hmm, he's Japanese. Carlton comments "the Japanese flag is not popular in China, for historical reasons."  The graphics operator is either being very diplomatic, then,  or is very incompetent.

As an aside, about the only good thing on this Tour is the "out and back" layout of the stages, such that the riders don't have to suffer great long transfers from hotel to hotel. In fact, I think that they are staying in the same hotels for the whole race, which must be quite a treat. Magnus describes at some length what a good thing this is, and also describes how most riders, at this time of year, would be wanting to wind down the mileage that they are racing, preferring the traditional end-of-season small one-day races, not a great long stage race like this one.  It amuses me that even cyclists, who work in kms, refer to getting race miles in their legs, and in increasing or reducing their mileage. I guess there's no such a word as kilometerage.

Back to the race, and the peloton are doodling along, chatting merrily: I always find it interesting to watch them chatting, I always speculate about what they are saying (poor LLB, he has such a lot to put up with) and whether it could indicate transfers for next year.

There is yet more bunting, there seems to have been a single line of it almost the entire route so far, but it's only one side of the road - what we would call the off side. And by coincidence, the camera bike seems to be mostly sitting on the near side of the road, such that the bunting always appears in shot. Interesting.. something else that keeps appearing in shot is riders having a natural break, it's clear that the Chinese camerabikes don't know the protocol for discreetly turning away, or filming something else, or in desperate cases, pulling the focus. No, they just continue filming, and we are treated to several views of streams of pee.

Alex Dowsett displays again his terrible bidon-handling skills ( see Tour of Britain) as he bungs away a bidon, which bounces off some road furniture, pings back into the peloton and nearly takes down another rider. Oops.

At this point Carlton Kirby starts saying some very strange things about Mr Tinkoff - how good it is that he's staying in the sport, how great it is to meet people who are truly dedicated to cycling,  what a good thing it is that Mr T is moving around within the sport, he uses the phrase "sharing the love" of cycling. Is he mad? Has he forgotten about the insane tweets, the insults, the huffy withdrawal of sponsorship right at the end of the season? I am beginning to wonder if this is all politically motivated, along with the insistence of calling the choking smog "heat haze".

The break has been down to three riders for some time, but we don't know what happened to number four, or how long it's been going on, as we don't have any on-screen graphics.

Aha, another natural break is caught on camera - oh dear, one of the smaller scattered groups of spectators is coming up fast, and one of them has a video camera  - oh no! He's going to get more than he bargained for, as the peeing cyclists scoots past... let's hope they're wearing waterproof coats, eh?

What! No bunting?? We're suddenly told that there is 27k to go, we appear to be heading back into town as we are getting concrete underpasses, and they have apparently run out of bunting. The break have also run out of steam, and are swept up by the peloton, all except for the Lotto bloke, who makes a brave bid for freedom and the stage win.

The helicopter shot, no doubt intended to give us a glorious panorama of Beijing with the brave lone Lotto rider being pursued, instead reveals a thickening haze of smog over the city. At last Carlton admits that smog is a problem, but immediately goes on to say that it occurs mostly in cities like Shanghai. He's definitely getting paid off. And let's hope he spends it on cough medicine, as we can hear him coughing and hacking in the background every time he hands over to Magnus. LLB comments that Carlton is probably getting a lot of stick on Twitter for his comments on Tinkoff, and for not admitting to the smog problem!

15k to go, it says: the teams are clumping, the gap is dropping, there is no bunting, and no spectators, and Carlton is asking Magnus increasing complicated questions in order to get him to talk for longer, so that Carlton can have a good hack in the background.

At 10k to go there are suddenly more spectators, and oh look! remember them? The grim-faced green-uniformed guards standing in the road, facing outwards, to keep the spectators under control. They don't show images like that in the travelogue bits, do they?

It's going to be a bunch sprint, and it looks really dangerous, as the road is smooth, wide, flat, and dead straight. I know that sounds illogical, but anyone who's watched much cycling knows that a narrow, technical finish is safer, as it gets everyone well strung out, and leaves only the lead-out teams (ie the ones who know what they are doing) at the front.

And indeed it's a huge bunch sprint, and Thor gets it, after Carlton nearly chokes with excitement. Come on Carlton, get a grip, and get some cough mixture!

Stinkoff and Cannondale? Surely not!

Lots of rumours recently that nasty Mr Tinkoff - yes, he of the weird abusive and homophobic tweets, who suddenly pulled out of sponsoring Saxo Bank because Contador didn't win anything much this year - instead of starting his own new pro-team, as he had petulantly claimed, was going to join in sponsoring Cannondale.

Bad news, we all said.

Don't touch him! we all said.

He's bonkers! we all said.

Cannondale were denying everything earlier this week, then suddenly Mr Tinkoff was quoted as saying that it was true.

I considered this to be seriously bad news - I mean, the man has shown himself to be another of these results-focussed, not-serious-about-cycling rich people who have failed to understand the difference between Sponsorship (basically money down the drain, in return for publicity) and Investment (money in, money out: hopefully more out than you put in).

Just like dear Mr Becca. And possibly Mr Alonso, we don't know yet.

I know that the Cannondale Gerbils - no, not gerbils, what are those ratty things with stripes down their backs? Oh yes, chipmunks - ok, the Cannondale Chipmunks, are short of a sponsor and therefore looking for more money, but really, guys, come on: you can do better than Mr Tinkoff.

Then yesterday LLB told me that he'd read a report quoting Peter "More fun than a jammy dodger" Sagan as saying that if Mr Tinkoff came on board, he would be off.

Great stuff! Well done, Petter! He has now been promoted to definite Honorary Schlecklander, for standing up against proven bad behaviour and irresponsible sponsorship.

Incidentally, I do wonder why Peter Sagan is pronounced Petter, while Peta Todd (Cav's wife) is spelt Petter, but pronounced Peeeter.

It's the little things that intrigue me...

Anyway, back to Cannondale - no official news either way this morning, but I shall be watching wiht interest to see who denies what, next.

Trek Factory Racing - seriously?

Wow, that's a catchy name for a team - not! 

I'm hoping that Trek will come up something a little more stylish before they get the kit printed....

The UCI have announced the list of teams requesting Pro-team status, and would you believe it, there are exactly 18 teams applying for 18 places.

That should work out quite neatly, then, shouldn't it? Assuming that the Dark Lords are granted pro status again without all last year's faffing about, that is.

We never did get the full story about that, but rumour has it that it was to do with their ridiculously over-inflated travel budget - figures of 27 million euros were mentioned, compared to the mere 23 million which Team Sky spend on their entire operation - and the suggestion was that money-laundering was involved.

At least it was nothing to do with doping!

Unlike poor old Jonathon Tiernan-Locke, whose Biological passport shows irregularities after last year's Tour of Britain, but which only, mysteriously, came to light a couple of days before the British Cycling guy, Brian Cookson, was going up against Pat McQuaid in the UCI elections. Suspicious timing, huh? Make the UK guy look bad, huh? And who is JTL's manager, we ask ourselves? Oh yes, McQuaid's son. How very odd.

Leaving all that aside, Andy's been in the news again, for all the wrong reasons, *sigh* when he withdrew from Milano-Torino with a sinus infection. At least this time he didn't start, as opposed to DNF! *laughs* Yes, we have to be able to laugh at these things - although I bet he's not laughing much these days, poor boy.

So, OGL is booked to appear in Il Lombardie today, so fingers crossed that all goes well for him, and let's see a few of those Lux Ensign flags waving out there on the course - I've really missed seeing them along the course. I don't expect he'll be winning the race, but it would be good to see him pedalling well again.

That leaves just the Tour of Beijing *cough splutter* and the season is officially over, and hopefully we can look forward to a much, much better new year.

But really, Trek Factory Racing? Factory Racing? Might as well have "presented by" tacked on the back of it - sounds like a continental team, not a top level Pro Team. *sigh*

McQuaid out: Cookson in!

At last, a great day for cycling - the unlovely Pat McQuaid has finally been prised out of the UCI, and we have someone new in charge.

The new guy is silver-topped Brian Cookson, OBE, who has been the President of British Cycling since 1997, when he (and the rest of the committee) was brought in to rescue it from insolvency - yes, that's how bad a state British cycling was in, fifteen years ago: insolvent. Under his leadership, the UK has won 19 Olympic Gold medals, 28 Paralympic Gold medals, the Tour de France twice, and multiple World Championship titles in disciplines of Road, Track and BMX.

Not bad for an unpaid job eh?

General opinion seems to be that he's too "nice" to take on this role, and that someone more forceful will be required. People who say this clearly have no idea what it's like to get anything done in Britain, what with obstructive local government, budgetary restraints, and the general inertia of the populace. Brian Cookson has taken a sport that was well below Darts in popularity, not to mention the insolvent bit, and has turned it around to the point where we won the Tour twice - TWICE!! - in successive years, with two different riders.

To have done that is a fantastic achievement, and shows a determination to succeed that is not visible on his rather gentle-looking face.

In fact, there was a good indication of this man's character in the actual election - there had been over an hour of arguing about whether McQuaid would be allowed to stand or not,  with some delegates arguing that there should firstly be a vote as to whether his nomination was valid or not.  Brian Cookson stepped in, firmly saying "Right! That's IT! I have had ENOUGH of this arguing. Him or me - vote now."

Which is what they did, and he won, 24 votes to 18.

I would have liked to have seen him have a resounding victory (43 for, 1 against, would have been my ideal result), but there are some rather nasty undercurrent factors in play - McQuaid does undoubtedly have some real supporters, but it is entirely possible that there are some delegates who felt that they had to vote for him - even though it was a secret ballot, if he were to have won again, and found out who had not voted for him, there might well have been repercussions.

However, there were enough honest men (and I use the term "men" to be short for "human") in the room to get  Brian Cookson elected, and now he can get his new broom out, and sweep those corners!

So what do we think his first list of jobs will be?

1) Send a minion round to McQuaid's office and prevent him shredding incriminating documents.
2) Lock said office and guard it against "accidental" arson and destruction of evidence,
3) Get a new office, a new computer, new shelves, new filing cabinets, and start afresh.
4) Rebuild relationships with WADA, USADA etc
5) Rebuild relationships with sponsors, tour organisers etc.
6) Rebuild relationships with riders - listening to their feedback re race radios, safety etc.

It's going to be a while before we see any visible changes, I imagine - something as big as the UCI is a bit like one of those massive tankers that take five miles to slow down or change direction. But give him time, and I am hoping that we will see real improvements in cycling today.

Sort of interesting that there was no third option for the job, eh? No-one else in the entire world of cycling was prepared to take on McQuaid... wonder why? Well, obviously it's a horrible job - everyone is going to hate you as soon as you start changing things, and you have all your predecessor's cronies to deal with. Plus everyone will be watching you for a sign of weakness, or a hint that you are turning to the dark side.

Not an easy job.

But welcome, Brian, and I hope you make as good a job of it as you did with the turnaround of British Cycling!

Canada 2: Montreal

Second of the big one-day UCI races in Canada, another one with lots of circuits, and Andy's riding in it - what's not to like, as they say?

This is another of those races where our poor knackered hard-working riders are tortured by having to keep riding past their hotel, as they get progressively more tired and less motivated to continue, so by the end of the race 68 of the 164 starters had dropped out, including Our Andy, who made it to the second-to-last lap, 23k to go, before calling it a day.

That's not as bad as it sounds - 7 of Sky dropped out (including one who had one of those awful falls where they don't get up), and I don't think one team ended with a full complement. And there doesn't seem to be a lot of point in flogging yourself to death just to be lapped by the winners!

That leaves just the Tour of Lombardie and the unlovely Tour of Beijing *cough splutter* as the last UCI races for RadioShambles - you will remember that dear kind sweet Mr Becca has decreed that he ain't paying for any more races, so they can only attend the ones for which the team is contractually obliged.  I wonder who he will send to Beijing? I bet he is doing eeny-meeny-miny-mo to decide which is more insulting - to send Andy to Beijing in the hopes that he contracts a nasty chest infection, or to leave him at home?

The Montreal race itself was pretty much the same as usual - a break got away, they spent all day chasing it, caught it a bit too early, lots more attacks, a brave lone attack, a last-minute bunch sprint. I spent more time looking at the spectators to see if Figgy was watching... especially when the cameras showed Andy and two others who had been riding together at the back, and who obviously decided among themselves that it was time to climb off. Andy lead them to the barriers and started disconnecting the sections so they could get out - no embarrassing "here, hold my bike while I climb over" for him, unlike the un-named Katusha rider who made a major hash of doing so, several laps earlier - and I was expecting Figgy to be there at any second, offering to hold his bike for him.

*laughs*

Oh, and a quick shout-out for former Schlecklander, Boulderado (Elle) who has moved a short distance away from Boulder, but must still have friends in the area - we've been seeing the terrifying flooding on our news for the last couple of days, and more rain is forecast, so a sincere wish that Elle, and all other Schlecklanders in the area, are safe.

Canada 1: Quebec

LLB and I always enjoy watching this race - I know that most of the peloton don't enjoy circuits, and I can see their point (especially when they are hanging off the back and have to cycle past their hotel entrance repeatedly) but as a spectator, I think circuits are brilliant.

And every year we watch this race - which is to say, every year for the last four years -  we talk about going over to Canada to watch this and Montreal. We are lured by the lovely Park, with the elegant spaciousness, the lovely trees, and the fact that we could clearly stand anywhere we wanted to.

We have even discussed standing on the "other" side of the roadway, holding up banners so the static camera could see them.

"But what would our banners say?" asks LLB.

Hmm, well,  mine would clearly say "go, Andy!" or something similar, which would be a bit odd if he were not riding. And we have no indication yet that the new Trek team will be better than RadioShambles at announcing their team more than five minutes in advance of the race starting...and we'd have to book the trip months beforehand... ah well, maybe next year.

Anyway, what of Quebec?

An interesting field, lots of big names, including Our Andy, much to my surprise, and they had given him number 1 as well - also to my surprise. I rather thought that Mr Spoilsport Becca would not be allowing Andy to race any more, and I was certain that, if he were, he would be relegated from number 1. But I was wrong - there he was, with number 1 on his back.

Alas, we didn't see him until a few laps from the end when he was suddenly spotted off the back, and our commentators (rather meanly, I thought) started saying "Oh dear, there's Andy Schleck falling off the back, well, we don't know where his head is these days," ("on his shoulders, usual place, stoopy" being the Schlecklander response at this point).."looks like he's going to be a DNF again.." but he was hammering up behind a team car and was clearly chasing back on.

At that point we get the action replay, and sure enough, he's pulling over with a mechanical and waving for the car.

So yar boo sucks, Carlton!

Unfortunately, despite chasing back on at high speed, and catching the back of the peloton in no time at all, the next we see is of him with a small group, obviously well off the back and not making any effort to chase back on.

*sigh*

I checked the Radioshambles site this morning, agog for more information, but he wasn't mentioned at all in the incredibly brief report. It would appear that Mad Dog Horner is Shack Rider Of The Month, and no other news is of interest.

The only bright spot is that the one and only Comment below the website report was a plaintive "What happened to Andy?"

So now we have Sunday to look forward to, the GP Montreal, and fingers crossed that Our Andy can make a slightly better showing there!

Andy Schleck Girlfriend 2013 - having a baby!

OK, unconfirmed rumours at present - although you'd think that Wort.lu would know, if anyone does:

Yay!

Hooray!  Brace yourself, TinkerJil, this will be the first of many, as Andy has already said that he wants "heaps of kids", and I think we all know how much he dotes on his neice,  Leea.

D'aaaw, sweet, I've been waiting for aaaages for the announcement of a wedding - we thought we saw a delicate little engagement ring on Tinkerjil's finger a while back, but nothing was said. Mind you, Andy has been being fairly quiet this year, for all sorts of perfectly understandable reasons, so maybe they felt the time was not right to talk about the future..

Perhaps now he might be a bit more forthcoming? *scans Twitter in case there's any more info*

Oh, and it's going to be a boy, of course. Oh, I do hope they go with a Luxembourgish name (cries of "Call him Jempy!" from me) although apparently the top Lux boy's name this year is Toni, which - in all the English-speaking countries - is the girl's version of the name. Short for Antonia, usually. So don't go with that one!

It looks as though 2014 is going to be a fabulous year for all of us: Andy will be racing again, fully healed, and very, very happy: Frankie will be racing again: Trek will have the new team up and running,  no more Becca; Martine will announce her second baby (that's just me speculating); Jil will be having her first baby, ooh! excitement!  and the new Trek team will blow everyone out of the water, except for Sky. *big grin*

I can't wait!

La Vuelta, first half... or two thirds...

The first week of the Vuelta has proved to be a lot more interesting that the normal first week of a big tour, partly due to the shorter stages bringing out a lot more breaks.

For RadioShambles, Horner has done really well with a stage win, and wearing the red jersey for a day, but phew! what a weirdo he is. Did you hear his post-race interview? He was burbling on about Shack's whole plan and strategy being to get him in red and keep him there until he wins the race.

Huh?

Shack didn't even have an acknowledged GC leader, they sent along the best they could scrape up from their team, without including Andy (who was in the Pro challenge instead) or Frankie (for some stupid spiteful reason: wouldn't it have made sense to send him?) and Horner is the oldest bloke in the peloton, and not exactly tipped to do great things here.

I can imagine the rest of the team watching the monitor and saying "Whaaaaat?!" when they heard it. I know that riders are full of adrenaline just after a stage, but I've heard Horner talking at other times, and he really is slightly disconnected from the real world. Hearing him spluttering about Armstrong's innocence was painful to watch, particularly in light of Armstrong's later confession...

Fabian, on a better note, is looking fantastic as always, and he's looking quite strong as well, ha! ha! No, seriously, he's looking in really good form, he even did an uphill sprint to the finish - although I think everyone watching would secretly have liked Tony Martin to win that stage, after his heroic/bonkers one-man break for practically the whole day.

I have to inject a girly note at this point - doesn't the Belkin kit look good? When they first wore it, I thought it was a bit "simple", or "retro", as they call it - none of the intricate shading of the other teams, just simple blocks of colour. But I'm really getting to like it, and it's easy to spot in the peloton, which is a major factor in kit likeability. But am I the only person who thinks that a "belkin" is some sort of medieval codpiece?

Moving on from that, but staying with kit, I still wish that riders would be given individual numbers, or at least would have their names across their shoulders, as they do in football, so that we could more easily spot them. I'm having real difficulty spotting the lovely Jakob in this Vuelta, as the Pyjama Boys all look strangely similar. Usually I can spot all my pets by their riding style, or their stance, or their body shape (JVS) but the Pyjama Boys all look exactly the same, even Nibali. Most odd. Must be something to do  with their onesies. Perhaps they only have one size of kit, and they have to pad out anyone who's too skinny.

Back to the race... Euskaltel are going great guns, in every break: for the first few days it was definitely "contract break" in the hopes of getting an offer from another team, but now that Mr Alonso has come to the rescue, they seem to be determined to show their gratitude by getting lots of sponsor time, which is definitely the right thing to do. I even saw one group of spectators holding up a white sheet on which was written "Gracias, Alonso!" which was very sweet. I wonder which member of the family sacrificed their bedsheets for that gesture?

Luke Rowe of Sky, one of my pets, was doing very well in the early days (although he's now dropped out, not feeling very well, shame, but he lasted as long as Philly Gilly, which can't be bad) , and was cycling along with Johnny Hoogerland (another honorary Schlecklander) who was already sporting a bandaged knee and elbow, poor boy.

The weirdest thing about our coverage of the Vuelta is the theme music which Eurosport have chosen to go with the footage - it's, well, sort of Celtic. More appropriate for the Tour of Ireland, you would have thought?

Despite the music, there's been lots of sunshine and hot, hot days, right up until this weekend when it suddenly changed, temperatures plummeted, and riders started dropping out left, right and centre,  many of them from hypothermia. I have to say, the organisers don't seem to have much consideration for riders, do they? Not only do they plan out routes that involve huge transfers, so they don't get a decent rest after each day,  but they now move them from one coast to another, hurling them from 36degrees heat exhaustion straight into 6 degrees England on a Bad Day. It really does not seem fair. On one of the earlier days we had the treat of seeing Fab go back to the team car and have a quick all-over body squirt from a large aerosol container. Was it a special cooling liquid, asked our commentators? Nah - it was just cologne. Fab likes to smell nice.

On the same very hot day,  my pet Luke was out in the break with no team car - so the AG2R car gave him a bottle. Aaaw! I love this sport.

Going back to kit for a moment, one of the Shack riders, whose name I can't spell (sounds like Keizerlovski) is wearing his national jersey - except that it appears to be a complete national kit, including shorts. So much for the  RadioShambles "we put national flags into a tiny stripe" policy. Or was that Mr Becca's policy? Is this a sign of his waning influence? We can but hope. The rider concerned, however it is spelled, pinged off the front at one point, with the equally un-spellable Txurruca: they got a little bit of a gap, Keizerlovski flicks the elbow - but there is no-one there! He looks round in astonishment to find that Txurruca has faded back to the group, and he's there out front all alone.  And he's so embarrassed that, instead of zooming off, he drops back to the bunch, which made me laugh.

Later on that day, Edvald Boassen-Haagen-Daaz leaps off the front with only 14k to go. "Sanchez goes after him!" yells Carlton Kirby, our commentator. But which one? The helicopter is so high that we can't see which rider it is. Ah, it's someone in green kit, that means Belkin *snorts through nose* so it's LL Sanchez - the pretty one. Sammy is the scary one, you might remember, with the Klingon-style corrugated forehead.  Things are much easier now, as Luis Leon has had to withdraw from the race - yes, hypothermia, join the queue - so we only have Scary Sammy left.

So here we are, two thirds of the way through the Tour, hilly stage today, rest day tomorrow, then a final week of hills. But Wednesday might be dangerous, it's a non-hilly day which might mean one of those awful scorched-earth interior days.. and we all know what lives out in the scorched-earth areas, don't we? Yes, zombies! *laughs*   And what do zombies eat? All together now, "cyclists!". And what do they eat when they can't get any cyclists? "Each other!" That's right. Well done, class.  That's why it's very important to stay with the peloton on scorched-earth days.

And what of Our Andy, while all this is going on? Hopefully he's recovered from the stomach upset that saw him DNF in the Plouay short tour: RadioShambles have not yet announced who they are sending to Canada for the Quebec and Montreal GPs, let alone the Italian races and the Beijing tour next month, so I have no idea if we will get to see him race again this year. Somehow, I suspect that Mr Becca will punish him by refusing to let him ride again.. unless he sends Andy to Beijing in the  hopes that he'll get a nasty respiratory infection from that disgusting smog which blights this Tour.

No, I am not a big fan of the Beijing Tour.

Remember the first one, where the repressive local regime refused entry to spectators, so there was practically no-one at the finish lines? And that smog! I don't know what sort of coverage you all got, but here in the UK we kept getting lengthy travelogue promotional adverts for Beijing, showing glorious blue skies and fantastic distant views, happy locals and impressed tourists: then we'd cut back to the race, where you could barely see across the street for the smog, and there were six men and a dog in face masks watching our riders cough and sneeze their way around the course. It did not endear itself to me.

We have also had partial coverage of the Tour of Alberta, but we haven't had a chance to watch it while the Vuelta is going on, so you'll have to wait a little while before hearing my views on that race. But Andy wasn't in it, anyway... ("pff!")  so it doesn't get priority.

Right, back to la Vuelta: hills today, let's see if Mad Dog Horner can continue his truly unbelievable run of good form.

Another fractured pelvis!

Blimey, what's happening in cycling? Is Our Andy setting a trend?

Today I read that Simon Gerrans of O'rica (the well known Irish Australian team) cracked his pelvis earlier in the Vuelta, and has had to give up, go to hospital, and go home.

What's going on? I don't remember hearing about anyone with a fractured pelvis before, and now we have Andy, G, Barbie Barbie and Simon Gerrans all with the same injury.

Two years ago it was all scaphoid bones......

Perhaps they need to take fewer energy gels and more bone strengthening supplements.

Other odd news today, Puncture Pim has not been snaffled by Trek, instead he has gone to Lotto. I'm a little disappointed by this, I must admit. But at least he has a contract, what with Vacansoleil about to fold. Oh, and Philly Gilly finally, FINALLY! managed a stage win in the rainbow jersey: he won a sprint finish in stage 12 of the Vuelta (which I haven't watched yet, but LLB has it recorded for me), so he must be pretty relieved, eh?

Euskaltel will live on!

Great news in recent days: a new sponsor has stepped up to take over the Carrots, Euskaltel Euskadi, who were about to fold at the end of this season.

The new sponsor is Ferdinand Alonso, former F1 driver, who is apparently very chummy with both Contador and Sammie "Crinkled Forehead" Sanchez: the report says that he's a  big cycling fan, and has wanted to get involved with sponsoring a team for some years now.

Needless to say, I'm really happy to hear this, but I do have some reservations - is he going to be another stupid "rich man" sponsor, who will lose interest if his team fail to win, win, win? (Becca) Does he fully appreciate that he may have bought Euskaltel, but they will still do what they have always done, ie fall off their bikes, knock other riders off their bikes, whizz up hills from time to time, get in breaks, occasionally win a stage, and virtually never win a big race.

If he's ok with that, then we're ok.

If he expects them to suddenly turn around and start winning, he is in for a disappointment (no offence to Euskaltel, or Midge, *waves across the channel*, or any other Carrot fans!), and I really don't want to see yet another rich man dabbling  his fingers in the sport, then dumping it when things don't go quite as he wanted.

We won't know about that until part way through next season, but there are some more immediate questions that need to be asked:

1)  Kit. Will he keep the orange?
2) Name. Will they still be Euskaltel something?
3) Team cars: will they be Ferraris?

Regarding kit, we all hope he keeps the iconic orange, but we have to accept that if he is buying the team - for 6 million euros, it's said - then he does have the right to change it. He comes from a small region of Spain (thanks, Midge, for that info!) whose national flag is a nice shade of blue, with a gold cross on it. I hereby prophesy that if he changes the kit, it will be black shorts, blue jerseys, and gold/yellow stripes, rather like the old Blanco kit.

Regarding name: as above. During la Vuelta, our commentators said that Euskaltel might well stay on as sponsors, now that a big injection of someone else's cash has come along, so there is a real chance that the word Euskaltel will continue to appear in their team name. I do hope so!

And as for team cars, well, don't be silly: Ferrari simply don't make an estate car with a roof rack, and in fact they probably don't even make a car whose speedometer can register 5mph. And frankly, none of their clutches could stand the constant slipping!

GP Plouay

Our coverage begins with a quick look at the start line - Hi, Andy! *waves* Oh! Er, hi Contador! Ooer, is this the first time they have raced together in recent history? They used to be such friends...

Suddenly the race is well under way, and we have a break of four, all small pro-continental teams, in the classic "tv break" (which has recently become the classic "I need a  contract" break) as they get publicity for themselves and their sponsors, including the Damart Boys in their loose grey woolly underwear.

It seems like a small race to be a UCI one: I had actually forgotten it was a "proper" race, and was expressing surprise at all the big teams taking part, until LLB reminded me, with a pitying expression on his face. It seems that everyone who didn't go to la Vuelta is here, making quite an impressive field, for what looks like a small race.

According to Twitter, Andy stepped off barely half-way through the race, but our coverage is only highlights, so we don't see any of that, nor is it being referred to, later in the race. Twitter was full of criticism: "If Becca won't let me race where I want to, I won't race where he wants me to" was one suggestion, and there were a  lot more along those lines. Is Our Andy really that petty? It would be hard to blame him, if that were the case, bearing in mind the latest bomb dropped by Mr Becca ( See Becca pulls the Plug - "No more money for anything other than UCI races that we are forced by contract to attend") but it would be somewhat unprofessional. I'll wait until I have heard his side of it before I judge!

Our coverage makes sudden jumps, as it is only the highlights: we go from 23k to go, straight to 16k with no word of explanation -  the break have suddenly vanished: it makes it hard to see any coherent pattern to the racing. No wonder "new" fans get so confused by it, if all they see are highlights of races.

At 10k to go there is a break of three riders, and the Lotto rider is fishing in his jacket pockets for gels. He pulls one out and immediately throws it away. Huh? Did he not like it? Was it the wrong flavour? Was it to save weight for the final push? I find it hard to believe that a couple of grams could make that much difference - a bidon, yes: water is heavy, but a tiny gel? And what if he needs it in the last few kms?

Well, the race ends: apparently there was a crash in the last but one lap, but we didn't see it due to our "highlights" coverage. The good news for RadioShambles that Nizzolo (currently contract-less for next year) came a very close second and *pants to get breath back after dashing off to their website* it seems that Andy had stomach problems, causing him to retire.

The Shack report ends, rather spitefully, "Hopefully Andy will feel better in the upcoming days."

Will he be sent off to Canada for the last couple of UCI races, I wonder?

USA Pro challenge

Well, what a hoot that was!

I still think that the scenery was very scenic, but not exactly pretty - rather too many loooong looong boring straight roads - but it was good to see Andy racing again, especially in the first week, when we did manage to spot him a few times.

Towards the end of the race, there was less coverage, which I suppose is only to be expected, as they were focusing on likely winners.

Still, Our Andy came in 31st overall, which is where he was sitting for most of the race. So in real terms, he was never going to win it, and he maintained his position right to the end of the race.

Points of note from the race, apart from the scenery? Well, Cannondale appeared in their new kit, a rather less green, more black sort of affair, but still sporting the chipmunk stripes on the back. Peter "more fun than a jammy dodger" Sagan appeared on the podium at one point with whiskers, so the team must have heard me referring to them as chipmunks.

See what I mean?

Some of the USA fans exhibited what - with due respect to all American Schlecklanders - I would call the typical American over-exuberance, but mostly it occurred in wacky costumes, which is fine.  It's the fans who run alongside that make me cross.

I'm now wishing that I'd made notes as the race was progressing, as I have forgotten all the funny little incidents that caught my eye at the time... but I must say a big word of praise for the Tour Tracker, which was generally excellent, and I wish more races would have something similar.

The only improvement would be if all riders had properly enabled GPS transmitters, so that we could choose our top three (or so) riders, and be able to see whereabouts they are on the road at all times. LLB always says that he'd like to be able to check wattage etc of his chosen riders, but I'd be happy just to know exactly where they were.

One thing which was massively memorable about the Pro Challenge was the placenames  - Steamboat Springs, for a start, you just couldn't make up a name like that, could you?

Bachelor's Gulch made me laugh as well, but they seemed to be riding uphill to it: surely a gulch would be lower than everything around, wouldn't it?

And finally there was Beaver Creek, just south of Hanging Jugs....

Becca pulls the plug

Well, the unlovely Mr Becca has made his feelings quite plain today, in an act of sheer spite - he's pulled the plug on all non-essential racing for the rest of this season.

He has said that he won't fund any races other than the UCI World Tour races, the ones that all pro-teams are compelled to attend.

So our Leopards (and the RadioShambles bunch) will continue at la Vuelta, and will do the five remaining races, but won't do Paris-Tours, Paris-Brussels, or the Tour of Britain - although to be fair, we already knew they weren't coming to Britain as the organisers released the start list, and they weren't on it...

..shame...

...but there you are, we can't expect them to come all the way to the UK every year. Maybe Trek will come next year?

In the meantime, the end of this season is going to be somewhat difficult for the team, if not all of them are going to be allowed to ride races, as they need the race miles to work up their form for the Worlds.

Talking of which, I have never quite figured out who pays for what when riders compete at the Worlds - suddenly they are no longer riding for their team, but for their country, leading to some unexpected alliances, some strange kit, and the feeling that they are neglecting their pro teams.

Other Trek news includes this report confirming a few more riders going to the new team, which now contains:

Andy
Frankie
Fabu
...and
Stijn Devolder
Markel Irizar
Yaroslav Popovych
Gregory Rast
Hayden Roulston and
Jesse Sergent

Hey, Trek, don't forget Puncture Pim!

LLB lubs me!

Remember the Lux ensign socks? Bought about three years ago, worn to death, finally consigned to the bin, amid much sadness and with a very glum face:

Yes, they had actual holes underneath, and you should have seen the heels!! It was a sad day when the second pair (above) finally gave up the ghost, and were thrown out.

It was even more traumatic, as I couldn't find them for sale any more - I bought those ones from Wiggle, and although they had about a hundred products from Sock Guy, none of them were Lux ensign ones.

After wailing about this for several weeks, I finally learned to live a Life Without Lux Socks: it was a hard adjustment, but eventually I came to terms with the loss.

Then LLB gave me a present - oooh! New Lux socks!  How sweet is that? He searched for, and found, some very similar Lux socks for me, instead of sending me off to Andyhab (where I think I probably have a standing reservation).  Perhaps it's because we haven't heard much from Our Andy this year... or perhaps I have been very good this summer.

The new socks are not quite the same - instead of Angel of the Mountains (in memory of Charly Gaul, not Our Andy) on the sole, these ones have L/XL. Apparently they don't come in my size anymore, so these one are a leader bit (as Magnus Backstedt would say) too large, but being extremely stretchy they aren't as overlarge as you'd think, and I just don't care, I wear them anyway!

So I am a happy, happy, happy Schlecklander again, and I am now wearing my new Lux ensign socks as often as I can. I'm wearing them now, actually!

Eneco Tour: Pim and the Puncture

Just time for a quick note about the Eneco Tour, having watched all but the last day of it - no! Don't tell me who won!

Actually, I'm not that bothered by who won what jersey,  as only a few of my "pets" were in it, and neither of the Schlecks were. Nor Jakob.

But it was still an enjoyable race to watch, and in fact I've adopted a new pet, the humorously-named Pim Ligthart of the about-to-be-disbanded VacanSoleil.

Did you see what happened to him? He was out in a break, for hour after  hour, and it was something like 13k to go, he was still out in front in the break, the peloton where charging up behind but the three of them were working well together: when he got a puncture. The time gap was about 38seconds, so the team cars had been pulled out, but the Neutral Service should still have been there.

But they weren't.

He had to pull over to the side, and wait for 38 seconds until the bunch came past... then he had to wait while the whole peloton whizzed past... then he had to wait for the team car... then he had to wait while they got the right wheel for him, and THEN he had to work his way back onto the peloton.

Did he cry? No, he did not.

Did he stamp his feet in rage and throw the punctured wheel into the hedge? No, he did not.

But it must have been heartbreaking, all the same.

So he is now an honorary Schlecklander (despite being ginger), as he is only a puppy, and he took what must have been a crushing disappointment like a man.

Other points of note, from all but the last day of the race:

Firstly, I loved the crash-into-a-banner episode: if you didn't see it, no doubt it will appear on Watts at some point. Here's what happened:

It was at a run-up to a roundabout, lots of bottle-necking, cyclists hopping up on the pavements and cycle paths as they always do in Belgium, nothing unusual there... but some kind person had strung one of those stout paper advertising banners across the two poles supporting the roundabout sign.

The back of it was facing the race, so it was plain white.

And yes, one of the cyclists failed to see it, tried to cycle between the two poles, and whanged right into it. He had to stop and rip it to bits, looking somewhat bemused, before he could rejoin the race.

Laugh? We hooted!

Secondly, Taylor Phinney and his really, really bad crash: now, I don't normally find anything nice or funny or sweet about crashes, but there was a lovely moment in this one. He was sitting in the road, dazed, unable to bend his knee and therefore unable to get up. His DS took him under the armpits, another BMC guy picked up the damaged leg, and they gently lifted him to the side of the road.

Yes, I know you're not supposed to move accident victims until the medics get there, don't shout at me, but if a guy is lying in a very narrow road with a large convoy of team cars all hooting and desperate to get past, well - you do what you have to.

Anyway, having moved him to the verge, the DS (a former pro cyclist himself) let go of the armpits, then just gently squeezed the tops of Taylor's shoulders, in that sort of semi-massage manner.

It seemed a very sweet gesture: not deliberate, just a tiny physical reassurance that it was all going to be all right.

Awww!

Shades of stage 3 of the Giro last year, remember when Phinney had to be helped across the finish line with a suspected broken ankle? Poor boy! But once again, he hasn't actually broken anything, so I guess we can be thankful for that.

I haven't watched the final day yet, but we did squeeze in time for the Tour Des Fjords, which means exactly what it says on the box. Southern Norway, lots of fjords, looking less intimidating when not covered in snow. We saw the second day, for some reason - no sign of the first or subsequent days, just the second day - and I have to say that the finish line was hilariously under-played: instead of ending in the nearby small town, they ended at what appeared to be a minor road junction, apparently so that they could park the team minibuses in the car park of the Cultural Centre. There wasn't room for the proper team buses, so the riders had to get changed after the race out in the open, on the grass.

Hilarious!

No word from Andy recently - errr, not that he contacts me, no! no! I just mean that he hasn't done very much lately, other than appearing at the Trek presentation along with Fabian and Jensie:

Here he is, looking relaxed and happy while Fabu waves around an enormous cowbell.

No, I have no idea why!

It's now been confirmed that Jensie has signed with Trek for a year, although he is saying - again! - that he's going to retire after that one final year.

We shall see, Jensie, we shall see!

Fractured pelvis and gritted teeth

Poor Andy, he must be sick to death of hearing about other riders' wonderful recoveries from broken pelvises!

Pelvisis?

Pelvi?

Anyway *shakes head* whatever the plural of pelvis is... first we had G in the Tour, falling off right at the beginning, fracturing his pelvis, and not only continuing to ride, but after a very quiet, hang-on-grimly-at-the-back week or so, he even started taking turns on the front of the peloton, and contributing to the team effort.

Then, today, we hear that Barbie Barbie - Heinrich Haussler - who broke his pelvis in the Tour de Suisse earlier this year, is not only back on his bike, but is about to participate in the Tour de Poitou-Charentes (chorus of "Where?") after making a better recovery than anticipated.  And at one point, he was in a wheelchair!!

Whereas Our Andy was struggling to ride for, how long? Aaaaages. It must be very galling for him to read this reports.

Of course, none of us know exactly how bad each injury was - G's fracture must have been, with due respect to him, a small one, for him to continue riding. Likewise we don't have all the details of Barbie Barbie's injury.

However, this does not stop people criticising Our Andy for taking "too  long" to recover.  I have more or less decided that I am never going to read the cycling forums again, as they are just so spiteful and generally horrible.  Not just to Andy, I hasten to add, the attacks swing around from rider to rider as time passes,  but as an Andy-fan, I do feel that Andy has come in for a lot of what you might call "Anti-fan" attention.

That's not quite the right word for them, but I can't think of anything better right now: you know the sort I mean, the ones who are not exactly cycling fans, as all they can talk about is how doping is ruining the sport, how cycling is finished, how everyone is doping, how [insert name of rider] is rubbish.

Why, I have to ask, do they bother to follow the sport if it upsets them so much?

The answer, as with "why on earth do teenagers continue to log on to a web site where they get cyber-bullied?"  seems to be that they are desperate for attention, and any attention is better than getting a life of their own.

*sigh*

Talking of desperate for attention, what about the unlovely Pat McQuaid, then? Anyone else been following this story, mouth open and staggered (despite being sitting down at the time) at the bare-faced effrontery of the man?


In case you haven't noticed, he's been the president of the UCI for years, and he is not a popular man in cycling circles any more - mostly, it seems to me, because he does not seem to be at all interested in the rights and safety of the cyclists. I don't know exactly what he IS interested in, other than keeping his position and swanning around as a VIP visitor....  presumably "money" is there somewhere in his agenda,  and "showing everyone that I am in charge" as he seems to be unable to work with any other person or organisation, even when it is a situation that would benefit all the riders and the sport in general.

I'm thinking of one of the USA races from last year, was it, when he, as leader of the UCI, refused to supply the usual Doping Controls to a race, because the race organiser had said that the UCI system was not strict enough, and that they wanted to bring in a private company to do the testing.  Not only did Mr McQuaid ban this outside company from attending the event, he then refused to send the UCI testers, meaning that the race went ahead with no doping control at all.

What he should have done was to either allow both systems to run side by side (if he really, truthfully doubted that the private company were up to the job) then to compare results afterwards, to see if one team or the other were "better" at detecting irregularities. Why would he not do this? The only sensible conclusion is that he was afraid that his own doping control would be found to be less effective.

*throws hands in air*

So now he's facing the utter humiliation of not being re-elected as president, and he is squirming around finding every loophole that he can, to try to get the re-election. 

Firstly, when his own Federation (Ireland) shocked him rigid by voting against his nomination, (after he had tried to fiddle it, this is) he announced that his "other" federation, Switzerland, would nominate him.

That nomination is being legally challenged.

So he rounded up another couple of Federations - really obscure ones like Thailland and Morocco: like, "who?", not exactly major cycling nations - and persuaded them to put forward an amendment to the UCI's soul-sucking rules to say that any two federations could nominate someone.

Now this, really, is cheating.

But then - and this is the real "cheating" part - he got them to ask for this change to be applied retroactively (or do I mean retrospectively? Backdated, by any name) so that he could use it to sneak in to this year's election.

What a slimy little rat!

And not once, as far as I can tell, has he said "the reason I am going to these extraordinary lengths to remain UCI president, is that I am the best man for the job, and only I can lead cycling through this bad time and safely out the other side, to the overall benefit of cycling."

No, he just wants to stay in charge.
 
And the worst he can throw at his rival, Brian Cookson (who I have never met, never heard speak, but he runs British Cycling and has turned it around from a minor sport somewhere way below Darts to something that now gets news headlines in this country) is that Mr Cookson has not travelled around the cycling world and made lots of contacts with lots of federations in the way that Mr McQuaid has.

But  Mr Cookson is head of British cycling - and as such, I'd be pretty cheesed off if he were off wasting time on whizzing around the world, sucking up to other federations and being offered fake memberships in much the same way that universities give fake degrees to famous people. (And no, I have never realised why someone should get an honorary degree when they have not studied that subject.) I would expect him to do sufficient research visits to learn whatever was needed, but I would expect him to stay in the UK and get on with his job.

Mr McQuaid appears to be a sad, desperate, man (for "man" read "egotistical maniac/tyrant"), and I hope that he disappears without trace. Whether Mr Cookson will do a great job of it, or a merely mediocre one (blimey, who will be looking after British Cycling if he does?), he can't be any worse.