The Leopards May Yet Be Back!

Yes, Schlecklanders, it's all getting very exciting on the Sponsor front.

As we all know, Nissan withdrew sponsorship from RadioShambles due to Lance Bloody Armstrong and the doping admissions.

And RadioShambles themselves are no longer a massively profitable company, there have been many reports over the last year or more that they are taking losses, trying to work out how to update their image etc, and I have to say, about time -  I mean, "shack"? For that matter, "radio"? Not exactly a high tech image, is it?

As far as cycling is concerned, the name RadioShack is always going to be associated with L-bloody-A, along with the names US Postal and Discover.

I have previously suggested that the Leopards should dump the RadioShack name, to free themselves from this association, and now it looks as though I may have my wish, as RadioShambles have announced that they are removing sponsorship at the end of this season,  ( ha ha, so much for Mr Becca's announcement last month that the idea was "pure speculation" and that no-one from the sponsor had contacted him to discuss it *sniggers mightily* ) and that Trek will become the main sponsor.

The recent report also highlights the point that the only thing holding up is the deal is that Mr Becca, holder of the UCI licence, is trying to sell it to Trek but is demanding a high price: the report diplomatically describes it as "The two sides are struggling to agree on a price".

I assume that it would be a great deal easier to continue cycling with an existing licence than to apply for a new one, especially half-way through a season.. and the phrase "over a barrel" is coming to mind, along with such things as "blackmail" and "greedy" and "did you know nothing about cycling before you decided to buy a team?"

 Leaving aside my personal animosity for Mr Becca, who was supposed to be this great family friend who would open all doors and make all things possible, but has turned out to be ignorant of cycling (at a TTT - "those riders who couldn't keep up, send them home, they're rubbish!") and apparently ignorant of the concept that sponsorship does not mean "money-making enterprise" it means putting your money in to get exposure/publicity/better PR etc, and does not actually help someone who does not own a "brand", as it were. *sigh* Where was I? Oh yes, I think they'd do better without him. Thankfully they've already been able to dump Mr Bruyneel, so he's well out of the picture - anyone know what's happening to him? Anyone care? No, thought not.

So, what could this mean?

Well, we get rid of the horrible RadioShambles name, for a start.

I expect the kit would stay broadly similar.

The name? It would be nice to return to Lay-O'Pard Trek, but I suspect it would be Trek Leopard, - oh dear, we'll all be singing the terrible Trekking song... what's that? You don't know it? Shame on you! Settle down, then, I'll tell you all about it.

It started as a folk song called "I am the music man" which kiddies of my generation had to learn at primary school. The teacher would sing - "I am the music man and I come from down your way, and I can plaaaay" we would chorus "What can you plaaay" to which they would respond "I can play the (musical instrument, repeated three time)" and they would then do an impression of the named instrument.  They'd go through this routine again, with a different musical instrument, then repeating the first one (with us kiddies joining in) and the song would expand and expand.

Reasons for doing this, other than keeping kiddies  out of mischief on a rainy day? It taught us to listen and copy, it taught us the names of musical instruments that we would not encounter in our normal life (a tuba? who knew what a tuba was, at primary school?) and what they sounded like (well, a bit) . We learned to wait our turn, we learned to join in together - all sorts of good things.

Turn the clock forward several decades, Star Trek arrived, and the music man song resurfaced as the Star Trek Man, with the verses no longer musical instruments, but members of the crew. "I can play Lieutenant Uhura, Lieutenant Uhura, Lieutenant Uhura.... Hailing frequencies open, Captain, open, Captain, open, Captain," etc.

Turn forward another few decades, and someone made a pop song out of it, changing the opening chorus from "I am the Star Trek Man" to "Star trekking, across the universe, on the star ship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk *sniggering from all around* Star trekking, across the universe, only going forward, 'cos we can't find re-verse."

At this point, I tried to insert the video, but it doesn't seem to be working - here's a link to the video, but if that doesn't work, please go to yootoob and type in "Star Trekkin'  The Firm" and you will find it.

Makes me laugh every time - particularly the way it gets faster and faster!

I can't help thinking that we could adapt the lyric a bit:

Chorus:

We're Trekking, we're in the Tour de France
Sometimes we're behind, and sometimes in advance,
We're Trekking, we're in the Tour de France,
Leading out the peloton, they don't stand a chance.

Verses: here are some that come to mind off the top of my head, based on what our commentators tend to say:

He's gonna do a proper job, proper job, proper job; he's gonna do a proper job, do a proper job.

He's on the rivet, pedallin' squares, pedallin' squares, pedallin' squares; he's on the rivet, pedallin' squares, really pedallin' squares,

He's got the magic spanner out, spanner out, spanner out; he's got the magic spanner out, got the magic spanner.

Oh, look, a sticky bottle, sticky bottle, sticky bottle; oh look, a sticky bottle, whoops! Commisaire!

He's going large, he's super strong, super strong, super strong; he's going large he's super strong, he's really super strong.

Sky are on the the front again, front again, front again; and Sky are on the front again, they're on the front again.

Or, verses for individuals, perhaps:

Cavendish "Me team were -'king brilliant, brilliant, brilliant; me team were -'king brilliant, -'king brill-i-ant!"

Jensie: "Shut up legs,  Shut up legs, Shut up legs, Shut up legs: Shut up legs, Shut up legs, Shut up, SHUT UP LEGS!"

Sir Dave Brailsford: "We're looking for the marginal gains, marginal gains, marginal gains; we're looking for the marginal gains,  and we won Tour De France!!"

I'm sure that some of you can come up with better ones...

Andy Lubs Jil!

Well, we already knew that, but it's kinda sweet to be reminded of it.

Andy is finallly back on Twitter and sounds a  lot happier: possibly the news that they are getting rid of RadioShambles might have something to do with it?

Last week was TinkerJil's birthday, and he tweeted thus:

Meanwhile, a few days earlier, TinkerJil (who seems to fancy herself as the Black Swan now, judging by her avatar photo) put up this picture:

D'aaaw!

Come on, join in! And, if you look very closely at this photo, is that a teeny tiny slender little ring, on her slender little third finger?

Ever wondered what race commentators say...

...during the advert breaks?

I'm pretty certain that Magnus Backstedt has a jolly good cough - he seems to have been suffering a lot this year - and it's a fair bet that cups of coffee are collected, there might well be toilet visits, and possibly fag breaks.

But I've often wondered if they have little disputes among themselves -

"Oy, you, don't contradict me when I say that Andy Schleck is coming into form!"
"Look mate, I'm entitled to my own opinion!"

Or:

"Come on, I need some more input from you, I seem to be doing all the work."
"Well, don't ask me stupid questions about non-race related subjects, then, I'm only here to talk about the racing!"

Lately we've had the new partnership of Declan Quigley and Sean Kelly, and they are turning out to be a really good team. Declan seems to have the knack of getting Sean to talk - in the past, when teamed with David Harmon, Sean often didn't say very much.  Mind you, this could be due to Harmon's habit of posing very long, involved questions, and of giving both options for answers along with the questions.

For example:

Harmon: "So, Sean, we're seeing that Sky are using all their team to pull Bradley Wiggins back to the group, do you think they are hoping that Brad is going to recover and win the race, so they are prepared to sacrifice all the others for that goal, or is it possible that all this effort could be wasted if Bradley is not fit to continue, as they have now gone from having three riders in the top ten, to having none."
Sean: "Errrr..."

Declan just asks a question: "Sean, what do you think Sky are playing at?" and lets Sean answer it in his own words. And Sean now gives nice long, detailed answers, which are very interesting, and often very useful. Declan is also very respectful of Sean, never failing to introduce him with phrases like "that legend of cycling" and so on, which makes me think that they have a nice relationship, with just a little amount of hero-respect on one side.

But what do they talk about during the breaks?

On a recent stage of the Giro d'Italia, my wish came true, as Declan and Sean were clearly unaware that the advert break was over, and that they were back live on air.

Here's how it went: they were discussing the electronic gear shifter, as the race leader had just had to change bikes while leading the race..talking quietly between themselves...

Declan:  "You'd've thought they'd change the battery, or put the cable back in by now, something simple like that, pfff  "
Sean:  " Alto piano, that means hill of Slow, doesn't it. Ahh, great names."
Declan: (not interested ) " Two minutes and twenty, not a hope "
Sean:  (clearly still bemused by the Italian names) " Chusa Porte - that meant closed, strong - err,  "

There is a long silence.

Declan:  " Soooo - Bradley? Where is he? Looks like his number.. .looks like his shoes.... looks like his style. "

Another pause.

Declan:  " Evans, have we seen him? Pelazotti still there - for what it's worth, he's of little importance... Maglia Rosa, Evans, can't see, urr, " (presumably ticking off a list) "Still don't see him..."
Sean:  " There he is, look. " (presumably he points.) "Yup."

Another pause.

Sean:  " Three from Lampre MEREEEEEDA " (very over-enunciated)
Declan: *laughs* " Yeah, get it right,  " (sub-text: "Otherwise Cougar Girl will take the mickey") "Four from Sky, two from Movistar, two from AG2R - "
Sean:  " THREE from AG2R, two from Astana... "
Declan:  " Cadel, ok, thirty-five, " (counts)

Very long pause...

Declan:  *suddenly in strong voice* "Stage Ten of the Giro d'Italia....  "

A Death in the Sock Family...

Oh dear.

Just the other day, LLB told me it was time to stop wearing my much-loved Lux Ensign socks, as worn by Our Andy,  and even, back in happier times, Our Jakob.

"What!" I screamed, "There's plenty of life left in them!"

LLB gently pointed out that they were no longer blue-and-white stripes, but blue-and-grey: the red griffon was fraying at the edges: and - the final crushing blow - they were actually worn right through underneath.

Exhibit A:

Ah.

I have to admit, he's right: they are indeed worn right through.

Sob! Wail! Farewell to the Lux Socks....

Pink Knickers for the Giro!

I don't own a single pink t-shirt, so I am having to support the Giro by wearing pink knickers instead.

Moving swiftly on...

It finally started, hooray, and the first day was something like a crit, up and down the sea front at Napoli, and predictably, it had quite a few crashes, what with the peloton being so huge this year.

Why? Well, you'll remember that this year there is a team extra - 23 teams of 9, instead of 22 - due to the Dark Lord debacle. What was that? Well, the UCI didn't give the Dark Lords of Katusha a pro-licence, but they appealed, and round about March time, their appeal was upheld and the UCI were told to re-instate them in the Pro-Team league.

This would have meant throwing out one of the other teams to make room, and they obviously couldn't do that - well, pff, can you imagine the fuss? - so the Pro-Team league has an extra team this year - 19 instead of 18.

This caused something of a problem at the big UCI races, which normally take the 18 Pro-Teams, and offer four Wildcards to make the 22 teams: the Giro organisers had already dished out their four Wildcards, and were not prepared to take one of them back. Well, you can't blame them.  So they more or less told the UCI "You put us in this position, so YOU can jolly well allow us to have an extra team in the race this year" and the UCI had to allow it.

So that's why we have a simply enormous peloton in the Giro this year.  And, interestingly, we have still never been told why the UCI rejected the Dark Lords in the first place. We assume that it was due to their various doping allegation problems, but no-one seems to know...

The result of all this faffing around is not only more riders than usual, but more support vehicles than usual: and I think you've all heard my comments on the subject of too many vehicles! There have been several Incidents in recent years, with cars and motorbikes hitting riders, the worst of which is still the Tour two years ago, when Fletcha and Hoogerland were side-swiped by the French TV car, slamming Fletcha into the road, and catapulting Hoogerland over and through a barbed wire fence, needing 33 stitches and god knows how much pain and anguish for weeks or  months afterwards.

What was left of Hoogerland's backside

It's ironic, and hateful, that poor old Hoogerland was hit by a car again this year, in February, leaving him with multiple injuries including such horrors as a "bruised liver" (How on earth does that feel?) and "bone fractures to his spine" (is that not quite the same as a broken back, then? Bet it hurts just as much).

Amazingly, he bounced back again, and is riding the Tour de Picardie later this week. Go, Johnny,  Go!

Back to the Giro - with so many riders and so many vehicles, everyone was expecting a lot of crashes, and so far it's been quite bad, but no-one has been seriously injured, and no-one so far has had to retire.

Day One was the flat sort-of-crit, Day Two was the TTT which went off all right, and Sky won it ("Yay!") *waves  homemade Sky flags, now getting a bit tatty*, Day Three was long and flat right up to the last 70k when there were suddenly two enormous hills, causing a lot of puffing and panting, and some very-nearly alarming crashes: you  know, those ones where the hillside disappears at the edge of the road. The sort which, in films, the villians' car goes over, arcs through the air, then hits the ground a long, long way below. That sort of scenery.

Luckily, everyone who skidded off the road managed not to go over the edge, although there were quite a few ripped kits by the end of the day.

Talking of which, I wonder how long a cycling kit lasts? They seem to have the same bike from one end of the year to the other, but how long does a jersey last? I often wonder what proportion of a team's budget goes on kit: some teams have personalised kit, with the riders' names on it, which -as a spectator - I love: but it does mean they can't hand the kit around. Although Andy did do a TT in Frankie's skin-suit one year, or was it the other way round?  *shakes head, can't remember*. Most of the smaller teams don't have their names on their kit, so I guess they get more use out of it: also, I have noticed many times that members of the same team are wearing subtly different jerseys, and I have always assumed that each time there is a redesign (new sponsor, or just time to order another batch so let's jazz it up a bit) then the team leaders get the new kit, while the domestiques and neos have to wear the older kit? I don't actually know anyone who works in a cycling team, so I'd be delighted to hear about it, if any of you have information on that subject!

As far as the Schlecklanders are concerned, there's not a lot of interest in the Giro this year: no Andy, of course, no Frankie, no Jakob: luckily Sky have sent a good team so I'll be cheering for them.

Presumably Andy will be off to the Tour of California - as usual, RadioShambles are not updating their website until the day after the race starts.

*runs off to check RadioShambles site*

Yes, the calendar page is still empty, but they have a news item about Chris Horner being unfit to attend it, and they mention Andy by name, so I guess we'll take that as confirmation.

And I do hope to see some Lux flags out there... I've really missed seeing the familiar stripey flags at the roadside!