RadioShack really are in trouble. Shame.

Here's a bit of non-cycling news that could have a big effect on Our Andy:  Shack are in big trouble.

Their CEO,  James Gooch, has quit. Not surprising, as Shack's shares have tumbled 83% since he took over in May of last year.

83% !!!

For those of you who are not quite clear how much of a drop that is:

The report says that Michael Pachter of Wedbush Securities (who? And why is he competent to comment on this story?) said one problem facing RadioShack is its name, which conjures up images from another era.

“Radio is a concept from a hundred years ago, and a shack is a place that essentially homeless people lie in,” he said.

Well, good point, hadn't really thought about it in those terms.

Certainly this can't be good for their sponsorship of a cycling team - even though the cost of running a cycle team is negligible to a company of that size, it is no doubt considered an easy thing to cut, when cuts have to be made.

Out of interest, how does this relate to AndyFan satisfaction with RadioShack and their team management style?  I asked a random selection of Andy Schleck fans how they would rate their satisfaction with how Shack have treated riders and staff, since the merger:

Yes, I can see a clear correlation there, can't you?

So, what will we get next year?

Nissan-Trek?

Andy Schleck's astronomical chart: what a load of *******!

Hey folks, look what I found while checking out Andy Schleck Parameter of Legs:

http://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Andy_Schleck

I thought that this was far too good to keep to myself, and that you should all share in it's wonderfulness. 

And I quote:

"... you are nervous, expressive, lively and adaptable, with a quick mind and a good sense of humour. You are bubbling, playful, sociable, clever, curious, whimsical, independent, intellectual, flexible, ingenious, fanciful, imaginative, charming, cerebral, and you are into everything. You may also be whimsical, unfocused, quirky, superficial, indiscreet, opportunist, unmindful, selfish, sarcastic or mercurial."

This is somewhat similar to a Mystic Meg prediction, don't you think?

Note for non-UK readers: when the UK first started having the National Lottery, in order to try to make it interesting, they dragged in some weird woman in too much make-up, who would make a "prediction" each week. These were so bland that they were utterly useless, leading satirical comics of the time to do impressions of her giving a prediction along the lines of  "....this week's winner will be *long pause* a man.... *longer pause* or a woman."  End of Note.

Regarding his amorous activities, it suggests:

"Paradoxically, you are very charming and attractive but you are more interested in the game itself. Indeed, thrills of verbal joust, fun, the pleasure to communicate over and over again, remain the centres of your concerns."

Wonder what TinkerJil would say about that? Or, worse still, whoever did it clearly hasn't heard about her, as it goes on to say:-

"You clearly prefer to be a bachelor because you appreciate its hustle and bustle: outings, exciting parties or a wide range of encounters etc. However, when you meet with your soul mate, you turn into a pleasant and charming partner, although you may not be around too often!"

Andy's life path has been influenced, apparently, by the number 3.  Funny, I would have said the number 6, if anything, isn't that the number that has been his race number more than any other? Which, incidentally, will be my question if I ever have to speak to Andy in person: I thought it showed an in-depth study of his racing life, without being too stalker-y, don't you think?

Anyway, do enjoy the chart.... and do let me know how accurate you thought it was? *sniggers*

Tour of Britain: Done it! Again!

At last, the Tour of Britain was underway, LLB and I went to a couple of stages, and some of my predictions were coming spookily true...

Luke Rowe, for example, winning the first stage, and generally whizzing about the place. Go, Luke!

Mark "Marky Mark" Cavendish going for every sprint stage: check!

Bradley waving at the crowd and signing autographs along the way: ok, not terribly accurate on that one, he worked like a real domestique for days, then on the very stage that LLB and I went to, he went down with a stomach bug, drat. So we didn't get to see those famous sideburns in person this year.

Boy Van Poppel certainly did me proud - he won the overall points jersey, so well done to him.

I also mentioned John Herety who runs Rapha Condor - check! Saw him, in fact he nearly ran my foot over in the team car, but more of that later.

Didn't see Sean Kelly of An Post Sean Kelly team: but I saw quite a lot of team UK Youth, and Yanto Barker (pause for mild swooning) came 6th in the final stage, quite literally in front of me.

Sammy Sanchez - check! He's not as scary in real life as on the TV, possibly because I saw him on his way to sign in, so the scary corrugated forehead was not in sight, he was quite relaxed. And rather smaller than he appears on TV.

Orica Greenedge were there, saw them, got a musette, check! Did the "Call me" to the team car, got a big smile and a return of the gesture: check!

Team UK Youth: check! I have to report that Magnus Backstedt is a huge bear of a man, even allowing for the fact that, like all pro cyclists, he's lean: he's very easy to spot in the peloton! I think he's as tall as JVS (honorary Schlecklander Johan Van Summeren) but much beefier. I am now a confirmed UK Yoof supporter, or had you already guessed?

So, what are my impressions of a Start, then?

You might remember that last year, LLB and I went to a couple of stages of the ToB, we learned about good places to stand, how to find a good spot on the route, what fun TTs are, how close the cyclists get, and how to avoid being caught on camera - well, except for that one video - and we experienced a stage race, a loop, a crit, and a TT.

This year I specifically wanted to go to a start, and to go to a finish,

Our "start" was Stage 6, Welshpool to Caerphilly, and I had cunningly lured LLB on a short holiday, just a couple of days, to visit a couple of places in Wales that I had been wanting to see, and to just casually, on the way back, take in the start.

We agreed that we wanted to get to Powis castle nice and early, about an hour and a half before the start, so we left the hotel straight after breakfast and headed out.

There was I, merrily driving along the Shrewsbury by-pass, both of us full of Little Chef cooked breakfast, when suddenly I noticed a UK Youth car coming up on the outside. Followed by a UK Youth van. And then another UK Youth car.

Aha, the UK Youth team are clearly on their way to the event! I waved at them as they passed,  and was tempted to follow them, but they were pressing on a bit, and we weren't in a rush, so we let them go.

On arrival at Powis, we were quite surprised to see the queue of cars ahead of us, bearing in mind that we were good and early. Car parking was beautifully organised in a massive field, with lots of marshalls on hand to direct the stream of people up to the Castle - and there was a constant stream, far more than I would have expected for a mid-week, somewhat overcast day in the middle of Wales.

If you've never been to a start, I can tell you, the podium area is really, really, noisy! They seem to think that playing loud music is the way to get everyone excited, along with a hyper-thyroid children's TV presenter (well, that's what he sounded like) geeing everyone up.

They also bus in as many loads of schoolkids as possible - the younger the better. They rope off areas against the barriers right by the start for the schools, thus ensuring the maximum volume of screaming.

Not wishing to lose our hearing,  we strolled away from the start in search of team buses. There were only a couple on site, which rather surprised us: the three UK Youth vehicles, of course, and the big Garmin bus and their team cars. We did wonder where the UK Youth riders were: were they squashed in the back of the van? Surely it was a kit van, not a mini-van?

The Garmin bus was, obviously, getting all the attention: there was a significant crowd gathered around it on all sides. Slightly unfortunate then, that one of the mechanics decided to move one of the team cars, and didn't quite realise that the car park area was far from level. CRUNCH!!!!  Heads turned from all directions, and gales of laughter swept round the audience once they realised that no bikes had been harmed, just the bumpers of the two cars.

Luckily for the extremely embarrassed Garmin workers, the Deathstar appeared - you know, that huge Sky coach with the satellite dish on top.Apparently they have two of them, Deathstar 1 and Deathstar 2. Deathstar 1 does all the big races, the Tours and so on, while Deathstar 2 covers the less important outings. We were clearly being honoured with Deathstar 1, and it swept slowly into the parking area, like a gigantic black magnet that pulled all the spectators away from Garmin and the dented cars. I think the driver had planned to stop the coach next to the Garmin one, neatly in line, but he had to stop where he was, because of the huge crowd.

At that point, taking advantage of the sudden silence around the Garmin bus, I made my quivering way to the bus in my search for a musette. See Mumping of the Musettes for the gory details.

Shortly after the Deathstar, other teams started arriving, including - about half an hour later - the UK Youth hired minibus and the nauseating pink Wyndy Milla van, they being the company who supply the bikes. They've changed their logo from horrible pink:

 Yes, they used to sponsor a domestic team, and forced them to ride horrible pink bikes while wearing horrible pink lycra.

I have nothing more to say on this subject.

...to a very tasty Union Jack logo on white background, which is far, far nicer.

Sadly, their kit van is still pink, and now rather faded pink at that.  But as we know, the UK cycling scene is still at the bottom of the scale of popularity etc, so sponsorship, and therefore funding, is still hard to come by. Obviously, it's a lot cheaper to put up with the pink van than to have an expensive respray.

The UK Youth kit is likewise mostly white (cries of "No! Not white shorts!") although sometimes they wear black shorts with their white jerseys, of which I approve highly.

The time was ticking by... for a 10.30 start, it was a bit odd to see buses still rolling into the car park at gone 10 o'clock.  And hardly any signs of riders, just mechanics doodling around, checking bikes, and fending off nervous but determined Cougs who were mumping for musettes.

Oh, before I leave the subject of UK Youth, LLB and I did our bit towards supporting them: being first in, they were parked right at the top, by the big metal sign saying "Team Parking" or something similar. It was a heavy metal sign, but not quite heavy enough for a windy day in Wales: LLB and I looked at it and said "let's hope that doesn't fall over on the team car."  A little later, we were inspecting the bikes on the team car roof - they are a great deal chunkier than you would expect, btw - and the wind caught the sign, which started to fall over. Luckily, quick-thinking LLB caught it before it fell, and stood on it, to hold it upright, while I attracted the attention of one of the management team, and advised them about the sign.

They moved the sign away from their team car, and then additionally moved the team car back a couple of feet. We felt happy that we'd prevented an accident.

Even more so five minutes later, when, with a loud CLANG! the sign fell over, right where the car would have been.

Hey, we saved them money on their car insurance! And they have the nice mechanic to thank for it - if he hadn't kindly given me the musette earlier, we would not have been hanging around by their cars admiring the bikes, confident that they wouldn't shout at us to go away.

The buses kept rolling in, right up until about 20 past 10 - and don't forget, the start was due at 10.30, and I found this really weird. Presumably riders have done their warm-up on rollers at the hotel, or maybe on the roads, earlier on? They certainly would not have had much time at the start zone.

Note for would-be stalkers: not much point hanging out at the buses, everyone else is there and you will be just a face in the crowd. Plus, they keep the riders locked on the buses until the last minute, behind mirror glass......  however, they all have to go up to the  podium to sign on, and they do this very, very slowly indeed. So, if you want a good close look at them, work out the route between where the team buses are parked, and the start podium,  and get yourself somewhere between the two.

We found a nice spot on the lead-in road, settled down with flags and cameras, and watched everyone coming past once in order to sign on, then coming past us again to return to the team buses. Absolutely near enough to touch, if you really want to get yourself arrested for molesting a cyclist.

We saw most of the Sky guys coming past at least once - three times, in the case of  Jeremy Hunt - but no Bradley. We kept wondering where he was, and it wasn't until we got home and checked the news that we heard about him having to drop out due to a stomach bug.

There now follows a selection of the photos I took on the day, just to prove that I was there: my captions are below each one.

Magnus Backstedt, of UK Youth, coming back from the podium, fiddling with his shoes. Pity there isn't another rider in the shot, to illustrate just how very BIG he is!!

Oh, and yes, barriers on one side, but no barriers on the other side, you really could mingle with them, if you wanted to.

Liquigas coming back down.

Drat, I missed him. Sorry about that.

Endura racing, one of our domestic teams: merging with NetApp next season, which means they are going up to Pro Continental status, just as their star, Jonathon Tiernan-Locke, leaves them. Ironic, huh? Rumour has it that JT-L is going to Sky, but we don't know for certain yet.

Ah, that will be an elbow, then.Behind the elbow, Christian Knees! No, not really, it's VacanSoleil.

Sky's Jeremy Hunt.You can tell, he has it written on the side of his jersey.

Euskaltel - ah, dear little carrots. Sadly, one of them was dead within a week.

Team Great Britain: nice kit! Last-minute addition to the Tour, apparently.

My pet, Luke Rowe. Go, Luke!

Are you ready for a terrible religious joke? *in voice of thunder* And God cried out to Luke, crying "Luke! Luke!" But Luke never looked, and fell down an 'ole. OK, it works better when said in a northern accent.

Marky Mark Cavendish, not looking happy. He rarely does, actually.

Jeremy Hunt returning.

Oh, Jeremy Hunt going back up again. With a different UK Youth rider. (no arm warmers, did you notice?) Perhaps he's on escort duty. Funny, we didn't see him come down again...

Rapha Condor looking nervous.

Pff! That kit is even worse than that of Farnese...it's Node 4, in case you've never heard of them.

NetApp look nervous...

"Call me, maybe"  Drat, Christian Knees got in the way. Never mind, I'll catch them later.

The start line. As you can see, crowds of people.  Just after 10.30, nothing happened, and after a while the announcer-car came backwards up the start funnel, saying "Sorry, folks, slight delay, we're going to be about 15 minutes late in starting due to a technical problem."

LLB and I decided we'd had enough of the crowds, so we made our way along the route away from the start, until the crowds thinned right out, and there was plenty of room to stand right at the roadside.

We found a good  place at the head of the cavalcade, and (being me) I struck up a conversation with the Blackboard motorcycle. Well, with the rider and  passenger, obviously, not with the actual motorbike, that would be strange.

Coug: "So, Mr Motorcycle, how are you enjoying your participation in the Tour?"
Bike: "                          "
Coug: "Is it tough on the clutch?"
Bike: "                          "

Yes, best not to go there.

The blackboard girl was very nice, she was happy that the weather was improving, and that they were not likely to have to drive through deep puddles today, but commented that they - her and the rider - were now famous as they'd been on the BBC news following the Blackpool stage: apparently there was deep water on the road, and she'd lifted her legs up to avoid getting wet feet. We had to admit that we were away from  home on holiday, and hadn't yet watched that footage.

(But we did when we returned, and sure enough, there she was lifting her feet up - very comical.)

The chap on the front said it wasn't his first Tour, he'd been a motorcycle rider in the Giro and the TdF as well, in fact he was very experienced at doing it.  He said the worst part about working the Tour of Britain, apart from the girl on the back (who swiped him with her blackboard for saying it!) was having to work with some of the domestic teams, who were not as savvy as the Pro Team riders, and who would always try to take a draft from him.  He said that the pro riders didn't do that, they just kept on cycling.

The technical problem turned out to be the police outriders who were having problems with their radios, but new batteries had been found, and sure enough, ten minutes later, they got the word that all was ready, so we said goodbye, wished them well for the day, stepped back and let them make their way off.

The rest of the leading motorcade went past, then the cyclists, led by Team Sky:

And when the Orica GreenEdge car got to us, that was the moment when I gave the "Call me, maybe" gesture and received it back from the driver.

Proud!

It was a good time to do it, they were going really slowly, as they were still within the grounds of the Castle, well within the neutralized zone, and the driver's big smile made it all worthwhile.

And that was that! We made our way back to the car par field, and I was staggered to see how many cars were there. It was an enormous field, and it was completely covered in cars - there must have been way more than a thousand cars there, which is fantastic, and I'm really thrilled to think that so many people in Britain are now interested in cycling.

So there you go, that's the "start" done - check! - now just the finish to go.

RTL.lu discriminate against English speakers!

Barbara kindly provided a link to this RTL.lu story from earlier this month:



And here's the link to the article itself. I saw it at the time, and after a great deal of trouble, managed to locate the French language version, which I could then cut and paste into Google Translate as my French is, well, to call it "rusty" is a bit of an understatement. I can follow the gist of what people are saying, but I miss all the subtleties.

As far as I can remember (and if there are any Lux-speakers out there - Amanda, I am looking at you! - who would be kind enough to translate, please feel free to do so) it was confirming that he's had a lousy season and would rather forget it. But I might be wrong.

Annoyingly, I now can't find the French language version. Clicking on the French version on the webpage takes you to RTL 5-minutes, which seems to be a chopped-down version of the news, and - frustratingly - I can't find the same story. They have other Schleck stories for the date of the 17th, but not this one!

Oh, and the video on the original isn't working either.

Grr.

But the audio file is: of course, Andy is speaking his own language, but it's nice to just let the sound wash over you.....

Here is the cycling RTL-5-minute version, do feel free to dig around and let me know if you find the article in question.

I did find one story of mild interest - about Shack and their sponsors for next year. Yes, I know, I know, we don't like Shack, we don't particularly care about Shack.. other than the fact that Andy and Frankie are tied to them for another year, as is poor Fabian, who has been reported as trying to escape, but "his attorneys were unable to find a way to break the contract" . Other than paying a year's salary, of course, but that was estimated at 1.65 million euros, ouch!

Anyway, this story tells that Nissan, Shack and Trek are all still sponsoring the team next year - or at least, that's what they are saying at the moment - so they are keeping the three-sponsor name, despite the express wishes of the UCI. They are, however, losing two of the smaller sponsors, Sram and Giro.

Do we really care? Were Sram the ones responsible for Chaingate? I think not, so we're not really bothered. Of course, things may change hugely if Mr Bruyneel is "done" for doping/arranging doping, as per the Lance Armstrong case. Things might be very different indeed, mwaah haaah haaaa! 

Oh, they are also gaining Nike for off-the-bike shoes, if Google Translate can be relied on. What! No more orange shoe laces!?!

So what was I saying about RTL.lu? Oh yes, they are clearly discriminating against English-speaking fans, as they won't translate their website into English, but will only offer us a cut-down version, in French, which doesn't even have the article with the nice photo and the video... booo!

Mind you, *looks over shoulder to check the no-one is listening*  look what else I found. I put "Andy Schleck" into what I thought was the "search" box, hoping to get all the stories fearing Our Andy.

Instead I got this:

I've blanked out the details, but it does rather appear to give Andy's home address, and possibly phone number, as well as that of the family home.

And a nice little map to show us where they are.

Let's hope that crazy Italian Stalker Bitch doesn't find it.. oh, too late, she's already been on his doorstep, hasn't she? Let's hope the restraining order is still in place, then, eh?

The Mumping of the Musettes

Note for non-UK readers: "mumping" means asking for something of low value for free. Not stealing it, or demanding with menaces, just asking, sometimes slightly cheekily.

Now read on.....

Well, we did it: LLB and I went to two stages of the Tour of Britain this year, and fulfilled my ambition to attend a start, and a finish, of a stage race. Adding those to last year, when we did a mid-point of a stage, a Crit, and a Time Trial (right to the end, in the rain), that only leaves a Mountain stage to be attended, and we've done everything!

My additional not-so-secret agenda for the ToB was to get another musette or two, to add to my lovely Leopard Trek one.

In case you've forgotten, at last year's Tour of Britain I eventually managed to get one from the Leopard bus, with much fear and trembling, and a lot of pushing from LLB ("Go on, ask them!" "Nooooo, I'm too shy!" " Go on, get up there!" "Nooooo! I can't!" "Go on, just ask them, think what your fangirls would say if you didn't even go and ask." "Oh all right.")

As soon as I got home, the musette was converted into a handy shopping bag:



...and has been in almost daily use every since. And no, not once, NOT ONCE! has anyone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hey, nice Leopard bag!". So disappointing.

Anyway, (*pauses to wipe away a tear. Surely I am not the only Andy Schleck fan in the area??*) there we were at Powis Castle, Stage 6, nice and early, ready for the start, with time to kill hanging around the Team buses.

Team UK Youth were there, my "underdog" team for the Tour, so I waited until they didn't seem to be over-busy, picked out the youngest chap on duty, then approached them.

"Errrr, 'scuse me, I know you're busy, but-" (*big eyes*) "...I was wondering if there'd be any chance of having a musette - an empty one?" (*rising inflection, faint Leelu tone in my voice*) "I'd love one as a souvenir..." *voice trails off, bats eyelashes.*

It worked! The nice mechanic told me to "'Ang on a min," grovelled around in the back of the van and brought back an somewhat battered cotton bag. "Ooo!" I squealed like a complete girly, "Thank you very much!"



The nice mechanic leaned in, confidentially. "We call them the Bag For Life" he grinned. "Why?" I replied, with a slightly confused look. "Because they are so big," he said, "they're much bigger than everyone else's!"

Second note for non-UK readers: supermarkets in the UK, in an effort to wean us away from using millions of flimsy plastic carrier bags, now make what they call the Bag For Life, which is a bigger carrier bag, made of very sturdy plastic. The idea is that instead of lots of free flimsy ones, you pay 10p for a Bag For Life, use it instead of the free flimsy ones, then when it gets tatty, the store will swap it, free of charge, for a new one.

And yes indeed, the UK Youth musettes are huge! And please note the two handles, just like a normal shopping bag - clearly these bags have been designed and/or supplied by a company who have never seen a cycle race in their life. One strap, guys, one long strap so they can swing it over their necks, remember?!

Also, you might notice that it's a bit crumpled - yes, it was a second-hand bag, with mud and a partial footprint on it, possibly some sweat stains (not quite sure) and it contained some empty wrappers.

Awww, that's so sweet, UK Youth re-use their musettes!

Oh no - a horrible thought occurs to me - what if they were one bag short at the feed station? They are a charity, they have a really, really small budget....oops, perhaps I'd better make a donation after the race? Anyway, this bag is therefore ready for use, once it's had a quick wash.

Next was Garmin: I felt a bit sorry for them - they were the first big team in the parking area, crowds of people all around, someone decided to move one of their team cars and crash! it hit the other team car. Gales of laughter from the crowd, lots of glum faces from the mechanics. Oh dear, left in charge of the cars for half an hour and look what happens? Two dented bumpers. Oops.

Then the Deathstar arrived (Sky's big team coach, so called by Dave Millar, who is, we can guess, ever so slightly jealous) and the whole crowd flocked over to it, like metal filings to a magnet.

It was a bit sad for Garmin, really. One minute they were the "big" team, their posh coach and natty matching cars (now with matching dented bumpers. mwah hah hah!) utterly overshadowing the UK Youth's tiny little white van and odd mix of cars.

Next minute, cries of "Oooh, Sky!" and everyone had fled.

So I repeated the dialogue above, and the nice Garmin mechanic went round to their road van and found me a brand new musette:

"There you are," he said, "seeing as you asked so nicely."

So nicely? All I said was - well, you've already read the dialogue. Please and thank you did come into it, along with a smile: but it rather made me wonder how other people ask for things. LLB, when I reported this later, said that most people probably just stomp up to them and say, "gimme a bidon, mate," or something like that.



Here it is, very similar indeed to the Leopard Trek one, smartly printed on nylon, none of your rough calico bags for these big teams.

Next on the hit-list was the Orica GreenEdge bus. My third ambition for this Tour being, of course, to do the "Here's my num-bah, Call me maybe!" dance and get a response.

Sorry, did you miss that?

Where have you been!

With huge thanks to Brisbane Gal for bringing this to my attention, the Orica GreenEdge team did a spoof video of themselves miming along to "Call me, maybe", having seen the video made by the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. Oddly, LLB was familiar with the cheerleader version, but hadn't seen the Orica one.

It's brilliant, and as Brisbane Gal quite rightly said, that's what we want to see, a team having fun. Fun! Our poor Leopards used to have fun, but not any more *sniffle*.

In case you missed it, try this: or just type "Orica GreenEdge call me maybe" into google...

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEvX_vKDYEw&w=560&h=315]

So I bravely made my way up to the Orica bus (well, LLB had to give me a bit of a shove, actually), asked, but was told they were too busy, and to come back after the start.

Oh well, fair enough, lots to do, race to attend.. so we left them to it.

After the start, of course, by the time we'd made our way back through the crowds, all the Team buses were long gone...

...but on Sunday at Guildford, we located the Team Bus area, and I tried again. This time, success! They brought me out a musette, and proudly pointed to the front of it:



If you can see it, there's a piece of tape with Daryl on it.

"Daryl!" they beamed at me ("they" being the two rather italian mechanics, in case you were wondering).

I must have looked a little confused.

"Daryl Impey!" they chorused.

Yes, I know who Daryl is, but why are you giving me his musette? He's not even in this race.

Oh well, who cares! For your general information, I can tell you that the Orica GreenEdge musettes are a bit of a disappointment, being a) quite a bit smaller than Leopard/Garmin, and b) made of a woven nylon fabric that has a very odd texture to it.

Well, I won't be using that one for shopping. Pity, as it's quite the prettiest one - apart from the Leopard one, of course. *she says, loyally.*

Here we are then, a selection of freshly mumped musettes:



So there you go, all ambitions achieved. "All" ambitions? Yes, I did the "call me maybe" gesture to the Orica team car as they rolled away at the start, and the driver returned the gesture! Success!

Tour of Britain: Yay, go Sky!

OK, I'm a little behind in my reporting, sorry about that, but I'm rushing around like a mad thing trying to do all my work, study, and get ready for a few days off work to see a couple of Tour of Britain stages.

Regarding the Tour of Britain, as I found out last year, it's really strange to watch a cycle race in your own country. You get so accustomed to the scenery of Europe that it's really odd to see road signs you can read, and familiar place names.

There's a few key differences about racing in England: LLB and I were watching the first stage for quite a while, trying to figure out why it didn't look a "real" race, and eventually we came up with the following items:

1) Hardly any flag waving. Come on Brits, everyone in the country must have a Union Jack by now, get it out and get out there waving! Loyal Schlecklanders might remember that this time last year, LLB and I went to the stage in Wells, and we made friends with Derry, who was the only other person on "our" corner who had a flag to wave. Hers was an orange Rabobank flag, and she came up to chat to us, specifically because I was the only other idiot there with a flag. Mine, of course, was the hand-made Leopard flag, yay!

This year I won't be taking the Shack flag, for the obvious reason, instead LLB and I will have our home-made small Sky flags to wave discreetly. Or in my case, to wave like a loony.

2) Less screaming from the fans. Come on girls, Yanto! Scream!

3) No cowbells. Hmm, guess they haven't caught on in the UK yet.

4) No running alongside the riders. We're a bit repressed over here. Give it time.

5) No inflatable clapper sticks. We don't have the "caravan" that gives stuff out, so we seem to lack things like clappers, big wavy hands and so on.

6) No blocks of spectators wearing team colours: in fact, not many people wearing team kit, or team colours.

7) Fewer cyclists in kit watching. Ah, that will be due to the UK having fewer cyclists! But the numbers are growing....

8) Hilarious/shocking disregard for the rights and safety of the cyclists by local motorists: there are cars parked all over the roads, honestly, have they never watched a cycle race? All those metal bikes with sharp metal edges, whizzing past your parked car ... there's no way I'd leave my car on the roadside!

9) Oh, and a strange lack of bunting (hanging triangular flags) in the villages.

Anyway, what about the race:

It always amuses me to see the difference between continental racers and the Pro-Teams. At one point, Rapha Condor Sharp - well respected in UK cycling - were on the front, five blokes all pulling for all they were worth, really moving it along: until you notice the Sky boys behind them, sitting up, laughing, chatting, drinking, and eating. Barely breaking a sweat.

At the end, it was a bit sad that we can clearly only afford one podium girl, but she was quite dishy, and she worked very hard to get everyone in the right place, handing over the right trophy and zipping up the jerseys.

And what a podium it was - Go, Luke!! I couldn't believe it, my pet neo-Pro won the stage! Amazingly for such a young rider, he kept his head when Cav crashed (no-one has said it, but I think Tyler Farrar side-swiped him) and just kept going, to take the stage! Fantastic stuff, well done Luke.

Right, LLB and I are off tomorrow, on our short "holiday" to zip around the middle of the country and see a bit of the ToB. Don't expect me to respond to comments for a couple of days, I'll be too busy being out there watching it!

Tour of Britain: it's upon us!

Yay! My local race has finally started, and my initial impressions include the obvious Why Didn't Shack Come, along with a side order of "why didn't Andy come and watch, even if he can't ride?".

I did offer to let him wave my flag! I even offered to let TinkerJil wave the little flag!

Leopard came last year, we all remember poor Jensi taking a tumble on one of the first days and breaking bones: Shack don't seem to be interested in coming to Britain - huh, maybe we're just too small for them. Pfff! Yar boo sucks to Shack.

Anyway, moving on from that crushing disappointment, the start list made interesting reading: as usual, only a handful of Pro Teams, many of whom were quite open in saying that they were using this race as training for the Worlds, which start in a fortnight.

So, teams we know:

Sky: My Team! I will be waving my home-made Sky flags, both out on the road, and at home watching it on TV. Yay for Sky!

They are sending Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish, and I hereby predict that Marky Mark will be going hell for leather for every sprint going, and Bradley will be sitting up and waving at the crowds, rather in the style of Her Majesty. In fact, he will probably be stopping to sign autographs on the way. Yes, I don't think he will be seriously racing, I think he's there just to fly the flag and Be Seen, and why not, he's done more for British Cycling than anyone else.

Also riding are Bernie Eisel, of course, joined at the hip to Cav as always: plus Jeremy Hunt (last season, retiring soon), Christian K-nees (always said in a Monty Python-esque voice) and my pet, Luke Rowe. He's a little sweetie who's just joined Sky as a neo-pro this year, having mostly been riding track, or for small domestic teams. We saw him in the Revolution track events earlier this year, having his first win for Team Sky, and he was about as cute as you can get, all big eyes, big grin, and "cor, can't believe I've only just joined this big team and look, mum, I won!" Can't wait to see how he gets on, on the road.

Euskaltel are here, bizarrely: what on earth do a Basque team of climbers want, coming to cold, cold, and nearly flat Britain in September? Oh, Sammy Sanchez, wanting to prep for the Worlds. Mmm, that makes sense. Haven't heard of any of the others

Orica Greenedge *points to backside, sings "Here's my numm-bah, call me!" * are sending a small team of just five (not six like everyone else). Alas, no Stuey, or Svein Tuft, but I shall be shouting for them anyway. Go, Roos!

Liquigas are sending Basso - again, probably prepping for the Worlds.

Vacansoleil are sending a bunch I've never heard of, and Garmin Sharp are sending Tyler Farrar, (of whom I have heard, but "over-rated" is my view on him) and the left-handed Sep Vanmarcke, now an honorary Schlecklander for changing his mind about joining Shack, ha ha ha ha!

Non-Pro teams include:
Endura Racing, who I've heard of.
Node4 - Giordana Racing: nope, never heard of them.
UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling: we know them, they are bringing Boy Van Poppel, son of Man Van Poppel and possibly Woman Van Poppel.
Saur Sojasun: well-known, unpronounceable.
Team IG - Sigma Sport: errr, must be a domestic team.
Team NetApp: know the team, don't know any of their riders.
Rapha Condor: one of the better-known UK teams, run by John Herety who is frequently a visitor/commentator in the Eurosport studio, so we know him quite well.
AN Post Sean Kelly: famous team! Well, we know Sean Kelly quite well, he's often commentating on the races. I can't imagine how proud-making it must be to have your own actual name on the back of the shirts. Even Mr Tinkov, for some unknown reason, spelled it Tinkoff on the backs of the jerseys. Hmmm, Team Cougar Girl? Team Auntie Coug? Leopard-Coug? Captain Coug Racing? Maybe not....
Team Raleigh - GAC: another unknown small team, but of course the name of Raleigh is immensely famous.

Team UK Youth: yay! They get a special mention, as they are my "underdog" team. I've always enjoyed Magnus Backstedt as a commentator, and I'd accepted him as a knowledgeable "former" rider, who occasionally rode a tandem for charity. Now he's racing again! And with Yanto Barker!



Yes, I quite like Yanto Barker. At last year's ToB he was commentating from the back of one of the motorcade bikes, and doing interviews with the riders and he rather endeared himself to me, so he's an honorary Schlecklander, too. Go, Yanto! Go, Yoo-Kay-Yoof!

Lastly, there is Team Great Britain - hmm, not the most inspired name for a team. I have no idea who they are or where they've come from, but they do appear to have kindly been loaned the Team GB skinsuits from the olympics, so - confusingly - they are wearing they super stripey red-white'n'blue kits with SKY all over them.

This should confuse viewers who are new to the sport!

Look out Becca, we're coming to get you....

Interesting news yesterday - Geox, remember them from last year? Let down by one of their sponsors, causing the other one (Geox) to run away like cowardy custards, so the team folded, despite having Cobo, winner of the Vuelta that year, in their team, along with Menchov and Sastre.

Oh, and they had the scary high-lighter yellow kit, somewhat similar to Farnese-Vini, that well-known British team.

So, what's happened? The Swiss courts have confirmed the earlier judgement of the Court of Arbitration of Lugano (Who? No, I have no idea either...), and, it was announced, have awarded Team Geox's owners 6.3 million Euros.

The report said:

“The Federal Supreme Court of Switzerland, highest judicial body of that country, has condemned TMC Italia SpA definitively and with damages charged for its behaviour during the 2011 cycling season"

So that's one in the eye for sponsors who make promises of money over several years, and who fail to cough up the cash...

...Mr Becca, are you listening?