Stinkoff 2015 kit... meh.

*rolls eyes* Here we go again, first new kit for the new year - apart from the French Army camo kit, of course - and already they are falling foul of Auntie Coug's Don't Do It Kit Rules.

To remind you, these rules include:

1) Have a big distinctive logo on the top of the back for helicopter shots.
2) Don't waste anything on the stomach area as you can't see it when they are riding.
3) Ditto the back pockets, as they are covered by race numbers (Garmin, take note).
4) Print the team name in big letters across the tops of the shoulders, highly visible in head-on shots.
5) Scrap the asymmetric kits!! It's annoying!!
6) Put the rider name in big letters sideways on the near-side of the jersey. Not in tiny letters on the collar, we can't read those.
7) Put the sponsor name along the thigh - nice and clear. Have it heading downhill on the right leg, uphill on the left leg.
8) Remember the highest proportion of tv coverage is from a camera bike on the near side.
9) Watch some damn footage!!
and finally 10) avoid groinal emphasis - please! please! - and white shorts.

Stinkoff have failed on point 10, they have gone for the total groinal emphasis look:

Ugh! I hate this, it makes them look ridiculous and surely does nothing to bring new young men into the sport.

It's bad enough having to admit that you wear lycra to compete in it, without looking as though you are wearing a nappy.

Oh, and finally, to go back the the Auntie Coug Rules for a moment, kit designers should give some thought to national jerseys: it would be good if the UCI issued a ruling that national jerseys have to have some relationship to the team colour.

Although I really loved the Captain America suit, and I was pretty struck with the Team GB kit, I would really prefer that National jerseys were just a big panel with the national flag in it. Fabs looked great with the Swiss flag on his back, it was eyecatching and obvious, but you could still see what team he rode for.

As you can see, above, Stinkoff have given Sagan (and Valgren, Danish champ) totally different kits, and it annoys me to heck that they have made a gesture towards team solidarity by including the yellow leg bands, but they have failed even at that, because instead of one yellow and one blue (check the photo) they have given him two yellow bands. Why?! Why?! Consistency, chaps, for heavens' sake!!

*goes off to sit in corner and harumph about it for a while*