French Army Team - conti - in camo!

This report made me laugh out loud, and proved a good antidote to the Ass-t'na doping fiasco: the French army have put together a pro cycling team and have been given a "special" Continental licence by the FFC (French cycling federation).

We're unlikely to see them, as they'll only be racing at Conti level, and we barely get all of the World Tour races on tv, but frankly we'd be unlikely to see them anyway, as their kit is - yes, you've guessed it, the title was a bit of a giveaway, wasn't it? - is a variety of dpm or camouflage.

(dpm is the proper name for it, it stands for something like Disruptive Pattern Material, ie it breaks up the outline of person, plane, tank etc making it less easy to see)

Here it is:

Hilarious, eh?

Once again, I have to say, do these kit designers never actually see any racing? Do they actually look at what they are doing?  The plain panels on the outsides of the thighs might well be there for sponsor names, but it looks as though each rider has a large black frog, or possibly a bull with big horns, sitting on his groin.

Not nice.

I don't know if it is accidental or not, these groin-emphasising designs, but it makes me quite uncomfortable (or makes me snort with laughter through my nose, disastrous if drinking while watching racing) and I don't think it enhances the image of cycling. I'd love to be able to ask some kit design houses about their choice of design, and their apparent disregard of visibility while the kit is actually working on a real body, on a real bike.

And please note the rider second from left, who is ruining the entire effect by wearing fluorescently bright orange shoes.....