Tuesday 5 April 2011

Day Trip to Flanders

Yay! Go Fabian!



Day Trip? Well, come on, you can't really call it a "Tour", can you? One day? I know Flanders isn't exactly a huge place, but still...

Also known as Ronde Van Vlaanderen, the Unofficial Belgian National Championship started in 1913 and, since changing it's date so as not to clash with Milan-Sanremo, it's become quite a big thing, with narrow lanes, cobbles, steep twisty climbs, and lots of them, all close together. It's the race where you sometimes see pictures of riders pushing their bikes - because if one rider falls or fails, everyone behind him comes to a dead halt and they just can't get pedalling again.  Mmm, think I'll have a go at it.... "not".

So, despite initial disappointment that it was only one day, we settled in front of LLB's tv with big mugs of tea, piles of biscuits and fluffy teddy-bear slippers (*waves to Hippi and Hoppi*) to enjoy watching Fabian Cancellara flatten everyone again, Live! yay!  and here are my Random Thoughts (as Miss FeeDee says!) on the race..

On Eurosport, we started in the studio, with comments and introduction from Rob Hayles, right - this is about the only photo I could find of him smiling - who is a former track star as well as road cyclist, and often has interesting comments to make.

LLB says he ought to be more animated, and I have to agree, he is a bit on the deadpan side, but I enjoy listening to him. Had to laugh, he says "Lay O'Pard" instead of Lepper'd, but we don't know why, and no-one else mentioned it.

LLB and I have speculated in the past that some people are kowtowing to the Lay O'Pard camp for political reasons: Leopard may well decline interviews or not give preference to journos etc who don't pronounce it "correctly".

Side Issue: In my opinion, letting Trek issue that press release was the stupidest thing they did, and whichever PR person thought of it should be shot. They would have been well within their rights to make a statement saying that in Lux/europe generally, it's pronounced Lay O'Pard and that's what they'd prefer to hear, but they should never have tried the ridiculous CAPITAL LETTERS  business.

Leaving that aside, they really should have given some thought to how the rest of the English-speaking world would pronounce it. In the same way, within Luxembourg they call it Letzeburg (with umlauts that I can't easily do) but they accept that the rest of the world calls it Luxembourg. Sometimes they call it Lux too: I seem to remember Andy tweeting about going home to Lux. Not home to Letz.  Oh, that was in the days before I broke Twitter, of course.So, you'd think that they would a) realise that the entire English-speaking world was going to say Lepper'd, and b) accept it.

I still want to be there the first time that a team member calls it Lepper'd!

But I digress. Not a surprise to anyone who reads this regularly.

Our coverage on Eurosport started at 123kms to go, and there was Stuey! At the front! With Wouter Weylandt and Young Dominic, Mr Orange Head himself! Confusingly, Dominic and Wouter were both wearing hideous orange glasses: oh Dominic, keep your hat on, or they will clash!

Once we went to live pics, the commentators changed to David Harmon and Sean Kelly, and David Harmon mentioned that he had been asked to write an article on How To Make Cycling More Interesting To Watch.
Well, here's a suggestion, get some common sense into the team kits: organise some sort of central office who keeps a record of team kits, so when a team is making a new kit, or changing an old one, they can see what everyone else is doing, and can decide whether or not to adjust their kits accordingly. I am certain that if Leopard, for example, knew that Garmin were radically changing their kit to black/white/same shade of blue, making three teams with very similar kits, they would have re-thought theirs.

Also, I think that watchers would be more interested if they could pick riders out for themselves more easily: Sky started it with having the rider's name on the side panel of the jersey: I'd go a step further and ask for the rider's name to be very prominent on the side and on the shoulders as well - so we can see it from the front as well as the side. After all, footballers do it, and there are less than two dozen of them. We have nearly 200 to sort through! Maybe something on the hats could be changed? Perhaps each rider could be allowed to personalise the back section of his hat? All comments welcomed, and the best ones will be forwarded to the UCI.

Talking of the UCI and the race radios ban, we had a lovely gimmick in this race - webcams in four of the team cars, so we could see and hear what they were saying on Race Radio.  The teams were Garmin, Quickstep, Saxo and Omega Pharma Lotto.

Why? When radios are just about to be banned, why bother with this? Were they perhaps trying to prove that they are only used for safety reasons? Well, that backfired, as we clearly heard the Garmin DS telling his guys not to work, while Fabian and Chavanel were storming away out the front. Intriguingly , he seemed to feel the need to explain these tactics: you can read his rather defensive comments here in Velonation, if you are interested. Otherwise the only good part was watching Uncle Bjarne Riis having his head hugged by his driver when Nick Nuyens just made it over the line. Who, we wondered, was steering the car at this point? I was expecting a report at any second to say that several riders had nearly been mown down by an out-of-control team car, but it appears they were lucky. And yes, they were moving, you could see the scenery moving past.

This was a very interesting race from the point of view of Peloton Dynamics (oh dear, I can see you all running away in dismay - come back! I'll put in a picture of Andy!)



Here he is, rolling his own.

Note for non-UK readers, "rolling his own" means making cigarettes by rolling up loose tobacco in filter papers.

Is usually done by men well over the age of 70, and by young "chavs" ( short for "mentally/morally/socially retarded blokes" ) who are trying to look "hard" or "tough" by pretending that they are adding substances other than just tobacco to their cigarettes.

The thought that Our Glorious Leader would smoke roll-ups is just so ridiculous that I don't even need to emphasis that This Is A Joke.

So, Peloton Dynamics. Well, I know a lot about this, as for the first several years that I watched pro cycling, I didn't really watch individual riders at all, I just used to watch the play of colours within the peloton as the teams formed, broke up, reformed, moved up and down, etc.  I'm sure someone has written a very dull paper on the subject, drawing contrasts between Peloton Dynamics and the Brownian Motion that we all remember from school.... but you can clearly see, in the helicopter shots, how the teams form and reform.

Normally, the middle of the peloton surges forward, and people drop off the sides, being re-absorbed or falling right to the back.

But in Flanders, in these very narrow lanes, where the cyclists are all fighting to get to the front, they use the road gutters, the pavements (if in town), even the grass verges, in order to avoid getting squashed and risking falling. So, in the helicopter shots, you can clearly show them making their way fast up the outsides of the peloton! Fascinating stuff. A typical conversation on our settee went like this:

"Oh look, two of them are going round the outside."
"Round the outside?"
"Round the outside."
"Two buffalo boys go round the outside" etc

There was a lovely moment when Joost Posthuma - recovering well from his earlier crash - was in the front of the peloton approaching a tight corner and, along with several others, totally failed to take the corner. Wups! Luckily no-one fell off, but he lost several places in the peloton thanks to that, and it must have affected his rhythm.

On other random thought that has occurred to me before, is to feel sorry for the mobile Marshalls, the ones who stand on traffic islands gesturing with a yellow flag as to which side of the obstruction would be the preferred route. It must take a lot of nerve not to flinch when the entire peloton is bearing down on you, and you are armed only with a whistle and the yellow flag. No wonder they keep their helmets on. Personally I'd be wearing shin-pads and a body-protector as well! I wonder how often they get clobbered?

Actually I quite fancy doing that, if I had to pick a job within a cycle race - that's assuming that several of you have already beaten me to the Wet Sponge option. I mean, you get your own motorbike and high-vis bib, and you get to whizz around in a group, up the back roads from one set of obstructions to another: then you stand there and risk being trampled on for five minutes, then back on the bike and whizz off to the next danger spot. What fun! I imagine they are all fully radio'd up, so there would be cross-chat and gossip during the intervals, and the occasional panic: "Base to RoadRat 15! Get over to [name of small village] immediately, there's a nasty traffic island that needs an attendant!" Yup, that would just suit me.


Talking of roundabouts, had to add this - did anyone else see the, er, incredible roundabout art:

It appears to be made up of dead bicycles, so I'm not entirely sure what it is saying about their committment to pro cycling.

Perhaps it's a temporary thing, and all the townspeople bring their pushbikes along on the day, then come back the next day and reclaim their property.

Possibly an opportunity to upgrade, ha! ha!

At this point I'd like to add a quick word of support for David Harmon the Eurosport commentator at this point, harking back to the double question of making the races more interesting, and the kit conflicts. He was excellent in saying things like "So-and-so riding for Rabobank in the orange and blue" and "so-and-so in the blue with yellow shoulder flashes, that's VacansOleil." On the one hand it's a nuisance that we need this level of help in spotting the riders, but on the other hand, thank you David Harmon!

Finally, I get back to the actual race: what an exciting race to watch! All that narrow stuff, all those streets, and as for Fabian's enormous effort, what can I say? Actually the shouted conversation between the Quickstep team car and the Leopard team car says it all: the Quickstep DS was yelling out of the window, "He's too strong!"   And considering that he's not a sprinter, Fabian did an amazing job right at the very end there. Great ride!

Was it my imagination, by the way, or did Fabian slip a gear on one of the final hills? Drat, I don't know which one, but it was when Gilbert attacked. Fabian went to respond and it looked as though he faltered, just for a moment: he looked down at his bike, then he was up, up and away again.

I'm very pleased to be able to talk about a race soon after the event instead of being a fortnight late.. next week we are recording the Basque Tour - which actually has a really catchy and singable name, what was it again?  (*pause for googling*) Vuelta Ciclista al PaĆ­s Vasco. That was it. Great name... "not". But next weekend we have Paris-Roubaix live on Sunday, so we will be watching that one as it happens. Which means that we won't have enough time to watch all the Basque footage... and Team Schlux are sending a dream team: Frankie, Andy, Jensi, Jakob, Steff'n'd'neff'll, MM, Anders and Little Fab. It's going to be impossible not to read the cycling news this week! Perhaps we'll save it for later in the month when there isn't as much to watch live..

And finally finally: did you know: since 1993 the cobbled ways have been protected by law - and this is all thanks to cycling!

25 comments:

  1. Yes, the LAY OH-PARD thang is all very silly, but that's how they say it.

    You are a Brit, right? Listen to an American say "jaguar" sometime . . . it might just be one of those things where two English-speakers say it differently. Actually, I was going to blame the Brits and chalk it up to a British pronunciation of "leopard." So I'm pleased to see you don't say it that way and find it goofy, too.

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  2. Coug,

    Somebody apparently circulated your memo about shooting the Leopard Trek PR person(s)--I say this kind of silliness could only have been made possible by a team effort.

    See: http://bikehugger.com/post/view/team-leopard-trek-guidelines-f

    It kind of puts me in mind of Ralph / Wraith / Rake, etc whatever Fiennes' name. Man, I remember when The English Patient was nominated for all kinds of awards, and the North American press thought it was a lark to make a show of enunciating Ralph's name just-like-so.

    I don't agree with the author linked above, that it's all an exercise in pretension, I do think enforcing its pronunciation necessarily invites ridicule. Then again, I say this as someone named Susan, who objects being called Susie, so I do understand why they're being such sticklers about it.

    I can't wait to see the Versus coverage of the Tour de France, just to listen if Phil Liggett MBE, will say, in a stilted English accent, "Andy Schleck of team Lay O'Pard Trek"--it sounds like a child's nonsense rhyme, or one of the introductory phrases of a really bad German language course called: "I'm only learning German because of the Schlecks 101", course code SCHLECKSPEAKGER101

    Not that I would ever do something so patently absurd! *consults Lonely Planet German phrasebook* Wirklich! :P

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  3. Hey Expatresse, yes, I'm a Brit, solid Londoner, slightly on the Joyce Grenfell side, and I have always said it "lepper'd". Jaguar has always been "Jag-yew-arrrr", and when I worked for Nissan ("Niss-ann") we were next door to the Jaguar team, and no-one there ever, ever, said "Jag-waaaar" in that dopey american way.

    Was I right to assume that in Lux/Europe, the word is normally pronounced lay-o-pard?

    Figgy, thanks for that link, very much what everyone was saying at the time, not least being us in Schleckland: many and varied were our splutters when that memo was first circulated. Most of us thought it was a spoof! I like Bikehugger's timetable for the meeting, very "me"!

    Ralph Fiennes? As far as I'm concerned he's "ralf" and that's it. I mean, yes, I respect people wanting proper pronounciation, or not wanting abbreviation, but honestly, if you spell it the normal way, you can only expect it to be pronounced the normal way. Spell it "Raif" if that's what you want to hear. Mind you, have you seen the full thing? Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, no less. Life is too short to have that on your cheque-book.

    And in case anyone is wondering about Leelu. FeeDee, Gnasher etc, if anyone objected to my version of their name then OF COURSE I wouldn't use it any more. Luckily most people are moderately happy to have a pet name.... (*looks nervously over shoulder to duck any slings and arrows that might come this way*). After all, I stopped called Frankie Froink, didn't I?!

    In my opinion, then, there's a difference between ensuring the proper pronunciation, and insisting on a pretentious pronunciation, and Trek overstepped that line when they specified capitals, and tried to tell us not to say Team Leopard. If they'd stuck at just "please say lay O'Pard" they might have managed it!

    Re-reading your comment, Figgy, I think that "Andy Schleck of Team Lepper'd Trek" scans better, and would definitely be on Day 1 of the Schleckspeaker course. Where do I sign up for that? It's not being held in Lux, is it? (*looks anxious, you all know why*).

    BTW, Lux 352 were recently plugging language lessons: dear old Cathy Reay did one of her super 150-word-max articles on it - in English - with a link to the website of the Lux language school, telling us to go there to find out about the correspondence course as well as the sit-at-desks course. Guess what, the entire language school site was in Luxemburgisch, couldn't read a word of it. I sort of feel they missed the point....

    Coug
    (to be pronounced Koooooog, with a hard "c" and a long "o", the "u" is silent but the "g" is not, if you please. Thank you.)

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  4. I enjoyed reading that.... very interesting about the names on shirts...that would be cool!! Sometimes after I've been looking at photos of peleton for too long, they all just become these strange looking creatures with plastic heads and 'fly eyes'...hahaha, I know that sounds odd. It would be cool to be able to distinguish them in some way, instead of hopelessly looking for the occasional national jersey or whether a certain rider wears one colour of sunglasses/socks...

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  5. In the Netherlands we say luipaard and translated it just means: lazy horse.

    Joost Posthuma did in fact go down on that corner and had to withdrew because of a light concusion to his brain and bruises on his chin. For now he has a light headache, but is still confident to ride "Schelde" and PR

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  6. Hey Karalara, "fly eyes", yup, you are not alone, that's how I see them. I am getting to like the Movistar helmets, by the way, as they are now quite easy to spot!

    Incidentally, I tend to pronounce that team as "moovie-star" but I notice that the commentators usually say "mauve-ey-star". I think I might have been wrong on that one...

    Oh, Barbara, nice translation! (what does "cougar" translate as, I wonder? No, don't tell me!)

    Poor Joost: but are you sure that's where he went down? We saw him beside the road much earlier in the race, standing by his bike having crashed. Then when they went round that corner, he had to put a foot down, and I think he might have come out of the saddle, but I'm pretty sure he didn't hit the ground. They all just swept themselves round and back onto the road, losing time but not actually falling off.

    Either way, "Poor Joost!" and big hugs for him (he can pass any spare hugs on to Andy).

    Coug

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  7. This was an interesting post to read xD.

    I do agree that if they asked rather than ordered a specific way of pronunciation, someone may have actually listened xD. Now knowing I shouldn't be doing that only makes mispronouncing more fun hehe.
    And the commentators are right on mauve-ey-star.

    Not a bad idea, writing riders' names on their shoulders. Even though I don't have a problem spotting teams anymore, a particular rider is another story.

    I see you also share my opinion on those cameras not doing any favors to race radios. Garmin played exactly by the scenario that banning them was supposed to avoid. Not very bright people, if you ask me... I mean, they knew they're being taped.

    That hill where Gilbert attacked is caled Muur. I thought Fab mush have slipped a gear too, but then I found a link saying that he cramped.

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  8. Coug,

    Not related to Flanders, or indeed cycling (so what else is new, this is coming from a person who had to look up "parcours") but I just realised, if the Schlecks wanted to consider post-cycling careers that don't involve becoming commentators, they could market language-learning software to rival Rosetta Stone. Consider it, Schleckspeak German! Schleckspeak French! Schleckspeak Danish, featuring Jakob Fuglsang! I wouldn't recommend actual classes, because I personally would learn ABSOLUTELY NOTHING if any one of these people were the instructors. Also, Andy once spelled "Lions" as "Loins". An unfortunate typo, but characteristically "him" somehow. :)

    Then again, about the only German phrase I retained from Rosetta Stone was: Ein junge unter einem flugzeug.

    My question is, what is the "junge" doing under the airplane?

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  9. Fiddling with the hydration system?

    Cristin, thanks for the name of the hill (I can never remember them all), aha, so he cramped, did he? Did anyone offer to rub it better for him?

    Coug

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  10. Lol, rub it better. That made me laugh so hard xD ;-)

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  11. I checked out at his blog where Joost P. actually fell down and indeed it was somewhere else. It was before the Kruisberg (Mountain of the cross) that he fell on his chin and looked completely KO and forgot what happened exactly. Today he rode in the Scheldeprijs but quit after 185 km because of headache.

    Cougar just means puma = poema in Dutch and a poema is just a bergleeuw = mountainlion. Sometimes there are articles in the newspaper about certain women who are called cougars, but I never read them and I can't imagine that they have anything to do with you (or me), because I don't think you climb mountains (or so) for a sport...

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  12. Hey Cristin, I did wonder how many fangirls would offer to rub Fabian's crampy leg muscles better.. I thought I might have to start a queueing system. Or issue numbered tickets. But you are first in line, if you want to....

    Barbara, I don't fancy being a poema (coug=puma in English, too) but I quite like bergleeuw, sounds like a burglar who put his hand in something disgusting.

    Ha! ha! I like you being sweet! Of course that's where the name CG came from, women of a certain age who prey on much younger men (*pulls scary fang face and makes claws with fingers*). I suppose it should have been Cougar Woman (too much like Batman's rather older sidekick) or Cougar Lady (*gnnffff! I'm not exactly ladylike in my big boots, baggy shorts, scratched and bruised limbs and broken fingernails*). Cougar Girl makes me sound young (*dances around the room flapping hands artistically in the air*).

    I don't climb mountains, but I have clambered up Edale once or twice - small range of hills in the Peak District, very pretty, not terribly steep).

    Oh, and PeeDee, to redeem myself in your eyes, I used to have a boyfriend who played Ice Hockey, so I have been to any number of games, does that count as watching sporting events? But I was part of the crew, not sitting out in the audience, so I'm not sure if it counts..

    Coug

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  13. Oops, missed a bracket there. Early morning typing fingers!

    Cristin, by the way, (*pulls surprised face with raised eyebrows*) I don't quite see why the thought of rubbing Fabian's cramp should make you laugh? (*trying to keep straight face*) Surely you know that the best thing for cramp is to either stretch it out, or rub it VERY FIRMLY.

    Bergleeuw

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  14. Hey Bergleeuw! Thanks for the laughs and nice to see you back! I was getting worried!

    Love the thought of Andy 'rolling his own'! hahaha

    Also,Figgy I completely agree with you... those language teachers would come up against some very useless students if they tried to teach us!

    I always thought Fiennes' name was said Rayfff... I'm confused.

    Leelu (yes, I like my pet name)

    PS oh, mouse update: 2 down... many more to go!

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  15. Coug,
    Yes! Of course, hockey counts. Not my sport but no question it is one. See, you've been underselling yourself as a sports fan. (And with the crew? Very cool. Like being with the band.)

    I guess I thought Mr. Fiennes pronunciation of his first name was an English quirk. Not so, eh? Just his own affectation?

    PeeDee

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  16. Yay! I'm a sports fan! PeeDee doesn't think I'm weird anymore! (well, ok, she probably does, but, well, not quite as weird as previously...)

    I have never, ever thought of myself as "cool", not ever. Never.

    Hey Leelu, well done with the mouseage. Try baiting the traps with peanut butter, works every time. (Had I been away, by the way? Only over the weekend....)

    Koog

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  17. Ah, m'dear, I am no one to judge on weird. I'm sure there's plenty who think I am. But I like weird, so that's OK.

    But, being with the hockey crew, is definitively "cool." I said so.

    PeeDee

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  18. Leela, if I couldn't learn French under the tutelage of two very kind, and patient instructors, what hope do I have of any language acquisition if the Schleck brothers, Fuglsang, and the entire Leopard (no excuse me, LAY-oh-pard) Trek team were the instructors?! No hope I tell you!

    Can you imagine what the spoken exam would be like?

    "Prof." Fuglsang: Okay, let's have a basic conversation in Danish. Tell me something about yourself, like your hobbies.

    Me (stupefied, with a look of mute horror, as I involuntarily start to sing the Danish National Anthem): Der er et yndigt land...

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  19. Uhmm nice. Right now I'm overwhelmed with scenarios of leopards teaching cougars or vice versa in a confined classroom.
    Biology is the subject and more or less directed at the difference between muscle development in men and women.
    It's quite a small room and it's so hot in there. The jackets and sweaters really are too much, first for the cougars and then the leopards start to sweat to and they are also in the need to pull someting off. Then suddenly Leelu sees a mouse and now I better stop because it will be lonely in the naughty corner.

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  20. Well, of course I'm the first one in the line, did anyone even doubt that? *shocked* :P

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  21. OMG Barbara LMAO!! You just made me giggle in real life, at my desk!!

    Figgy, I'd probably get "jeg elsker dig" out before turning beet-red and collapsing on the floor ;P

    Leelu

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  22. Oh Barbara! (*pretends to pull shocked face*) (*or even, pulls pretend shocked face*)

    I'm sure that my part of the lesson would go thus:

    Andy "Now, Coug, how do you say 'what nice legs you have, Mr Schleck'?"

    Coug "Wirgle fleeeigle muurg." (*beaming idiot smile*)

    Andy (*looking stern*) "Your accent is not very good, you should stay behind after class..." er, sorry, should be:

    Andy "What?" (*curls lip in disdain at my girly giggling and sends me outside to stand in the corridor - Schleck equivalent of the naughty corner - until I remember how to speak English.*)

    And yes, I'd be beetroot-red as well.

    Coug

    PS Cristin, looks like no-one is challenging you for the job of rubbing Fabu's legs, you could be in with a chance!

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  23. Fabian, legs, rub better. Where's the queue?
    Eli

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  24. Oh Eli, where were you at Paris-Roubaix? Didja see poor Fabian in the tent, having to wash his own face? No soigneur.... No wife.... No adoring fans? The poor man had to use his own exfoliating mitt....

    Coug

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  25. Don't worry honey, I gave him a good rub down off camera x
    eli

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