Monday, 18 April 2011

Amstel Gold

Aw, and it nearly was Gold for Our Glorious Leader - he had his moment! Alas, he didn't quite win, as we all know now, but oh! so close!

Our Eurosport coverage was a bit sparse, we were well through the race before we joined it, and at the end it was cut off before we even got the final positions of more than the top 10, so I didn't actually know where Andy finished until about an hour ago.

So, how did the race look to me? Well, it started with Leelu screaming about the, er, substandard streaming. No, not in person, on Twitter... LLB and I were sitting waiting ready to watch, but we let the recording start and run for about 15 minutes so that once we start watching, we can fast forward through the adverts. I can thoroughly recommend replacing your outdated video recorders with Hard Disk Drive Recorders, by the way. We can even replay, pause, etc in the bit we are watching, while it continues to record it for us!

Anyway, we were wasting time to give it a head start, and LLB had Twitter up. "OOh!" I said, "can we see if Leelu is still up? I bet she's watching it." so we found her, and sure enough, there she was, complaining about the stream which was breaking up. So I quickly signed in just to give her a shock and tell her off about using bad language (no, I didn't really do that). And BY THE WAY MISS FEEDEE what's all this about the hunky young Lithuanian? I shall tell Andy of you......

Eurosport started by telling us why Rabobank were wearing slightly different jerseys in this race,and making a big thing out of the fact that they'd asked permission to do so, unlike Certain Other Teams (ie Radioshack) in the TdF last year. However, they didn't tell us what the "rose" thing was all about: we assumed it's another cancer charity of some kind. Nice jerseys, though: still sufficiently blue, white and orange to be recognisable.

Then suddenly it was oh dear, poor Katusha, having problem: uh? What problems? We paused our viewing to look it up on google! Oh, drugs again, this time it's the Biological Passports, five of them were seized. Good thing Rob Hayles wasn't commentating, he'd have something to say about that.

Note: Rob Hayles - ex Track and Road cyclist, now a commentator - had a horrible experience when his bio passport seemed to indicate an irregularity, back when they'd just been invented, and he was banned from participating in the Worlds. Then the UCI were told that track cyclists have a different training regime from road cyclists, so their bio passports are bound to show differences which are not irregularities, but are artifacts of the way in which they train and race. Once again, the UCI shoots itself in the foot. Rob was exonerated, but you can only imagine that it's left a mark.....

Back to Amstel Gold - Ryder Hesjedal appears to be texting. "On the rce, nce dy, lking fwrd to airprt"  perhaps? Oh, he's not texting, he's just trying to open a gel.

By the way, am I the only one who took several races to realise that Ryder was his first name? I kept hearing it as "rider Hesjedal" as opposed to "driver Hesjedal"  or "mechanic Hesjedal" perhaps. Do you know, there are times when I think I'm not as bright as I think I am....

And then OH NO! Tumbling Leopards! We were just saying that the peloton looked a bit nervous when oof! over they went, and there was Frankie right in the middle of it, one of the earliest to go down, although please note I am not suggesting that he was the one who caused it. However, he was almost definitely the one that Fabian ran into! And ooof, poor old Fabian went down hard. We replayed that bit several times, and it really did look as though Fabu went straight up the back of Frankie, as Frankie was just hitting the deck.

Oddly enough, in Cycling News, Frankie says that he was behind Fabu, and Fabu went down first. Well, as they were there, and we were only watching the rather limited images shown to us, then they must be right. But I must day, it looked as though Frankie took out Fabu.

Fabian took a moment to get back on his bike, he was wringing his wrist and looking pained: but then, as though made of rubber, Fabian bounced back on his bike and the two of them were off. At first we thought that Frankie was bringing Fabu back, but then Frankie's bike broke (drat) and Fabian went off like a rocket!

Even the commentators were saying "Good lord, look at him go!" and raving about his bike handling skills. And going "fffffffff!" (sharp intake of breath through small gap in teeth) as he screamed around the cars, around the corners, around more cars, between the motorbikes etc. It looked as though he was at least rocket-powered, but I understand from Fede's blog that his bike also turned out to be broken,  but he did manage to finish.

Meanwhile, Our Glorious Leader is in the leading group. He's at the front. Ooh!  He's looking back over his shoulder. Why, Andy, why? You all have radios, you know that Fabu and Frankie have had both crashes and mechanicals and aren't going to be there. I've noticed a couple of times this year that both Schlecks seem unable to ride at the front of a group without having their chins on their shoulders. As Rincewind said: "When running away from something, never waste time looking back over your shoulder: nothing you will see will make you run any faster, and you might just trip over something."

Ok, so there are sound tactical reasons for looking back in some situations, they just seem to be doing it a lot.

End of digression;

Andy at the front! Andy pulling away! No-one can go with him! Yay, Andy! Andy pulls it into a gap! Not a huge gap, but if he can just keep ahead until we reach the much-hyped Steep Bit At The End then he might be in with a chance. We all know he's not a sprinter, but he's pretty darned good at climbing, and the commentators have told us all the way through the race that it ends in a "nasty little kick". Go, Andy!

Jakob, meanwhile, is doing a textbook illustration of How To Play It When Your Teammate Has Made A Break.  He hung on, always near the front but not doing any pulling, but not letting himself get more than three or four away from the front. And every time anyone made a move, he was there on the wheel.  Thus he saves his own energy, but if anyone else tries, he can go with them and then there will be two of them in the lead group. And he did it perfectly, and when Gilbert made his move, Jakob went too.

As we all know, Andy didn't quite make it up the hill alone, Gilbert did it, and Simon Gerrans from Sky just squeezed Jakob into fourth place.

At that point Eurosport wound it all up, so I've had to go online to find that Andy came 11th, Little Fab 20th, Frankie 22nd,  Maxime 63rd and Fabu 64th.

So that was the Amstel Gold, then! Not a terribly exciting race, except for when Andy was leading for the last 5 kms or so. Lovely countryside.

Now, as we're a bit short of photos today (Firefox is crashing every time I try to search for an Image) I can show you some ideas for the Schleckland Flag which I will be waving at the Tour of Britain later in the year.

Figgy suggested using silhouettes of certain noses to form the outline of a country, so I found a kaleidoscope site which allowed me to upload my own pictures, then kaleidoscope them.

Here's the first effort:


OK, it's a bit scary, actually.

So I tried again, and I thought this one was a bit nicer, even though neither of them are really suitable for putting on a flag. But they were fun to do!


15 comments:

  1. Love the kaleidoscopes, although the first one is kinda creepy.
    Hesjedahl must have been predestined to be a cyclist when his parents gave him that name. I had wondered what happened to him in this race as he was supposed to be a fairly high favourite. then I saw in Miss Fede's blog that he had stomach problems and actually had to stop at a house to ask to use the bathroom!
    I thought the race was rather dull, until Andy took off, then I started yelling at the computer.
    The coverage was so-so, froze up quite a bit until I found a fairly decent stream. I only understand about half of what Sean says though. Did you hear them talking about the strange prizes they get sometimes. Sean said he won a cow one time and was asked if he wanted it live or slaughtered!
    emjay (formerly Joyce, aka mj. I've changed my signature again. Don't like the way "Joyce" looks in print. Sorry to be so flakey.)

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  2. Coug, while I'm both frightened, and mesmerized, by the kaleidoscope of Schleck (don't tessellations just give you a feeling of vertigo?), the following is more of what I had in mind:

    http://individual.utoronto.ca/montag/schlecklandflagmap.jpg

    With apologies to anyone who takes exception to my defacing / gross misuse of Andy's nose.

    Right, I seriously have to go study for that European Civilizations exam now. Awar!

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  3. haha!! they sort of look like dinner plates! :D

    Oh Andy... he just blasted off too soon, didn't he :'(
    Excellent work by Mr.Fuglsang though.

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  4. Coug, the pictures are hilarious. And, yes, the first is scary. Also, I was really confused by Frank's discussion of the crash where he says he fell over Fabu who went down first. It really didn't look like that to me, either (or, honestly, the Eurosport announcers or the posters over on the Live Thread on Podium Cafe). Ah, well, glad neither was hurt.

    Karalala, Andy said (both before and after the race) that he needed to go early because there's no way he could beat Gilbert if they hit that last "nasty little kick" together. Given all the work Gilbert had to do at the front of the peloton, one could quite easily imagine that he might not have had enough for the final go (but, clearly, he was amazing that day). I am happy to see some aggressive Andy-riding, it's more fun that way, I think. And yes, yeah for Jakob!

    PeeDee

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  5. Emjay, don't worry about it, just keep changing your name until you find one you like! Yes, I too loved that part in Miss Fede's blog about Ryder having to knock on the door. See, my joke about getting drinks from houses en route may yet come true...

    Sean Kelly is such a funny commentator, you get nothing at all from him for ages, then suddenly he's off and chattering, and David Harmon can't get a word in sideways. I sometimes wonder if he sneaks out of the booth to do errands, or whether he sits there all quietly until David makes urgent hand gestures at him to join in.

    If I won a cow in a race, I'd definitely have it chopped up for the freezer.

    Figgy, some of those noses are very nearly country-shaped, you might be on to something. Your flag is almost exactly as I'd imagined it from your description, so well done!

    Oh my word, Karalara, you're right, they do look like those awful plates that elderly ladies collect and put up on the wall. (*shudders*) OK we'll forget that idea. Round flags are silly, anyway: where do you put the flagpole?

    Thanks PeeDee, I was suffering moments of doubt, but I could have sworn it was Frankie who went down first. Fabian is somewhat more heavily built.... But the helicopter footage was from quite a distance, and the picture quality wasn't great. As you say, I'm just glad that neither of them were badly hurt.

    Incidentally, I've only just noticed that Fabian, seen from above/behind, has a very nice waistline! Anyone else noticed that? He has bigger shoulders than many of the others, giving him a good shape when cycling.

    Digression, talking of shoulders: I caught the last few minutes of a Triathalon the other day - any one seen much of them? Crazy sport: a bunch of swimmers in long-legged all-in-one swimsuits have a race, swim out the water (somewhat like my idea of the first primeval creatures leaving the swamp for the first time), run, leaving trails of water behind them, grab a bike, throwing on a helmet and shoes as they do, pedal off for some distance, back to the racks, slipping off their shoes as they approach, leaping off the bikes and hobbling barefoot along the road to the right rack, throw bike in rack, on with running shoes, drop helmet, and go running.

    I mean, putting shoes with no socks on to bare feet that were just wet and are probably dirty, ouch: running in shoes with no socks, ouch: throwing on shoes so quickly that they must be either slip-on or velcro, and running in what must therefore be non-adjusted shoes, ouch: there's just so much ouch about it!

    Not to mention that seeing cyclists in what look like sleeveless time-trial skinsuits is just, er, slightly obscene? Or is it all those bulging arms, and hugely muscled shoulders?

    I found it quite disturbing!

    Coug

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  6. No, please, don't tell Andy about the Lithuanian! It was just a short moment of craziness, really! No one is better than our Glorious Leader, oh no.

    Actually, it seemed that Frank crashed twice on Sunday. Why am I not surprised? :P

    However, was I the only one that found the outfits of the podium girls a little bit...weird(http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/amstel-gold-race-upt/photos/169469 )?

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  7. You mean not everyone in England collects dinner plates with Glorious Leaders on them? From the advertisements in the US, you'd think all Brits have at least a dozen Will and Kate commemorative plates on display in their dining room.

    Ryder gets a decent amount of coverage here and during the 2010 TDF I just couldn't figure out why they called him rider, but no one else. They weren't saying Rider Schleck, or Rider Lance (he is simply Lance here, no last name necessary). I believe it was the very last day of the tour that I saw his name in print, and it clicked, ahhh Ryder, not rider. Glad I'm not the only one Coug :)

    Wait, who won a cow? I thought they won their weight in beer? I figured that was why OGL gained a few kilos over the winter.

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  8. LOL Emily, yay! So glad that I'm not the only person to have misunderstood about Ryder's name!

    And hey, just think, somewhere in the world there are probably a bunch of HesjedalLanders all "squeeing" at the thought of Their Glorious Leader knocking on the door and asking to use the loo....

    Yes, it was Sean Kelly, former racer:he won a cow. They asked him afterwards if he wanted it alive, or dead. He chose dead, chopped up, and frozen, and it was delivered to him a fortnight after the race. "Bizarre" doesn't begin to cover it!

    I am ignoring your derogatory suggestion that OGL would drink 67kgs of beer over the winter.

    Although thinking about it, one litre=1 kg, doesn't it? So if he drank a couple of litres a night, maybe 3 times a week? That's only 10 weeks, and if Jakob or Stuey popped in, they'd probably help to drink it...

    Finally, FeeDee, we didn't get to see the podium girls on Eurosprort but I saw a photo and they seemed to have beermats on their heads.

    Thanks to your link, I have now seen them in more or less their entirety, and Oh. My. God: (as Annoying Janice from Friends used to say) they actually are wearing beer mats.

    ROFL!

    Who thinks of these things?? Do they get prizes for designing the Least Attractive outfit? Silliest Outfit? Outfit Most Likely To Be Rejected by Podium Girls?

    Coug

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  10. Something tells me Barabara has been sent to the naughty corner again...

    Leelu

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  11. lol BARBARA! mispelt your name, sorry :)

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  12. Oh I wasn't suggesting he drank his weight in beer and has gained weight from the beer drinking. I was suggesting he gained weight (all muscle of course) in order to take home a bigger prize :)

    I would have asked for a live cow personally.

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  13. No Lee, I don't think (?) I'm in the naughty corner again, because I removed the post myself. I thought I posted a very nice picture, but when I checked it out it was changed in a different one that hadn't nothing to do with my comments.
    At the moment I have a lot of work, but maybe in a few days I'll try to find the nice picture again and send the right link.

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  14. Has OGL got himself a girlfriend? Not sure why Roland Miny would put the pic up on his site????
    CeCe

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  15. Yes, it's MEEEEEEE, it's MEEEEEEE!!

    No, of course it isn't me, don't be silly, a) I already have a boyfriend, b) I'm waaaay too old for him (although found out at the weekend that a woman I know fairly well thought I was 12 yrs younger than I am, heh heh heh) c) I don't have red hair. And d) having been in Andyhab for weeks now, I am soooo over him. No, really. Sooo last year.

    Classy photo, though.

    Coug

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