This is why we don't have an English Procycling team...

...that trains in England full-time, that is.

Remember I made that remark about finding it hard to picture the Sky team pounding up and down the M60?

Well, this is why! Today, police had to close the M60 when a lorry was blown over earlier today.

Blown over! A lorry! What do you think that could do to our Pro-cyclists!!!

And they think they're having it tough in Qatar...

Talking of which, Qatar - pronounced Katarr with no inflection, which is news to me as I've been pronouncing it Kwa'tARR for years.... -anyway, Qatar, Tour of, has started.  Over here in the UK we have hardly any coverage at all, but good old Eurosport managed to squeeze in a bit on Sunday, despite the ski-ing over-running by 25 minutes.. gggrrrrrr....

So Lovely Lovely Boyfriend and I watched the end of the Time Trial/Prologue, which was very short but moderately exciting, as the course was set around the "City of Zombies". OK, really it was called the Cultural Village or something equally daft, but it was almost completely deserted, and surrounded by desert. Not exactly what our ProTeams are accustomed to... three blokes and a dog at the finish line, and what appeared to be someone with an iPod playing Lady Gaga.

The important aspects from our point of view included a) the entire route was cobbled, b) in different styles of cobbles, c) with masses of road furniture hanging out over the course: d) it was as twisty and turny as, well, a city centre, despite being some sort of ring road: and e) despite being some sort of ring road and therefore about a mile wide, they had restricted it with cones and barriers as though specifically to make it as dangerous as possible. Luckily each outing only lasted 3 minutes, somewhat weird for a TT but there you go.

And Cavendish managed to fall off.

And the race organisers, ASO, managed not to have any TV coverage of it.

Despite having a camera bike behind every rider, and despite Cav being second to last to go, and therefore - you would have thought - one of those who you'd want to have coverage of.

Here he is afterwards, well bandaged: apparently his front wheel collapsed and he bunnyhopped over the speedbump. Don't look at me like that, that's what the BBC said! Yes, there was a speedbump.

ASO also managed not to have any coverage whatsoever until the ski-ing finally, finally, finished. Not even a ticker! Not even anyone on that wretched Twitter!

Oh, and there was a building that appeared to have a monstrous beetroot on it's roof. All very strange.

This is what the cultural village was supposed to look like, but don't be fooled: in real life it was all bendy skyscrapers and brown, brown, brown.

Not one inch of green anywhere.

Very grim.

And apparently there weren't any spectators as there "wasn't any interest in cycling" in the area.

Thanks, Qatar, do you seriously expect us to come back?

Fabian, below is saying to Kim "Pffft, all zis sand, ees ruining my hair, and my tanline, eet vill be rideeeculous. Le'ss go home. Come on, le'ss go home."

Photo: Cycling News

You'll notice that the official vehicle - they all had white Mitsubishi pick-ups - does not say Leeopard Trek on the side... I wonder why?

Stage 1 has taken place today, but I won't be seeing any of it until Wednesday, and by then hopefully LLB will have taped the coverage so I can catch up on it. I can see that Cancellara is ok, above:  but Brian, mate, what jersey is Fabu wearing now? Where's "the name on the collar" gone?  You are going to have to redesign those jerseys......

...I mean, where are Team Schlux in this picture?

Photo: Graham Watson via Cycling News

Can YOU pick them out? Coz I sure as hell can't!

Sartorial complaints aside, we're doing ok so far, so fingers crossed for Team Schlux and for Team Sky - yes, I have two teams to support now, plus Igor Anton from Euskaltel as my Favourite Underdog.

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Now, briefly, other items: I promised a picture of the Peak District for those Schlecklanders who have no idea where it is. Here's the panoramic view early one morning. Yup, that's it: the occasional huge tree (Ash), lots of fields, rolling hills, sheep, fields, sheep, dry-stone walls between fields, fields, oh, and did I mention the occasional sheep?

It's glorious... and at this time of year, practically deserted: most days, we met only three or four other walkers. This is our idea of a good holiday! Yesterday I heard that Cavendish had been up there training last week - drat, we missed him.

And if you lean way, way back from your screen, you can just see my ghostly reflection, taking the photo.

It was a super modernised barn, with underfloor heating ooooh, lovely.

Here's Itsy and Bitsy (or technically, Bitsy and Itsy as they are sitting the wrong way round)  hanging on to the Jaffa cakes for me.

TipTop!

FeeDee, they're asking if Hippi and Hoppi are out of the washing machine, yet?

More local news, tonight the sky caught fire outside the back of my house:

Dramatic, huh?

Best news of today, though, is that we have another Schlecklander, so welcome to Nimani, all we know so far is that Nimani loves Andy. Well, who wouldn't, he's adorable.  Oh, wait, are you "Nim" ? Leelu's Nim? If so, welcome with open arms and a big Schlecklander hug all round! If not, welcome anyway!

Cos that means I am allowed another photo of Unndy! (With thanks to Mr Kemp at photo.lu for permission.)

Aaaaaaw....! You're Our Boy!