GP Plouay

Our coverage begins with a quick look at the start line - Hi, Andy! *waves* Oh! Er, hi Contador! Ooer, is this the first time they have raced together in recent history? They used to be such friends...

Suddenly the race is well under way, and we have a break of four, all small pro-continental teams, in the classic "tv break" (which has recently become the classic "I need a  contract" break) as they get publicity for themselves and their sponsors, including the Damart Boys in their loose grey woolly underwear.

It seems like a small race to be a UCI one: I had actually forgotten it was a "proper" race, and was expressing surprise at all the big teams taking part, until LLB reminded me, with a pitying expression on his face. It seems that everyone who didn't go to la Vuelta is here, making quite an impressive field, for what looks like a small race.

According to Twitter, Andy stepped off barely half-way through the race, but our coverage is only highlights, so we don't see any of that, nor is it being referred to, later in the race. Twitter was full of criticism: "If Becca won't let me race where I want to, I won't race where he wants me to" was one suggestion, and there were a  lot more along those lines. Is Our Andy really that petty? It would be hard to blame him, if that were the case, bearing in mind the latest bomb dropped by Mr Becca ( See Becca pulls the Plug - "No more money for anything other than UCI races that we are forced by contract to attend") but it would be somewhat unprofessional. I'll wait until I have heard his side of it before I judge!

Our coverage makes sudden jumps, as it is only the highlights: we go from 23k to go, straight to 16k with no word of explanation -  the break have suddenly vanished: it makes it hard to see any coherent pattern to the racing. No wonder "new" fans get so confused by it, if all they see are highlights of races.

At 10k to go there is a break of three riders, and the Lotto rider is fishing in his jacket pockets for gels. He pulls one out and immediately throws it away. Huh? Did he not like it? Was it the wrong flavour? Was it to save weight for the final push? I find it hard to believe that a couple of grams could make that much difference - a bidon, yes: water is heavy, but a tiny gel? And what if he needs it in the last few kms?

Well, the race ends: apparently there was a crash in the last but one lap, but we didn't see it due to our "highlights" coverage. The good news for RadioShambles that Nizzolo (currently contract-less for next year) came a very close second and *pants to get breath back after dashing off to their website* it seems that Andy had stomach problems, causing him to retire.

The Shack report ends, rather spitefully, "Hopefully Andy will feel better in the upcoming days."

Will he be sent off to Canada for the last couple of UCI races, I wonder?