Thursday 21 June 2012

Tour de Suisse final days

With 60k to go, we join the coverage of the race to see a small break of 4 men up the road, one of which is a Saxobank rider. Well, we know what the conversation in his ear is going to be!

Then we see Fabian drafting outrageously behind - oh hang on, that's a BMC car. Why is he drafting behind a BMC car? "Asking about a contract." suggests LLB.

Clearly, the negotiations do not go well, as Fabian moves on from BMC to the Katusha car. Discussions seem to be going well, do we want to see Fabu becoming a Dark Lord? Presumably the light sabre on offer was not good enough, as he leaves them and moves up to the Euskaltel car.

Oh, well, they have nothing to offer, he stays there for barely a few seconds before overtaking and making his way up to the Shack car.

It's a waffle day, by the sound of it: our commentators have nothing to talk about concerning the race (they don't seem to be interested in Fabian and his contract negotiations) so they start discussing stories of "when I was a rider" from Brian Smith. Then they go on to start a lengthy discussion about Linus Gerdemann, who in their opinion has not fulfilled his potential. That must be nice for all the Linus fans to hear.

LLB and I discuss the situation with cycle sponsorship in Germany, ie none, due to the doping scandals, and we wonder how  long it will be before we get a German team again. Unfortunately, it might be some time, now that the Armstrong/Bruyneel thing has blown up again. *sigh*

At 33k to go, the gap is three and a half minutes, which means that the break could do it: but by 19k it's dropping fast, as the peloton pick up speed and start chasing in earnest.

Bjarne: " Faster! Faster"
Vinther (panting): "Boss, I'm going as fast as I can.." (sweat drips off his nose)
Bjarne: " They are catching you - we need the points, go faster!"
Vinther: (panting hard) "Boss, I'm doing my best..." (more sweat flies off, flung backwards by the slipstream)
Bjarne: "There are only 4 of you: don't worry about winning, just come fourth."
Vinther: (rolls eyes): "  ...  "  (too out of breath to speak)

Sky start grouping up: and where are the Shack riders? Scattered all through the bunch, as usual. Guys! Come on! Groupage! *waves hands in air in imitation of a DS* We haven't heard the name of RadioShack, or Frankie, so far at all, other than with the word "armstrong" attached to it.

But we have a comedy aside - LLB notices that the GreenEdge kit appears to have a happy smile across the backside. Go on, look for yourself! We decide to call it a "smilebot". There's not much happening in the race today, you can tell, can't you?

Aha! JVS! Yes, I had read in the start lists that honorary Schlecklander Johan van Summeren was in this race, but we've barely seen him, and suddenly there he is, doing what he does best, ie pulling the peloton along.

At 3k to go, the break are nearly caught, and we get a nice shot of Fabian dawdling along. "Saving himself for the TT" say our commentators, wisely.

(I have to say, Switzerland is a lovely place: so green and lush. All that lovely grass - no wonder the chocolate is so yummy.)

As the catch is made, Vinther and the AG2R rider shake hands - I always like to see that, it represents all that is good about cycling road races. It's just a pity that they can never do proper "right to right" handshakes, on account of having to maintain control of their bikes, so they end up doing these really awkward handshakes where one looks as though he's about to get a broken wrist.

Frankie is suddenly, astonishingly, second in line, with only 2k to go: don't say he's going for the sprint finish? Well, that would be a turn up for the books, as they say. Surely not. Sky take over, they storm for the line but at less than 1k to go it suddenly breaks up into a messy scramble, Sky's Ben Swift very nearly lives up to his lane, but Peter Sagan storms into the final section and takes the win.

Not much sign of Stuey through this race - I guess he was doing what he does best, working as a super domestique and using his Smilebot to help his race leader.

Once again we are treated to the strange, vaguely uncomfortable sight of a sweaty man pulling off his outer clothing and being wiped down with a wet flannel, before we thankfully go back to race footage to see Fabian leading in the bus, and getting lots of screen time.

Of course, tomorrow we have the TT, great things are expected of Fabian, and we all want to know if Frankie can hang on to second place in the GC, or even - sharp intake of breath -improve it?

So, the TT: we only get the highlights ("Boo!") and we get a little bit of footage of Fabian "giving it full beans" as they say, but he comes in second to Astana, which is a bit of a surprise for everyone.

Apparently Haussler (cries of "Barbie Barbie!") has given up and gone home, as there are no more sprints and he's not that good at TT: I have to say, bearing in mind that I'm not a pro-cyclist (as you all know) that it strikes me as odd that so many pro riders don't finish the races. Surely it looks better on your palmares to say that you have finished this number of races, rather than that you merely "started" this number of races?  Yes, I know the argument that says that if a sprinter has no more chances of winning, then why should they wear themselves out in two mountain stages and risk injury or strain, not to mention the psychological damage of crawling in last. But it still seems odd to me.

Halfway through the race, Shack have three riders in the top 10, which is quite amazing! And as you all know, Frankie did a good race, he came in 1'37" down, over a 49 minute race, which is pretty good going, knowing that this is his worst discipline, and knowing that there are two mountain days to come. He ends up 5th in the GC.

For some reason I having nothing to say about Stage 8, probably because of the extended shot of Ten Damme struggling up one of the climbs, with about a gallon of thick, clingy saliva drooling out of his mouth: they showed it in slow motion, which was even worse, and which made him look like some sort of human-slug hybrid.

So we skip straight on to the final day, 53k to go, the breakaway are 10 minutes ahead, Shack are leading the peloton and finally, finally! we see all of the team together.

Oh dear, a crash at a roundabout and a Shack rider is down. I knew the groupage was too good to be true! Is it Frankie? Even the commentators are concerned. No, it's Didier. Sorry, Didier, but we have to say "Phew, it's not Frankie!" I'm sure he'll forgive us.

By 45k to go, it's not looking so good:  after losing Didier, the rest of the team are fading away and Frankie is left with only Monfort and Jakob, and then Jakob is cooked, and drops off the back.

We get a nice shot of Frankie going over a cattle grid, positioning himself very nicely to stay on one of the flat struts. Ten Damme follows him a little later, going bump-bump-bump over the grid - oh dear, it will shake loose all that slug-juice again, yuk *shudders*.

Frankie attacks! Fantastic, that should shut the critics up. Costa is in trouble, Levi Leipheimer can't respond, "but has he gone too early?" ask our commentators, in worried voices. Fair point, he did go too early yesterday and got caught just before the top. But everyone and his dog is shouting for the Schlecks to attack,  to show some aggression, etc etc etc, so there's no pleasing everyone. Frankie, I am pleased to see, appears to be on a Sunday training ride, looking very calm and unstressed while behind him,  riders are weaving around across the road and struggling to stay upright.

Possibly, Frankie is thinking that as he has lost the rest of his team, it's a gamble worth trying: he may well get caught on the descent or on the long flat valley bottom, but at least he's made a good show, and has demonstrated that his legs are in good shape: at the very least, he's practising for the Tour, getting kudos for trying, and getting lots of TV time. In fact, we are getting lots of coverage of Frankie and the followers (another 50s doo-wop band: they had a couple of hits but never made it really big) and no coverage at all of the breakaway, which must be so maddening for their fans!

Over an advert break, our coverage jumps from 44k to 22k - what!? OK, 22k of watching one bloke out by himself being very, very slowly caught by the peloton is less than fascinating, but it's Frankie's day of glory! He not only did NOT get caught on the descent (so "yar boo sucks" to everyone who said he would) but he held them off all along the valley floor, for 22k! All by himself!

Oh well, that's how it goes: Frankie slips back into the bunch, and it's not a waste, he will have tired out a lot of other riders' legs. He goes back to the car, probably to have a chat with Kim Andersen, or possibly to receive his race reward treat. You know, when the trainer pops a small treat into the mouth of the performing animal after it has done a trick...

Chris "Face of Pain" Anker Sorensen leaps off the bunch and storms away, stealing all the tv coverage: between him and Frankie, the break must be gnashing their teeth and cursing! It takes the bunch 10k to catch him, and by now we all know that the break are going to win the stage, but no-one cares: we just want to know if Frankie can make up 14 seconds on Costa in order to win the race overall.

Oh my, 6k to go and finally we get coverage of the leaders. Oh dear, they are going very slowly. Ah, it's the final climb, that explains it. The gap is still three and a half minutes, though, so it's pretty clear that we are now watching two races at once: this front group are going to win the stage, so that is one race: and in the chasing group, there are 9 riders who are competing for the overall win. Exciting stuff!

In the run-up to the line, the three guys in the break take the stage places, leaving Chris Anker Sorensen, three minutes later, coming up to the line in a group of 4,  struggling to the finish, head wagging from side to side, no doubt trying to shake loose his earpiece to escape Bjarne's voice shouting "Get 4th or 5th! Get 4th or 5th!" , but to no avail, he comes in fourth of the four, which means 7th overall, which means no UCI points. Shame.

Frankie does well, he maintains his gap to keep 2nd place, and best of all, he hugs Costa (who wins the overall) to congratulate him on the win, which is always nice to see.

Well, Frankie podiumed in the Tour de Suisse, Fabian is back in the Swiss National TT Champ colours, and Jakob has not been picked for the Tour, and is pretty cross about it.

We certainly are getting conflicting stories about what is going on in the Shack. Kloden (Shack) says reports of friction have been exaggerated, all is well, the team is working well together. Jakob (Leopard) says "it does not take a genius to see that the team is not running as it should" and he quite rightly makes the point that he is the only rider (other than Fab) to have won a race this year, which should put him in the running for a tour place. 

It's hard not to assume that Mr Bruyneel/Becca's decision not to pick Jakob for the Tour was somewhat influenced by his earlier comments that he was thinking of leaving the team.  Which is understandable, from their point of view: if Jakob wins stages/points at the Tour, those points and that glory go with  him when he leaves the team.

Ah well, time will tell: meanwhile it's less than 10 days to the Tour! Yay!

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