Andy: "Pfff!" Get your knee off of my foot!"
Frankie: "Aack! This floor is covered in fluff!"
Jakob: "------" (wordless spluttering)
Jensi: "Now look, stop being so noisy, Mr Bruyneel will hear us and come and tell us off."
Andy: "He's not here, he's still in the hotel - isn't he?" (worried tone)
Fabian: "No, I saw him outside earlier."
Laurent: "Can anyone see him out there now?"
Linus: "You look, I don't want to."
Andy: "Jakob, you look, will you?"
Jakob: "------" (more wordless spluttering)
Andy: "Oh Jakob, stop mucking about, get up off the floor, and take a look outside.."
Jakob's head appears at window height, and there is a comical squeaking noise as he wipes condensation from the inside of the car window.
Jakob: "No - we're all right, I can't see him."
Frankie: "Oh good. Now, who's got my coffee?"
Andy: "Which one was yours?"
Frankie: "I left it on the dashboard, just there - " (he points)
Jensi "Hah, no wonder the windows are all steamed up, then!"
Yes, dear readers, for some unknown reason the Leopard boys are having a secret meeting in the car, instead of cluttering up my cupboard. Perhaps they didn't like the stack of old towels I have in there? (they might come in useful one day... you never know.)
Thanks to Kat for that picture (*thumbs up to Kat* ) and in case you didn't see the others, here is Andy in full regalia:
I have to say, I was just starting to really like the new kit, and then we managed to find some footage of the Tour Down Under (thanks, Sky Cycling!) (and yay, Leelu, we looked out for you by the crown on the road but - *sniffle* - we didn't see you) and do you know what?
Well, remember me going on about the failed re-design of the Garmin kit for TdF last year? The white kit with the band of blue argyle that was completely obscured at the back by the numbers, and the front by the way they sit on the bike?
Well, Leopard Schack have fallen into exactly the same trap: when they are storming towards us, heads down and working hard, all we now see is a sea of black. What used to be the visible white "stripe" - the front chest panel - has now been pushed down by the red stripe, and is barely visible at all.
Boo! Don't they listen to me? Honestly, have none of these kit designers ever actually watched any race footage? How often do we have to say it:
1) Helicopter shots. By all means make the back white for heat reduction, but put something big and distinctive on the back of the shoulders. Saxo are improving in that respect. FdJ have always been good, with that big clover-leaf thing. Shack were brilliant last year, with the thick red stripe. Sky got it right this year - they clearly listened to me, and have widened the blue stripe so that now you can see it from above. Leopard kit? Well - *rocks hand to and fro* not brilliant. Somehow the red stripe disappears at any sort of altitude.
2) Rear shots: prime sponsor shot: nice big name across the backside. The use of the O logo is not bad at all, so we'll give them about 8/10 for that. And of course 10/10 for the nice big Nissan, ha ha, you all know that I'm a bit biased towards Nissan!
3) Camera Bike side shots: hah hah hah hah, well done Leopard, got the name in nice big letters all down the sides! I still think the Sky kit with the rider's name is the best: Schack tried hard, with the rider name and nationality flag down by the waist, but sadly they are too small and can't be read from any of the normal wobbly camera bike shots.
4) Front Oncoming: for the 95th time, this is NOT the same as when they stand proudly upright on the podium. Look at the damn footage! They hunch forward over the bars, all you can see are the shoulders and about the top 4" of the chest. The rest is crumpled and in shade.Who is that driving the peloton along? Leopard? Garmin? BMC? Sky? I rest my case.
5) And finally - Gloves... seriously overlooked as places for sponsorship/ID. Again, well done Leopard for getting the O logo on the knuckles there. For most of last year I was seeing Johan Van Summeren (ah, sigh, remember him?) with the Garmin gloves, and for one whole race I thought that he had the number "31" on his gloves, and that that was his race number. I was thinking of encouraging Leopard to do the same, and was trying to find out how long the gloves lasted, was it worth having pairs printed up for each race, for each rider, was it ridiculously expensive, etc: and then I realised that one of Garmin's sponsors is 3T, and that was what the gloves said. Whoops.
Right, so there you have it, Kit Design 1.01.
Finally, a lovely camera-phone shot of the training camp, it seems to all be a bit too much for Andy. But I wonder what Laurent is looking at, and why he's smirking? Perhaps it's the resuscitation team? I can't seriously believe that Andy Schleck would fall asleep with food still on his plate, so we have to assume that he's passed out with exhaustion. Or maybe he's trying to jog loose the biscuit crumbs that the others have been flicking into his ears.. or maybe it's some residual physiotherapy to restore feeling to the missing wisdom tooth areas.... I could go on for some time, but I think I'd better stop there!
Andy Schleck, having one of those "it's all too much for me" moments:
perhaps another questions is, why is andy eating with gloves on???
ReplyDeletei realise it's somewhat different to seeing them on tv, but the RSNT kit was fairly easy to pick, watching them in person. i did, however, get Garmin-Barracuuuuuuda and Saxo Bank mixed up a bit. their helmets are quite similar and the blue, from a distance, is hard to distinguish. but once they get closer, it's not as bad. the Saxo kit looks amazing in person, as does the GreenEdge kit!!
Leelu
Wow, I'm really envious that you've seen them in person, so early in the season - lucky you!
ReplyDeleteGood point about the helmets:
6) USE the helmets!! Look at Movistar, since they went all-green they are really easy to pick out in frontal shots. And look at Contador (I know, I know, grit your teeth and bear it) with his "look at me, I have a different hat from everyone else in my team, ha ha, sponsorship, more money, suckers, ha ha" hat with the natty white pointy V on it. Very distinctive.
And by the way, in the last 12 hour period two people have arrived here from using the search term "Andy Schleck Jil breakup". Bad people! Leave them alone!
Coug