Vuelta - first two days (and Vattenfall)

OK, Vattenfall first, as it was pretty small, from our point of view, but here are our Brave Boys:

(I coloured Dominic's hair in, specially for Leelu.)

Our Eurosport coverage started at 49kms to go - and yes, Lars Bak is at the front! I just never get tired of that joke.

Linus leads them up the hill, to cries of "Go, Linoooosss!"  and then he is looking back over his shoulder. LLB makes sarky remarks about Team Leopard sending their guys on Training Camps where, instead of practicing TT or picking up musettes, they practice looking back over their shoulders.  I give him a Look, which should suppress him for the time being.

However, that's an interesting thought - do they have training sessions for riders and soigneurs, to practice holding/collecting the bidons and musettes? I have often thought that the helpers ought to hold the bidons by the bottom, and not by the top, to reduce that wrist whiplash effect.  I asked Ken Sommer via Twitter, but he hasn't responded. (*sobs quietly - oh Ken, I thought we were friends!*)  I have an image of the training camp turning into something like a Pony Club outing, with cyclists circling the new soigneurs at ever-increasing speeds.....

Where were we? Oh yes, the race. Tom Stansjnider made a sudden break, (cries of "Good boy!" ) and they showed it three time! Once, in slow motion!  The director must like him.

Our commentators kept on saying how scary Greipel (left, in an old kit) looks: how mean he looks, how tough he looks, what a scary face he has: but I just don't see it, he looks like a muppet - you know, sort of soft and somewhat toothless.

Not scary at all.

Wonderful cheekbones.

Apparently Giacomo was hoping for good things, but he had to withdraw partway through the race with stomach pains, poor boy.

At the end, it was Sky who came out on top, they did a text-book lead-out and flung Eddie Boss across the line in first position.

So that was the Vattenfall classic.

Then we turned to la Vuelta, yay!  A classic start, with a Team Time Trial, and speaking as a fan of the team containing Fabian Cancellara, I am all in favour of starting with a TTT, hee hee.

My first comment has to be about the strange colours of the footage we received. Our Eurosport commentators went to great lengths to point out that they were receiving the pictures from the host broadcaster, and didn't have anything to do with what they showed, or what colour it was.

I believe "over-saturated" is the technical term. Or possibly "headache-inducing" as the blue kits were so bright it hurt to look at them, and all the fluorescent parts - Geox's bikes for one - were actually strobing. Most distressing. And then there was the camera-bike who had chosen to put a different filter on his camera, turning orange to brown. Very odd for the Rabobank riders.

So, we started off our coverage with BMC on the ramp, looking rather dull red and matte black: in fact, they looked as though they were in camouflage kit, and could barely be seen against the dull red of the start ramp. Some of the bike-holder girlies looked a bit confused by it all, or perhaps they were miffed because they had been hired to stand there in shorts and halter tops - with extremely un-flattering baseball caps - and many of the cyclists had considerably slimmer legs than they did. Excuse me while I laugh unsympathetically.

The BMC team contained the Swiss National TT champion - Martin Koehler, poor guy,  who will forever have "but only because Fabian chose not to enter this year..."  after his name

Cofidis were the same - we could hardly see them start. Things went from bad to worse for them, the commentators were saying things like "oh dear, they've lost their shape completely" and they were down to just five riders about half way through. Little did we know that worse was to come...

But it was nice having so many familiar faces from the Eneco Tour. Which reminds me that I haven't written anything about that yet, sorry! Later, later...

Leopard looked cool and comfortable, and did a cracking time. Go, guys!  I thought it was particularly kind of Fabu to let Jakob lead up the last few metres, and take the red jersey. What a great guy - he could easily have taken a big turn and arranged it so that he was the first across the line.

Vacansoleil set off, with a team containing no sprinters and no GC contenders. Why are they here, then? For the TV breaks, of course! That's all they ever do, stick a man in the break and get lots and lots of name-checks to please the sponsors. Not every team is in it for the wins, for the glory - some sponsors just want lots of TV time. Mind you, as Vacansoleil are currently sitting a the bottom of the UCI team ranking, they might be looking at relegation next year, if they aren't careful.

Radioshack come to the start ramp -oh dear, the caption on the footage calls them Radio Shark. Lots of fishy jokes... oh dear, Brajkovic drops a chain immediately after coming off the ramp,  argh! The mechanic is out of the car and running to fix it with no delay, but what should the team do? Rush on without him? Or wait for him to catch up? There is much debate amongst our commentators as to what is the right thing to do. They decide that it depends on whether the rider being delayed is your big GC contender, in which case you should wait. But if it's just a domestique ("just!") then you should storm on without them. In this case, Brajkovic was team leader, so they did they right thing by waiting for him.

Rabobank are off next: aw, no Graeme Brown on their team, boo! (*says "Graeme Brown?" in Leelu's voice*)

Andalucia next - they are wearing mostly blue with a lime green sleeve - 'ere, hang on, isn't that the Liquigas kit? Oh dear, perhaps a Liquigas soigneur was trying to be helpful by passing on some old kit to a lesser team? Anyway, they are a complete shambles. "What a terrible sight" say our commentators, "How not to do a TT" they say, "All over the road" they say. Oh dear. And they are right, they are truly terrible at the TTT. The commentators don't like their kit either.

Aha, SaxoBlank. Oops! One of them nearly took a tumble at the start-ramp! Luckily no Contador this year, thank heavens. Nice to have a break from him. Wonderful/terrible moment (depending on whether you still support them or not) at the dead turn - that's where they have to turn right back on themselves, like when they block off a road and just do a U-turn - when Nick Noyens gets a puncture, doesn't quite take the corner, bunny-hops up the kerb and plunges straight into the bushes, aaargh! Luckily nothing was broken, and although he said that he was bruised all down his right side, and his left hand was very sore, he was otherwise all right.

Ah, Omega Pharma Lotto. Many sighs from the commentators - "that's the last time we'll be seeing that kit" they say.

Lampre hit the start - oh dear, literally, one of the riders has a serious wheel malfunction, the aero disc appears to have fallen out.  "Well, that's a long ride by yourself, then" say the commentators.

Movistar are ready to go, while the commentators say " they're not counting 2011 as a good year," Especially after having lost Tondo, I should say not. But they get off the ramp ok.

HTC are ready to go - again, the last time we will see that kit.

Sky - ah, now we get interested. Oh dear, what's happening? There are only four of them! Four? That's not enough! Bradley Wiggins is at the front, and he's having to practically stop to allow the others to catch up.. finally a fifth Sky rider appears, and they steam off. The commentators have no idea about it either, as they only have the same footage that we are watching, although they do have the benefit of hearing Race Radio, so occasionally they can add some extra information. Later on, we found that they'd had an early crash which took out Kurt-Asle Alvesen, and delayed a second rider: and they were having what they called "communication problems". Normally that means with their own radios, so the one in front can't hear the DS screaming "slow down, you fool, you're losing them!"

Geox are on the start ramp now, we admire their fluorescent yellow bikes and their Farnese-style kits. They are wearing seriously strange TT hats: but at least they have proper TT bikes, and David Harmon says "They are here to win." Well, we'll see.

This leads to some discussion about the position of la Vuelta in the cycling calendar, and the fact that it's still considered to be a "lesser" race than either of the others.

Personally I think it won't achieve better status until the transfer season is delayed until the end of September. I mean, how can you true commitment when half the teams are looking at either getting or losing riders? Or worse still, closing altogether? I really can't see the point of allowing the transfer season to start before the main races have finished. Honestly.

Euskatel set off - ah, my favourite carrot, Igor Anton is team leader. Go, carrots!

Geox are then shown going round the dead turn and going splat! as they did so. Whoops.

HTC are looking the best so far, they are down to seven riders, and Tony "Dripping Cod" Martin now drops off the back. This is a bit worrying, as Leopard are leading with the best time so far: phew, they didn't make it, yay!

Finally, we get Liquigas (wearing Andalusia's next-year's kit) doing a storming ride, they are actually faster than Leopard Trek at the split time... much biting of nails, but phew! They come in just 4 seconds down, Leopard have won the TTT!

As a final laugh, the commentators say  - and I write this phonetically - "Foogle-Schlang will be pulling on that red jersey..."  Oh noes, if Leelu is listening, she will be cross!

So that's the prologue done, then: none of the teams liked or appreciated the course, they all said that the tight corners and strange obstacles were dangerous and unnecessary, and not condusive to a good TT. And I have to say that I agree, this was not a "proper" TT course at all, and it wasn't pretty to watch either.

Apparently there was carpeting laid out across the sand to the start ramp, so the riders had to wheel their bikes across - possibly this meant there wasn't any chance for last-minute adjustments? Although I have to say, as a non-competing, non-team-mechanic, I would expect them to have checked and rechecked everything beforehand..... but still, to not be able to ride up onto the ramp is very odd.

I still think that a TTT as a prologue is the best way to start a stage race - although I don't think there is any point at all in awarding the KoM and Points jerseys until the first day of proper racing. But more of that, later!