If you really can't remember it, I've kindly embedded it (below) so that you can relive the moment.
He has his own brand of cyclist-sore-patch-reduction cream, called DZ-nuts (for some reason I have just mis-typed that as DZ-buts, not once but three times) and he was rumoured to be producing a version for female cyclists - who apparently also suffer from chafing in the billowy portions - which, it was suggested, would be called DZ-lips. Thankfully, it was named "Bliss" instead. Less catchy, but considerably less tacky!
Here you go: and if you watch it right to the end - it's ok, it's not very long, and it doesn't get any "worse" than when it starts - you can see Tyler Farrar giving him a very strange look. Which could be due to DZ merely wiping his application hand on a tissue, rather than washing it....
So, what's he up to in the off-season?
Apparently he has just spent some time recording voice-overs for Garmin's SatNav system, as an optional extra for users to purchase - or possibly even to download for free. Here's a small sample:
Can you imagine that? My phone has sat-nav, and there is a nice calm lady who issues instructions, and who never, ever gets cross if I go the wrong way. (Well, would you take a left into a dead-end street at the start of a journey? No, and nor would I. SatNavs should always have intelligence applied to them.)
I can't quite imagine navigating with Dave Z yelling at me in American!
There is an option for a "Surfer Dude" voice, which was very funny for about ten minutes.....
....oh but wait, I'm having an idea......
(somewhere in Lux, a phone rings)
CG: "Andy, my pet, what are you doing this afternoon?"
Andy: "Errr, training, of course."
CG: "No you're not, it's raining and it's November, you've just returned from holiday, there is no way you are going out on the bike." (accusing tone of voice)
Andy: (hangs his head) "Well, maybe not, sorry."
CG: "OK, so what are you doing, really?"
Andy: "Oh, not much - Frankie and Martine have come round, we might head up to the folks' for dinner later on...."
CG: "Great! Can you get yourself down to the recording studio?"
Andy: (puzzled) "Errr, yes... but why?"
CG: "Oh, haven't you heard, Dave Zabriskie has done a set of guidance voice for Garmin."
Andy: "For sure, I read it this morning. "
CG: "So..... we thought it would be nice if you did one for us!"
Andy: "Really? You think that I should?"
CG: (breathes enthusiastically) "Oh yes, it would be nice, go on, please?"
Andy: "OK! For sure! "
There you go, definitely a best-seller. Wouldn't you want those dulcet tones telling you which way to go?
I'd buy one of those! Gosh, imagine if the Sat Nav came with Frankie and Fabian options as well? (ok, admittedly, we may need to brush up on some Fabianese in that case...)
ReplyDeleteDo you think we can start a petition?
Brisbane Gal
I do really love OGL's voice and way of speaking.....might just encourage me to drag my arse into the present times technology!
ReplyDeleteWith Frankie saying "thas cool" when you do it right!
BE
Hummm...an advert for another blog posted as a comment? Did you authorize this Coug?
ReplyDeleteBE
Now I know what I want for my birthday!!!!
ReplyDeleteOnce, about 8 years ago we (me in fact, the others were sleeping) were driving through good old Lux and somewhere I missed a sign and ended up in the off-roads. Oh, such a nice landscape, maybe/probably drove through Mondorf at least 1 time. Nowhere I could see a sign leading us to the main roads so I just had to trust on the sun and made it in 2 hours or so to the border of Belgium (imagine Lux is only about "40" km long) with on the radio only Lux stations with people talking that strange language that sounded so familiar, but on the other hand so difficult to really understand...
How great such a trip could be with OGL's voice leading us around and pointing out all the secret and touristic places!
Coug, you should apply for a honour post at the Lux tourist office and I'm not kidding.
Barbara.
Uninvited advertising post has been REMOVED! *huffs indignantly* Sorry folks, didn't check the blog until late last night. Some people have a darned cheek...
ReplyDeleteYes, I thought it would be a nice idea. Perhaps not so much on the Fabianese, though - do you really want to get lost every time you go out?
"Leff, leff, no, I mean ri, so sorry, hey my hair looks so good..."
Maybe we could have Fabu trying to do it, with Andy over-ruling him and being very sensible, with Frankie laughing and saying "thass cool!" in the background....
Coug
Oops! We shouldn't forget the great Jean Vois in all of this! I imagine that would be the most energetic and hyped up Sat Nav - "Ok, so we gonna turn left up ahead. No! Left, left! We turn left up ahead! Yeah! You got it! Ok! So next we gonna go straight until the lights! Remember - pain is temporary, glory is forever!"
ReplyDeleteCoug, maybe you should suggest to dear Ken Sommers that the next piece of LT (sorry, RANT) promo should be some skit with all these guys in the same car trying to navigate their way somewhere?
Brisbane Gal
er . . . I have a tube of DZ's product. I didn't realize it was THE DZ pushing it. I also didn't know there was a girl-y version. I do believe this is vegan, FWIW.
ReplyDeleteThe package says, "For proper mainTAINTance of the perineal area . . ."
Another topic....
ReplyDeleteCoug, you are the UCI expert here...I just read that Valverde (Movistar) is not being allowed to participate in the 2012 team presentation. He still has a few weeks to go on his suspension.
I looked in the rules and it does say that suspension includes "ceremonies"...so that's the hook that UCI is using to prohibit him from participating. (And it's UCI sqwaking...not Movistar). It seems petty and small to me. Yet, I do understand, rules are rules. I'm not a big fan of his - so it's not a personal thing for me. Sometimes I think dopers should get lifetime suspensions. My son says I will be shocked to learn in the future who was doping that I thought was clean...grrrr. I am curious as to how other's feel. Seems like all UCI does is muck up the works whenever possible. This is not what we in the states would call a Union, which would work FOR cyclist's rights. Feels more like mafia frankly. Thoughts?
BE
We traveled a lot when I was a kid - Mom was Fabianish in that we had to watch which direction she was pointing rather than words coming out her mouth..
ReplyDeleteBE