A bad day for Sky ProCycling...

...horrors, what a dreadful day - first we hear that Bradley Wiggins was knocked off his bike while out training, leaving him with a broken rib and a broken finger..

....and now I've just read that Sky's coach, Shane Sutton, has also been knocked off his bike, in a separate incident, leaving him in hospital with bleeding on the brain.

Predictably, there have been calls for the government to incorporate cycle-safe features in road junctions etc, but the real problem is, of course, that in this country, motorists don't care about cyclists.

Although I have to say that most cyclists don't help themselves by being "invisible", and by picking and choosing which rules of the road they are going to obey.

By skipping over red traffic lights, cycling on pavements (illegal in the UK) etc, they lead to a "them and us" mentality with car drivers determined - at some level - to get some sort of revenge.

They - the car drivers - never seem to think about the realities of aching legs, a sore bottom, getting soaking wet, having "hat hair" and so on... it's not all fun, being a cyclist.

It would be nice if we would all be a little bit nicer to each other.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Spain...

...the sun is beating down, the dust is swirling in mini-tornado shapes, and the harsh cries of a buzzard echo across the empty landscape.

Andy: "Mate, what was that?"
Jakob: "What was what?"

They stop pedalling, and the tandem coasts to a halt. The cloud of red dust around them subsides.

Andy: "I thought I heard something..."

He looks around, in a hunted manner.

Jakob: " Nah, nothing there. Come on, only another two hours and we can head back for the hotel."
Andy:  "Wait! There it was again!"

Nervously, he turns from side to side, looking over his shoulder. Jakob, on the back, looks back the way they have come. Way, way back in the distance, there is a small cloud of red dust. It is getting larger, and closer.

Jakob: (poking Andy in the back to get his attention) "Look!"
Andy:  "Ow! What?"

Andy looks back, to see where Jakob is looking.  The cloud of dust grows larger, and closer.

Andy: "Ooer, what's that? Is it following us?"
Jakob: "I don't know, but I can tell you one thing, Coug used to always be going on about zombie towns out here in the  middle of nowhere."
Andy: "Jakob! Mate, that was only a joke! There aren't really any zombies, you know."
Jakob: (a worried frown creases his otherwise perfect forehead) "But, but, she used to say that zombies ate cyclists, remember?"
Andy: (cuffing Jakob on the shoulder) "Come on! Don't be silly, there is no such thing as zombies."

The cloud of dust grows larger, and a strange whining noise can just barely be heard.

Jakob: "Right, that's it, I'm unclipping."
Andy: "What?! Don't unclip, how are we going to pedal away?"
Jakob: "Look how fast it's approaching. We could never outrun it. They must have stolen a car."
Andy: "Who?"
Jakob: "The zombies."

Andy looks at him. They both unclip, and step off the tandem.  The cloud of dust is nearly upon them.

Jakob: (nervously) "Err, mate, if this is it, well, I have to say, it's been really, really good knowing you, and I'm really sorry about that training tape."
Andy: "What training - what! Was that you?"

At that moment the cloud of dust screeches to a halt, enveloping them both in a cloud of choking sand. When it settles, a UPS van is revealed, with the driver rummaging around in the back. He approaches our Leopards with a large box and a clipboard.

UPS man: "Hola, Meester Fooogle-slang?"

Numbly, Jakob nods his head. The UPS man hands him the clipboard and asks him to sign, then gets back in the van and drives off, leaving them looking at the box.

Andy: "Well, not a zombie, then. Go on, open it!"

Jakob opens the box. It contains several sets of his new Astana kit.

Andy: "Tasteful."
Jakob: "Mmm."
Andy: "I see they went with the turquoise again."
Jakob: "Mmm."

They strap the box to the back of the tandem, get on it, clip in, and cycle away....