The wardrobe door opens. Frankie's face appears, looking worried.
"Shh, you dope, get in here, quick." Frankie makes a long arm, grabs Andy by the collar and pulls him inside the wardrobe. They sit, cross-legged, on the floor, while Frankie pulls the door to - but doesn't quite close it. (Everyone knows that it is very foolish to shut oneself inside a wardrobe.)
Andy: "Look, what are we going to do? Everyone hates us. "
Frankie: "No, they don't. They are all grown-ups, they made the choice to leave Saxo and come with us. "
Andy: "I know... " he groans, "But we did sort of persuade them, I mean, we told them it was going to be really cool, and we wouldn't have any more problems with sponsors backing out, we were promised 4 years!"
Frankie: "I know, I know, but still, they don't hate us: we've had a brilliant year, it's been a lot of fun, and no damned training boot camp, remember. "
Andy: "Yeah..... but we didn't win the Tour. "
Frankie: "Come on! Second and Third? Two brothers on the podium? Two riders from the same team on the podium? Two riders from a newly formed team on the podium? We were great! "
Andy: "But everyone's saying 'Well, you didn't win it, did you?' and that stupid thing about three times a bridesmaid, always a bride. I tell you, I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that one. "
Frankie laughs. Andy looks at him, with a pained expression. Frankie laughs again. Andy's mouth just turns up a little, at the corners. Frankie pulls a face at him. Andy smiles. Frankie smiles.
Frankie: "There you go, it's all right, they don't hate us. They've all had a ball, and just about everyone is coming with us next year. "
Andy: "Mmm, true. Not Stuey though. "
Frankie: "No, but we'd have lost him to GreenEdge anyway, I reckon. "
Andy: "Do you think so? "
Frankie: "Yup. I think he's really loving the idea of an Aussie team, and I'm pretty sure that he'll be going into DS in a year or two - and where better than there? "
Andy: "OK, good point. "
Frankie: "And look, other teams are having the same issues: just look at HTC! How many wins did they have? But their sponsor is just dropping them like a ton of bricks. At least we're mostly staying together. Omega Pharma are splitting, that must be pretty terrible - it can't have been good to be in the Shack this year, and to be honest, Saxo aren't looking particularly strong, either. "
Andy sighs: "Yeah, I know. You're right. But I still feel bad. What about all the fans? The ones who bought the team kit? It's not cheap, you know, and now they won't be able to wear it next year - well, I mean, they'll still wear it, but it won't be the same. "
Frankie: "I'm more worried about Cougar Girl, she made those flags specially, you know, and now they aren't any use at all. "
Andy: "Perhaps she'll make a new flag, for next year? "
Frankie: "Oh god, what on earth will it say? "
Andy: "What do you mean? It'll say RadioShackNissanTrek, of course. "
Frankie: "No it won't, dummy, the UCI won't let a pro-team have more than two sponsor names in the team name. "
Andy: "Oh really, Mr Smartypants? What about Omega Pharma Lotto, then? "
Frankie looks at Andy, pityingly.
Frankie: "Omega Pharma is one sponsor, Lotto is the other." There is a pause. Frankie mutters, quietly, "Thickie. " He waits, looking sideways at Andy to see if he will take the bait.
Andy: "Oh. " There is a pause. Andy looks sideways at Frankie.
There is a short but violent interlude.
Frankie, flattening down his tousled hair: "Anyway, they don't all hate us. Trust me, it will be all right. "
Andy, pulling his jersey straight: "OK, bro, I trust you. I just feel so bad, not knowing what to say to anyone - and I haven't tweeted for ages. "
Frankie: "Huh, well after that last one - what was it, 'an untimely but imperative dental operation'? Blimey, mate, you lost a lot of credibility there!"
Andy, sadly: "I know, it kinda lost something in the translation. "
Frankie: "You sounded like a robot! "
Andy: "All right, all right, I was told what to say, ok? Unambiguous, they said, can't be misinterpreted, they said. "
Frankie: "Ha ha, 'not safe to be left alone with a computer, they said', you mean! "
Andy reaches over and slaps Frankie playfully on the side of the head. Frankie falls sideways and hits his head on the wall of the wardrobe.
Frankie: "Autch! "
Andy: "Serves you right, stop teasing me. "
Frankie: "Cissy. "
Andy: "Oh looks who's talking, you fell right over and I didn't even hit you very hard. "
Frankie gives Andy a Look. Then checks his watch.
Frankie: "Yikes! Look at the time, come on, we can't stay in here all day. "
Andy: "Oops, yes, I was just coming to get you, they are all waiting for us downstairs, come one! "
They leave the wardrobe and rush downstairs.
Meanwhile, in the packed Conference Room, Mr Becca is frantically telling jokes on the stage, with sweat dripping down his forehead, and hissing behind his hand to Mr Bryneel "Where the hell are they?! Well, go and find them!"
" and then the nun said..."
