Tour of Dubai - at last!

It seems like forever,  but finally, as Jen said this morning *waves to Jen on Twitterland* :

Yes!

Men will be riding bikes again, hooray!

No offence to the Tour Down Under, but we don't get tv coverage of that, so Dubai is our first chance to see proper racing, hopefully in HD. Yes, I hate to sound like an HD bore but it's absolutely true, once you watch cycling in HD, you will never want to watch a dodgy stream again. Talk about a clear picture, suddenly you really can recognise riders from helicopter shots.

So what can we expect from Dubai? Same as last year: sand, few spectators, mostly flat, probably windy, then on Sunday we flip over the Tour of Qatar, a surprisingly interesting race considering it's mostly dead flat and sand.

However, first, Dubai: so who can we expect to see?

Pride of place, race number one, is well-loved Schlecklander Johan Van Summeren !! I have no idea why, Taylor Phinney won it last year for BMC but this year AG2R have the first set of bib numbers, and JVS has number one. Well, of course, as a Schlecklander Pet, I would expect no less. I'm looking forward to checking if he tucks up his Ahh-dzhee-duurs-air sleeves as much as he used to tuck up his Garmin ones.

Astana have second slot, alas, no sign of the lovely Jakob,  but that's not surprising as he's not a classics rider, and these early-season races are traditionally used to build up for the classics. Instead, Ass-t'na are sending that well-known sprinter (not) Nibali and his new sidekick, Lars Boom, probably chosen in order to re-create the old Bibali team name (Nibali/Basso).

Bardiani are appearing in what appears to be Cannondale's old kit, a nasty shade of yellow-green, but I don't know anyone they are sending.

BMC, on the other hand, in the familiar red-and-black ladybird kit, are sending Philly Gilly, Brent Bookbinder (always think he sounds more like a librarian than a cyclist) and Daniel 'Oss, which is Hoss without the H.

Team 4 is CCC Polstat, wearing Euskaltel's old orange kit with black hoofprints all over it: their team is comprise entirely of scrabble letters, and was obviously chosen by throwing down the letters and scuffing them into groups.

Etixx-Quickstep (I keep hearing Sean Kelly talking about ethics when I hear their name) are sending Cav, supported by Tony "Machine Man" Martin and Mark "Bee Eater" Renshaw, so they are going to be pretty much unstoppable in a sprint.

Team 6 is Lampre-Merida, clinging on to their pink kit, and not a bad thing either, with the peloton being stuffed full of black and white and blue this year. Pozzato is about the only one of their riders I've heard of.

Movistar are unchanged with the Wiggley Worm kit, now starting to look sleek and stylish compared to some of the other kits. (Trek, I'm not mentioning you, but you know what I am thinking.) They are leading with Valverde, and I'm ashamed to tell you that I can't remember if he's a good guy or an unrepentant ex-doper.

Team 8 are a local team, SkydiveDubai, so it's not surprising that I don't know any of them.

Giant-Alpecin are next - their kit seems to be a negative version of last year's, more black than white this time around. I'm sure that Alpecin is a hair-loss preparation (to avoid it, not to create it) so maybe their stripes will take on a comb-over swirl later in the season. They've send John Degenkolb and a bunch of nonentities.

Katusha's kit seems to have changed again, another variation on a theme: they've sent "Whack 'im" Rodriguez and a clutch of supporting Dark Lords.

Team 11 are something called Novo Nordisk, who are either a small car or part of a computer, I can't decide which: predictably, I've not heard of any of them.

Sky, still resplendent in black with a blue stripe, have gone for the whale-panels on the back this year: you know, that thing where the whale with a huge mouth emerges vertically from the sea and all the expanding panels in the lower jaw flex to allow them to sieve a massive mouthful of water.  It's not an A team, by the look of it: Ian Boswell ("who?") takes bib number 1, with Bernie Eisel at 2,  Swifty at 6 and G at 7.

Stinkoff  are team 13, har har, unlucky for some: very much a B team with the "wrong" Sagan. Oh, how it must hurt to be the "other" Sagan, older and much much less successful than Jammy Dodger. They are wearing their hideous fluorescent yellow kit, which I dislike on so many levels... not least because of the clash with the yellow jersey. A case, I think, where the UCI really should step in and veto it.

Finally we have United Healthcare, still sporting an asymmetrical kit, and you know how much I hate that.

No time trial this year - well, it's only a short tour, four days - which is a bit of a shame, I always enjoy the chance to study the riders individually.

Still, as Jen said, it's nice to see men riding on the tv again!