We're back in the sands of Dubai... actually it's not quite as predominantly desert as Oman and Quatar, there is a hint of green here and there. And there are lumps on the horizon too - not what you would call proper mountains, but a bit of a change from endless flat sand.
Like Oman and Quatar, there are hardly any spectators - well, as our commentators say, it's a new race, and it's a strange sport for a country where the men wear long trousers with long-sleeved dresses over the top, and usually hats as well. What they must think, when the see a peloton full of lycra and all those bare legs and arms, I cannot imagine. So it's rather nice to see a lone man, complete with persil-white trousers and dress, waving at the camera bike. LLB and I solemnly wave back.
Talking of which, we see two riders from an unknown team drifting back towards the peloton - they both wave and smile at the camera, and the host broadcasters show it again, in slow motion. See?! This is what I keep saying, you have to "engage" with the camera bikes, you must wave and smile, or pull faces, or make hand signals, in order to get TV-time. Andy, boy, are you listening? *laughs*
Declan Quigley, one of our commentators, is suddenly talking about a suggestion he's been tweeted, that the Tour should allow substitutes, if they don't compete for GC - what!! I've been saying this for years! This is proof that Quiggers does not read this blog, huh, *huffs indignantly*. I shall have to have words with him. Oh, that would mean going back on Twitter. Hmm, maybe not.
Wow, an interview with Frankie - and he's not even in this race! He's looking good, actually - looking healthy, relaxed, and very calm. You know how sometimes - with the greatest respect, Frankie, honest - he does look ever so slightly mad around the eyes. Well, there's none of that today, he looks very good. And, strangely, he looks more like Andy than he used to. Perhaps later, we'll get an interview with Andy? *sits to attention*
Today is Garmin's turn to wear the horrible ping-pong helmets, clearly they are planning a sprint finish, and I notice that JVS has not tucked up his sleeves. I wonder why. I have visions of the team seamstress (they must have one, surely?) being instructed to stitch rows of stiffeners in his sleeves, to prevent tucking...
The scenery in Dubai is most interesting: there are sudden odd patches of lush irrigated greenery, with no apparent reason for it, which really stand out from the brownish general background. Just as I am thinking this, LLB comments that from the helicopter, it looks like a model railway - you know, when sad middle-aged men build complicated track layouts in their lofts, and spend hours making miniature trees and buildings, but skimp on the background, spreading out flock-covered fabric and just spraying them vaguely greeny-brown, with odd boulders, strangely out of scale, plonked down at random.
Suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, there is a sort of truck-stop area - a cluster of flat-topped buildings (no rain out there, I suppose, so they don't need pointy pitched roofs as we do) including some actual shops (we always comment, when watching the Giro and la Vuelta, "where do the villagers buy food? Where are the shops?"), one of which is labelled "Supermarket" in English. It really does look like a poorly-made scale replica.
There's a super break taking place, with a lone rider from a shitsmall team out front for km after km, the commentators have been banging on about the pollution in the area, but I haven't seen any signs of it - until I realise that the lone rider is Pliuschin. Pronounced Plee-oo-shin.Ah. He's riding for the Skydive Dubai team, and it's good to see the local lad getting lots of TV time, so well done him. Nice kit, in a rather retro toothpaste/chewing gum sort of way. He's out there alone for ages, but at 10k to go the peloton are suddenly storming along, we are starting to ramp up towards the two small hills of the stage, and he is swallowed up.
BMC, done a lot of work, suddenly appear to have run out of steam, and there's a sudden flurry of Movistar activity as the Wiggly Worms group up at the front. *waves at Alex* With a 10% hill, suddenly it's all the pro teams, and the contis just melt away, which really shows the difference in level between the divisions. I've seen it any number of times, and it's always amazing to see - you think that the pro teams are working hard, but they aren't: they are merely cruising along with the contis, until the chips are down, when they suddenly start working and zoom off. I remember seeing footage of one of those "come and ride with the pros" events, where the amateurs were slogging along, red-faced and dripping, and Our Andy pedalled up behind them, swung smoothly round and past them, all while chatting and laughing one-handed on his mobile phone....
At 6k to go, they are bombing downhill and Sagan is drinking, overtaking Valverde, and fiddling with his shoes: hey, it's a proper race! These guys really are a league apart, aren't they?
As often happens, it's a mad dash, then at 2k it all suddenly slackens off as they play the cat-and-mouse game of who is going to start sprinting first... and off they go, the final is exciting, including as it does a speed bump just as they round a corner into a narrow section. Luckily no-one falls off, although it's quite amusing to see the sine-wave effect of each rider rising up over the speed bump in turn.
It's a totally unexpected win by Kittel again, we didn't even see him on the climbs, and our commentators didn't see him in the sprint until just after he crossed the line, which is always amusing.
So, one more day to go, looks like another flat day, round the city. Wonder if Kittel will win again? Fabian's sitting in 5th place, not that it really matters, as it's not a UCI race, so there are no points to win.
I'd love to make some comments about where Andy and Frankie are racing next, but it's impossible to get any information from the Trek website unless you have half an hour to spend, waiting for the incessantly slow screen-changes. Guys, all I want is a list of races, and who is riding in them; not fancy pictures of them leaning on their bikes, I want a list of their names. OK, it's nice to have a head-shot of them as well, but not the full pics which mean you can only get four of them on the screen, and I have to scroll left and right to see all of them. Waiting 15-20 seconds per screen change. This is simply not acceptable, particularly when you think that many people will be wanting to access the site from their phones.
So I don't know when Andy will appear for the first time this year, I'm sorry to say - hopefully someone will let me know!
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